tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84557282623571576152024-03-05T07:37:19.782-08:00The Meandering Mind of MattMattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-71053164311734439302020-03-25T11:13:00.001-07:002020-03-25T11:13:35.969-07:00Ironically it is time to come together...Hello faithful readers,<br />
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Yes, I'm still alive and kicking, my mind has been brewing with random thoughts and ideas and I've always meant to come back here and write some of them down. It's funny how life always gets in the way sometimes. The last time I wrote it was 2014, and I was complaining about <a href="https://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.com/2014/03/sick-of-gay.html" target="_blank">gay marriage</a>. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for gay marriage" height="297" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/36/Same-sex-marriage-taiwan.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not sure what these people are doing, but it looks like they are plotting something.<br /><a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Same-sex-marriage-taiwan.jpg">https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Same-sex-marriage-taiwan.jpg</a><br /></td></tr>
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I'm happy to say, while it's not perfect yet we have come far in abolishing the idea of gay marriage. Many people have finally decided that it's just marriage after all! Yay some of society!<br />
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Other things that have changed...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1ADsxYPBd3HfaXIuyYmkIkqf0ZhgIa0yWwLu94ORusXeSVuh7CA9sycAlGKDHwxOrhPu_qjUa-dBs0lmqkNyd1srfHovDyVth55ih6BDSZERjbf3qqSMGmKC_4nhqNz_XtoG9JDmuZ09/s1600/ptrump.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="683" data-original-width="1024" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga1ADsxYPBd3HfaXIuyYmkIkqf0ZhgIa0yWwLu94ORusXeSVuh7CA9sycAlGKDHwxOrhPu_qjUa-dBs0lmqkNyd1srfHovDyVth55ih6BDSZERjbf3qqSMGmKC_4nhqNz_XtoG9JDmuZ09/s320/ptrump.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Follow me on Twitter....<br /><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/5440390625">https://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/5440390625</a></td></tr>
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The Americans have managed to elect one of the most polarizing politicians in recent history. I mean maybe I'm just naive, or never looked at politics as seriously as I do now, but it's absolutely nuts the way this guy divides his country. (On a side note, I've started following politics seriously.) The thing that worries me is not so much his policies, or non-professional antics is that it feels like he's always playing the "Let's point out the differences between us and them" game. If you're not with me, you're against me. You're either good or you're bad. There is no middle ground...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for dumbledore" height="320" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/7261/7561591378_fa3bfdbe10_b.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="238" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Only the Sith speak in absolutes<br /><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_armory/7561591378">https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_armory/7561591378</a></td></tr>
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The truth is however, absolutes are very rare, to the point where they are almost absolutely impossible to find. There is no person or thing that is absolutely and totally wrong nor is there anything that is absolutely and totally right. No matter how much you look up to a person, they still occasionally rip a bad fart. No matter how completely vile and evil you think a person is, they at one time in their life have made someone happy. <div>
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And with that in mind, we need to understand no matter how polarized we seem, there is common ground. There are things we can agree on. There are places we can come together. I mean who, regardless of their political leanings or beliefs, doesn't find this baby hippo cute?</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for baby hippo" height="265" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/3890/15337812362_51c1e0c918_b.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I will grow up to become a human killing machine.<br /><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/tambako/15337812362">https://www.flickr.com/photos/tambako/15337812362</a></td></tr>
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If you said "No Matt, I find that baby hippo absolutely repulsive, and I think it deserves to die in a fire." then I think you are a monster, but I will still bet, if I take the time to understand you, we can come to an agreement on something. Maybe the BBQ hippo tastes good? Maybe a raging hippo killed your entire family while they were sitting in your backyard sipping margaritas and you are traumatized. Maybe you are a lizard person with no soul, and don't have the mammalian disposition to love all babies with big eyes. </div>
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The point is, it's much easier to drop a person you don't agree with in the "them" bucket than it is to try and understand why they don't agree with you. You don't have to like "them". You don't have to be nice to "them". You don't have to help "them". "They" are barely human anyway, why don't "they" do things MY way. MY way is right. MY way is moral. Everybody ought to be like ME!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for arguing" height="266" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7a/Jeff_Isom_arguing_with_an_umpire.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm telling you Who's on first!<br /><a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jeff_Isom_arguing_with_an_umpire.JPG">https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jeff_Isom_arguing_with_an_umpire.JPG</a></td></tr>
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This is how wars start.<br />
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Speaking of war... Let's take a journey back about 100 years ago and have a little chat about this invention...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for loudspeaker" height="212" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSDpThirZ18SHrQSj2xCWu8_fj8lL56VzUJ2DrChXo0KpT-0Te5" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">You will listen to me!</span><br /><a href="https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/view-image.php?image=110708&picture=single-red-loudspeaker">https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/view-image.php?image=110708&picture=single-red-loudspeaker</a></td></tr>
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The loudspeaker was invented in 1924, and allowed a single person to broadcast easily to large groups or even stadiums of people. This, of course, led to rock concerts, and everyone lived happily ever after. The End.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for confused" height="266" src="https://i0.pickpik.com/photos/703/146/358/doe-hirsch-female-oversleeping-preview.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What the hell was that about?<br /><a href="https://www.pickpik.com/doe-hirsch-female-oversleeping-confused-prick-ears-8971">https://www.pickpik.com/doe-hirsch-female-oversleeping-confused-prick-ears-8971</a></td></tr>
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Ok, well that's not the end of the story, but I always try and look for the good in everything.... Anyway, a young charismatic speaker by the name of Adolph found that if he used this new technology, he could get his message of German nationalism out much more efficiently and whip people up into a patriotic frenzy. Before the loudspeaker and radio (which he also used liberally), a person could talk to about 20 people at a time at best. Now, with the power to reach 1000's at a time. A single person could influence a country, and influence he did with his message of us vs. them. I think we all know where this led...<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for world war 2" height="266" src="https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2020/01/02/17/25/world-war-2-4736381_960_720.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joke caption omitted intentionally<br /><a href="https://pixabay.com/photos/world-war-2-cemetery-netherlands-4736381/">https://pixabay.com/photos/world-war-2-cemetery-netherlands-4736381/</a></td></tr>
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Look, I'm not trying to compare Trump to Hitler. That's not the point of this blog at all. Odds are you already feel that way, or you don't.... Like I said, he is polarizing. What I am saying is when communication technology increases it becomes a powerful tool that we need to learn to manage it appropriately. When we don't, bad things can happen.<div>
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Social media is one of those huge evolutionary leaps in communication technology. All of the sudden, everyone has a voice. People that have never been heard before can be heard. What's more, it is accessible enough, that the majority of the world can use it like their own loudspeaker. Anyone can broadcast any message to millions of people, and whip them up into a frenzy if the speaker is charismatic enough. Unfortunately, since it's easier, and dare I say it, and even a part of human nature to go to 'us vs. them', we are seeing gaps grow pushing people apart, instead of bringing us together. This divide has been happening and growing for years now.</div>
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Trump is not the catalyst of 'us vs. them', he is the result of it.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for putin" height="266" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/31/Vladimir_Putin_20090128_2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I approve of this message<br /><a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Vladimir_Putin_20090128_2.jpg">https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Vladimir_Putin_20090128_2.jpg</a></td></tr>
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No matter what way you want to look at this, however, I think one thing is clear. It can be a dangerous thing to create divides, and this has been amplified by the current pandemic.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for disappointed" height="640" src="https://storage.needpix.com/rsynced_images/boy-859364_1280.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="480" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ah man! I came here to escape from more COVID-19 talk!<br />https://www.needpix.com/photo/416505/boy-sur-disappointed-black-white-free-pictures-free-photos-free-images-royalty-free-free-illustrations</td></tr>
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Of course half of you are saying that you don't want to hear anymore about Corona talk, and the other half are eating it up, and can't get enough.<div>
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It is truly an awful thing that people are dying over it, but in a weird way it is bringing us together by keeping us apart. In recent memory, I can't think of a time when people all over the world are so united in the fight against something. It effects the rich, the poor, men, women, old and young. Some more than others, obviously, but all somehow. It has mostly agreed upon that the best way to fight it is to #StayTheFuckHome, and to wash your hands while singing. As well as not touching your face. (I'm talking to you, above pictured disappointed black and white boy.)</div>
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And while it is hard for us Canadians to see the sun and warmth peek out from its long winter's slumber, and not head down to the patio for a pint with our friends. We understand that we cannot, for we don't want those same friends to get sick and die. We are disappointed, but we are all disappointed together. The left and the right alike. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for patio beers" src="https://p1.pxfuel.com/preview/698/331/719/beer-bottles-toast-drinks-royalty-free-thumbnail.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">NO BEERS FOR YOU!<br /><a href="https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-oxofn">https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-oxofn</a></td></tr>
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Social Distancing is an easy thing to say, and a hard thing to do. This means of course, we can chose to do the hard thing if we are motivated enough. Maybe we can continue to do the hard thing when this is all said and done. Maybe we can continue to come together instead of spread apart. Maybe we can learn to understand people, instead of pushing them away. Let's learn our lesson from being kept apart. Let's come together.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for group hug" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/1018/1464597658_4e3a188c96_z.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HEY! SOCIAL DISTANCE YOURSELF!<br /><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/klemenz777/1464597658">https://www.flickr.com/photos/klemenz777/1464597658</a></td></tr>
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Stay safe!</div>
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Love Matt<br /><div>
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MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-42408368720096581992014-03-11T21:41:00.000-07:002014-03-11T21:41:02.683-07:00Sick of the gay.Alright, I've had enough... I'm so sick of this gay rights thing. It seems like all I hear about lately is gay marriage, and people getting ostracized for using derogatory homosexual terminology.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiByeCuYPQpTN0vEiWLk-9_2wcyorWkd3eCta63wjB0hx3gVtfAvBm40jagVKl-VzaTB0Ht5yk7X0FtDkuM_BvZAXne2WKOSgjh4IwXg7Rtahg6O6m31O_6aM0W1_SJy6M6yM1aj9-XyawK/s1600/Lesbians.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiByeCuYPQpTN0vEiWLk-9_2wcyorWkd3eCta63wjB0hx3gVtfAvBm40jagVKl-VzaTB0Ht5yk7X0FtDkuM_BvZAXne2WKOSgjh4IwXg7Rtahg6O6m31O_6aM0W1_SJy6M6yM1aj9-XyawK/s1600/Lesbians.jpg" height="320" width="318" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An opening picture of lesbians guarantees blog hits.</td></tr>
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So let's start with gay marriage... It's just plain wrong.<div>
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I am completely opposed to gay marriage, why you ask? It says right in the Bible....</div>
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Men shall not marry men, because... ummm, wait. It doesn't say that? Errr, OK. Well, what the hell?</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My way or the highway!</td></tr>
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As I understand it, and I'm not a Bible scholar by any means, but Leviticus condemns men lying down with men. (It doesn't really talk about marriage.) It also condemns a whole bunch of other things to, like trimming your beard or the hair on the sides of your head or letting your hair get unkempt, wearing mixed blend fabrics, eating seafood without scales, tearing your clothes, and your not allowed to sell your countrymen as slaves. (Feel free to sell foreigners.)</div>
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Also, it's cool with lesbians... It talks about men lying down with men, but women can lie with whoever they want to. Which is why the picture above is totally cool with the Bible.</div>
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What's more, as I understand it, many of the rules set forth in the beginning of the Bible, were specifically designed to keep the Israelites healthy and fruitful. You see back in the days of the Old Testament, they didn't have a lot of medical know how like we have today. In 3400 years from now when we are growing new skin to replace the cancerous cells, they will wonder why we used sunblock, as such, we have to wonder why 3400 years ago they were told not to eat pigs or shellfish. They simply didn't have the refrigeration systems to keep food fresh like we do, and the chance of food spoiling, then you getting sick and dying was much higher.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And no delicious cocktail sauce either....</td></tr>
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The other part of that was a civilization would be more powerful if they had a greater population. This is so they could produce more warriors to defend and take resources, and more labour to help tend the land. (As well as to capture foreigners to help out for rock bottom prices.) So it was crucial for the people to stay healthy and multiply often. </div>
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To that end it kind of makes sense to ensure that every "delivery of DNA fun gravy" was delivered to a waiting woman, so she could do her evil woman magic and make a baby. There were also rules against spilling your seed, and not sleeping with "unclean" women. (Unclean is a un-nice way to say on the rag.) All the rules were designed to ensure a big, happy, population. This is the reason they didn't want men wasting their seed on other men, and that women could happily do whatever they liked.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQpGCdx78XhavmeIu6W-Vm8zk7bshsxeus9zpH0j0yaElWdILxiFDwkqn_TegLPTG1zGcYZvvSdzlbol1rezxlGrHGcRjmSx1V-o-6IGgntCQej-LssBoJORTJWacLYnisYLhjKCfLzofq/s1600/girls-kissing-lesbian-love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQpGCdx78XhavmeIu6W-Vm8zk7bshsxeus9zpH0j0yaElWdILxiFDwkqn_TegLPTG1zGcYZvvSdzlbol1rezxlGrHGcRjmSx1V-o-6IGgntCQej-LssBoJORTJWacLYnisYLhjKCfLzofq/s1600/girls-kissing-lesbian-love.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quick reminder: The rules say 'Totes awesome sauce!'</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hey! Check out my sombrero!</td></tr>
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So if the rules were put in place to keep a specific group of people 3400 years ago healthy and multiplying, one has to wonder why we would still follow the same rules when the population has raised from 7 million to 7 billion! Currently the earth is quite over populated, and sustainability of resources is a major issue. Continuing being fruitful right now will probably lead to a huge Malthus population check. (In essence a famine or disease caused by over population that will kill off enough people so that there's enough resources for everyone. Like the Black Plague.) So if the rules are unhealthy for humanity, it does kind of make sense to disregard them until our population is down to 1/10th its current size.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So lets put those rules aside, I still have to say I'm against gay marriage, and I'll tell you why....</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A while ago I met someone. Upon first meeting him, he appeared to be an effeminate man. I made the assumption that this person was a gay male. It may very well have been my personal bias and stereotypes taking over, but that was the assumption I made.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And you know what happens when you make an assumption right? (Everyone recite the cliche now...)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUtiSz_9E6FEOJzB8fFE9leORb03DTW6_fGrB4n_kxemF4vPWsRFl5_AfN4cv-Ig-s9_G5xNffXJQ0usPvXKukPKq8ceAPR6yU36P4_8f3P1ssm0wqqPqj7OOU25mAmoAueMFty-31UFnd/s1600/ass-out-of-u-and-me.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUtiSz_9E6FEOJzB8fFE9leORb03DTW6_fGrB4n_kxemF4vPWsRFl5_AfN4cv-Ig-s9_G5xNffXJQ0usPvXKukPKq8ceAPR6yU36P4_8f3P1ssm0wqqPqj7OOU25mAmoAueMFty-31UFnd/s1600/ass-out-of-u-and-me.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, you make an ass out of you and mption...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
You form an opinion based on observable data and experience, which you can then test out to ensure accuracy.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
However, it turns out this person was not a gay male after all. This person physical female who was on hormone therapy and living the life of a male. This is considered transgendered because she/he emotionally has a personal sense that they are a male. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
OK, so fine... So this person is transgendered, I can handle that, I'm a man of the world. No judgement. However, I couldn't help but wonder, does that make them gay? So they are physically female, and act like a stereotypical gay man, so maybe he sleeps with other gay men? But wait, since he feels like a man, wouldn't that indeed mean that he should want to sleep with women? But since he's pre-op, and technically physically a female, doesn't that mean that he's a lesbian?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs7d7EaAS0ecyuPjJWAvzdIQB6wplsTKBRGnCDObygDUTGKiD1DnwHQX9Nba5ggtBP8J7YKiXYf2O_nsfhRfkj4xB7p0hGdw7lh707P-LhtfIrJC5yr-kfd87ZMN_-Zsn8zz4yJfX8U4Z2/s1600/confused.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs7d7EaAS0ecyuPjJWAvzdIQB6wplsTKBRGnCDObygDUTGKiD1DnwHQX9Nba5ggtBP8J7YKiXYf2O_nsfhRfkj4xB7p0hGdw7lh707P-LhtfIrJC5yr-kfd87ZMN_-Zsn8zz4yJfX8U4Z2/s1600/confused.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Or I had lice, I'm not sure...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Needless to say, trying to figure it out my head started to spin. This whole situation didn't fit into any of the normalites of my pre-conceived notions of what straight and gay were. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After struggling with this in my own mind, I came to a conclusion... WHO THE HELL CARES!!!! This person seems happy doing what they are doing, so why do I have this stupid desire to label them and put them into a bucket. We are all individuals, and we do whatever we do to get by in our lives. People don't have to be in buckets because buckets separate us. When we are separated we can exclude those of us who don't fit in our little bucket, but there's no determination that one bucket is right or wrong. Providing your not harming anyone, I'm good. Do what you want. Be gay! Be straight! Be mixed! Just be human, or don't... It doesn't matter to me. In fact most people shift on the Kinsey scale throughout their lives. (A recognized rating system between 0-6 determining complete heterosexuality to complete homosexuality) So there's not even a black and white answer. Most people are a little Dusty.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm against gay marriage, because I'm against putting people in buckets. Marriage is marriage regardless of who's involved. If you love someone, and they love you back, and you feel that you want a governmental piece of paper to prove it? Get one. Hell, ask me, I'll do the ceremony. (I'm free on Tuesday nights). Just take the word gay out of it and start seeing everyone as people, not as a sexual preference.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So what about the words gay and all the other term associated with homosexuality? I'm tired of them being used as negative words. I'm taking them back. Just because society sees the straight white male as normality doesn't mean being gay is bad. When you use the word gay, use it as a positive thing...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm gay for ice cream!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm queer for beer!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsG4tuY7gaoH8xhfY18b39cQty5I5ZSXy1kjSjnlnRi_AvTe-1qVaxHp2t4Nw40S1mjNTrjAi9KqmxMPXz430RvrA4onihTQhRJoI4PLBlIBUYxgwtEl2zR3ZSjHOE4xGg501vvZldvdvI/s1600/e410f0739903891b5c07df818722c1a0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsG4tuY7gaoH8xhfY18b39cQty5I5ZSXy1kjSjnlnRi_AvTe-1qVaxHp2t4Nw40S1mjNTrjAi9KqmxMPXz430RvrA4onihTQhRJoI4PLBlIBUYxgwtEl2zR3ZSjHOE4xGg501vvZldvdvI/s1600/e410f0739903891b5c07df818722c1a0.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And I'm a total fag for lesbians!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-35497648011066510442013-12-20T11:09:00.000-08:002013-12-20T11:09:07.142-08:00A Christmas Poem... By Mattie.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi8lvQcYItyV0Vorh1X74LUWclh4ZzVJOHqR1miyFG1b0UUeMMlWgWIB9fvJdnZNU4D7MMYQnCQvTRdAGfQe2d_aJjsrZVBjXGLqstcsM-3aJa_yPc7XF6yiBE37_GufVeeCQeZoSFZxUs/s1600/Santa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi8lvQcYItyV0Vorh1X74LUWclh4ZzVJOHqR1miyFG1b0UUeMMlWgWIB9fvJdnZNU4D7MMYQnCQvTRdAGfQe2d_aJjsrZVBjXGLqstcsM-3aJa_yPc7XF6yiBE37_GufVeeCQeZoSFZxUs/s1600/Santa.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Twas the weekend before Christmas,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So all the children shout...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"We want a PS4!!"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But the stores were all sold out...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Poor Mommy had a headache,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And Daddy was losing hair,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They'd checked at every store,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But PlayStations never there.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Employees shrugged their shoulders,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
when inquired for a reason.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"We should get some more, but who knows when?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I doubt this Christmas season."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They looked online at Best buy,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They scoured the Walmart store.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Of gifts they found a plenty,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But not a PS4.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMS6XxgBvaEkoAgksEeZQ_JCmHnWZ1oPdY5By3SVyvMBOZAgxP2oJMSupX_GP9KxHeHdHjKE5AAaWpwt7Z2BJe-z8XA7Pok8-xbGvt0wAOCrX7hiqpniaOj_ARBCOcZvnzmceEpKAXYagF/s1600/nagging-wife-curlers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMS6XxgBvaEkoAgksEeZQ_JCmHnWZ1oPdY5By3SVyvMBOZAgxP2oJMSupX_GP9KxHeHdHjKE5AAaWpwt7Z2BJe-z8XA7Pok8-xbGvt0wAOCrX7hiqpniaOj_ARBCOcZvnzmceEpKAXYagF/s1600/nagging-wife-curlers.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So Mommy yelled at Daddy...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"This was your only job,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To make our kids quite happy,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To tame this gaming mob.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You had a couple months,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but procrastination has set in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This last minute shopping,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
this time was not a win.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And so this I charge you daddy,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to brighten Christmas day...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You'd better find a PlayStation</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or the lovin' is going away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But what to his wondering eyes should appear?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For sale on Kijiji, a system, quite dear.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSNwlE8G4SXJK5AtTELRTONgyDI3cyWK6g81Va7psDbw_4gwmXfFOTRYKFDNWgldq1ks4RF9z0BS-CvdnV55eCTFGJPrB8wulKXRALsgp6DLx71T-Vfk_WP0hRGH5ZmX0rWI8ichMia59Z/s1600/Santa+money.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSNwlE8G4SXJK5AtTELRTONgyDI3cyWK6g81Va7psDbw_4gwmXfFOTRYKFDNWgldq1ks4RF9z0BS-CvdnV55eCTFGJPrB8wulKXRALsgp6DLx71T-Vfk_WP0hRGH5ZmX0rWI8ichMia59Z/s1600/Santa+money.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The markups were awful, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and the grinches were merry.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
supply and demand </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
made the ransoms all vary.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They were charging much more than they paid in the store.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because they waited on line since a quarter to four.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Their systems they hid, and kept on the seal,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and stored in their closets, to net them a deal.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The visions of dollar signs all danced in their eyes,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but daddy, poor daddy, then had to surmise.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"I'm not going to find one at cost I'm afraid,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'll have to pay more, if I want to get laid."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbb0RoQbJp_eObujqFvi06-AFScub3_zX5HO8bn7x3yscNy8uzsKVpz-Ztht0cSUWIAr30cYfs2IDanuEieGXudbMWnhww7SYNesAN3_HMfFE5URMCVyIxMeUY3MIn5dmFa32_wUiU6ypg/s1600/payday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbb0RoQbJp_eObujqFvi06-AFScub3_zX5HO8bn7x3yscNy8uzsKVpz-Ztht0cSUWIAr30cYfs2IDanuEieGXudbMWnhww7SYNesAN3_HMfFE5URMCVyIxMeUY3MIn5dmFa32_wUiU6ypg/s320/payday.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So he emailed seller,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and made him an offer</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a generous gift </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
which would empty his coffer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The seller replied,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
with a laugh and a sneer...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"You've got to be kidding,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'cause Christmas is here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I sold out 3 days ago, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because my prices were good...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just 300 dollars more </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
than any store would.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So Daddy kept emailing, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the prices went up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This damn gift would break him.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but he wouldn't give up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
His kids, they were worth it,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the smiles on their faces.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He'd be hero of Christmas.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
First Daddy of places.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-K5lF7SqajGsSxx_vOYMRqDs83rYKcCHTLKZdC0N4WekssL9c1R9oJ15dWAqGv77peuRMDefH5KmwQqdfj2-lFPr0GcBucgdc0w9cOgBGFoJEr6J8L7Yy-yFwNlMImTJE3Cvx0MuejzJt/s1600/Daddy+Rejoicing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-K5lF7SqajGsSxx_vOYMRqDs83rYKcCHTLKZdC0N4WekssL9c1R9oJ15dWAqGv77peuRMDefH5KmwQqdfj2-lFPr0GcBucgdc0w9cOgBGFoJEr6J8L7Yy-yFwNlMImTJE3Cvx0MuejzJt/s320/Daddy+Rejoicing.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So he went to the top of the prices here listed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He sent one more email, and prepared to be fisted.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
$5000 dollars was asked, absurd!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but the price was now set for quelling the herd.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The reply it came back, from the devil himself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Of course I can help you, I'm a right Christmas elf!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just meet me with cash, in a back alley, alone...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I promise you, Christmas will be merry in your home."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So Daddy, reluctantly threw on his hat,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
he went to a cash machine, and emptied out that.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He drove to the meeting place, and then looked around.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It was empty, and dark, with nary a sound...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then from behind a dumpster, there stepped a small geek.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He was ugly, and zitty, and no showers for a week.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3-XPv4eg1aNwa2Pz051qURGElqlaaWR5LM4btLogQFDYavZRg-vR_cY8lgxHaY1C3PtqRRGyAuB3IgSJwulCVfCtxrEMMQVbzWHZ5ff1i5xTdR4k1ZH9IQyJPEYVqZgAEx7sYNBErkmrW/s1600/livingathome-300x203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3-XPv4eg1aNwa2Pz051qURGElqlaaWR5LM4btLogQFDYavZRg-vR_cY8lgxHaY1C3PtqRRGyAuB3IgSJwulCVfCtxrEMMQVbzWHZ5ff1i5xTdR4k1ZH9IQyJPEYVqZgAEx7sYNBErkmrW/s1600/livingathome-300x203.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
His voice cracked as he spoke,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
his giggles were crazy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He put out his hand, and his palms were quite hairy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"5000 dollars, and the PlayStation is yours.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To gift as you wish. I'm getting some whores."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So Daddy paid the geek,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and daddy took the box.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And the geek disappeared</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in the shadows like a fox.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And Christmas morning was merry,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and the children laughed with glee.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It was the greatest Christmas gift,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
At least this year, you see...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KK72XmmDXGThkpvAqt9oWEI-vVdSTs9yuDGXDCuxlRwWsEb1FRbH50CgP4DxG1yEZ2pkz78uPNH21dfzg-k3jsa43klukZnNIkOd7xwqhYwhkxXt_yQ7OIBa6KYJQPzPPiKcqeW24Oi3/s1600/best+gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KK72XmmDXGThkpvAqt9oWEI-vVdSTs9yuDGXDCuxlRwWsEb1FRbH50CgP4DxG1yEZ2pkz78uPNH21dfzg-k3jsa43klukZnNIkOd7xwqhYwhkxXt_yQ7OIBa6KYJQPzPPiKcqeW24Oi3/s320/best+gift.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And in his mother’s basement,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the geek, he had to smile.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Merry Christmas to all!" He shouted.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He wasn't very good at rhyming.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis2mQpGMjtM45tcTUTmyYU4e4fhyZ6EV5nn2PIyUKVVHxVxZ8FhcRFtbz26uM6RQ0gnW_5O6_RSiImdAUcd3TsWrdIB7zOs9CixNertBZOOB7k7Icxn7ETpfpEAv4EDyVTZA_CYZ02rFs7/s1600/Merry-Christmas-christmas-465663_1024_768.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis2mQpGMjtM45tcTUTmyYU4e4fhyZ6EV5nn2PIyUKVVHxVxZ8FhcRFtbz26uM6RQ0gnW_5O6_RSiImdAUcd3TsWrdIB7zOs9CixNertBZOOB7k7Icxn7ETpfpEAv4EDyVTZA_CYZ02rFs7/s320/Merry-Christmas-christmas-465663_1024_768.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-29795253910029521312013-11-10T14:02:00.000-08:002013-11-10T14:02:05.105-08:00The White Poppy?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-w58UEldY3jUHZywL-3xRFvAjqYuAp9C9bP2jTakP6Yp792DMobbDfWVFoNoEYiv3iSgArrGDDOnAIF4171wfWPS6jxbnrkL_aDZOiANEY4ud8_xQdGg7AozhzQ7noWPh9tplXS4TSpUV/s1600/flanders-field.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-w58UEldY3jUHZywL-3xRFvAjqYuAp9C9bP2jTakP6Yp792DMobbDfWVFoNoEYiv3iSgArrGDDOnAIF4171wfWPS6jxbnrkL_aDZOiANEY4ud8_xQdGg7AozhzQ7noWPh9tplXS4TSpUV/s320/flanders-field.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lest We Forget</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
In Flanders fields the poppies blow</div>
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Between the crosses, row on row,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That mark our place; and in the sky</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The larks, still bravely singing, fly</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scarce heard amid the guns below.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We are the Dead. Short days ago</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Loved and were loved, and now we lie</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In Flanders fields.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Take up our quarrel with the foe:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To you from failing hands we throw</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The torch; be yours to hold it high.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If ye break faith with us who die</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In Flanders fields.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
- Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Let me start off by saying, this blog is going to anger some people. I'm OK with that, but we do need to remember that whether or not you agree with me, please be respectful to everyone's beliefs, as there is no right answer. There never is. Life is a complicated thing, with many shades of right and wrong. People on the other side of the issue believe what they do with just as much passion as you do. The only difference is how you look at it, and the experience that shapes your beliefs. </div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
Recently, there's been quite a bit of controversy lately regarding the white poppy. <a href="http://www.torontosun.com/2013/11/04/students-dont-care-if--white-poppy-offends-vets" target="_blank">The Toronto Sun</a> has been leading the charge against a group of students, primarily from the University of Ottawa, who will be wearing white poppies for Remembrance Day. </div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsvaeuBWKxQIWHlAY2aslLDaclW_JyZ7xjCWnSsU2ezgmsxCbNwH21h0ciyetY0zXw2CJaJkyQeStbfz_xKKGhafO8bl3KTf32CdL8oprsssEvRvEr5QpTly8n0tb_93ZyksNCeZPEBbN/s1600/white+poppy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsvaeuBWKxQIWHlAY2aslLDaclW_JyZ7xjCWnSsU2ezgmsxCbNwH21h0ciyetY0zXw2CJaJkyQeStbfz_xKKGhafO8bl3KTf32CdL8oprsssEvRvEr5QpTly8n0tb_93ZyksNCeZPEBbN/s320/white+poppy.jpg" width="264" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The controversial pin.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They say that the white poppy is a symbol of peace, which is rather obvious according to this picture. Also this direct quote in the Toronto Sun paints a picture as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>"Young people don't want to celebrate war," Celyn Dufay of the University of Ottawa said. "We want to work for peace."</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The direct implication of this quote seems to tell us that wearing a white poppy means you are for peace, while of course wearing a red poppy means you celebrate war.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
Now I'm going to come right out and say it. I don't trust newspapers, or most mainstream news sources. They are in the business of selling newspapers, not reporting unbiased accounts of what's going on. If you can print something that makes people angry, then their passions arise, and they talk about it. The suns account is very one sided, painting Dufay as an insensitive jerk, who throws his symbol in the face of veterans and flips the bird to the people who laid down their lives.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpMKm1B4BemcjqIhqY-IwVf1SiazJIcZKNVJTgU0gXN0KcWxfWgEz1SRMFzxgpjLDHFIIVnotwD6ySWgu4aiqmBAs8uqiIjlqoQ5QKxAOBmuvdGYRwh2Jibt7rta7HtdbjQ_TzW5E1j20p/s1600/news+white+poppy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpMKm1B4BemcjqIhqY-IwVf1SiazJIcZKNVJTgU0gXN0KcWxfWgEz1SRMFzxgpjLDHFIIVnotwD6ySWgu4aiqmBAs8uqiIjlqoQ5QKxAOBmuvdGYRwh2Jibt7rta7HtdbjQ_TzW5E1j20p/s640/news+white+poppy.png" width="489" /></a>Needless to say, their story has worked. Google is full of stories of insensitive hippies, and their disrespect of the sacred. On Facebook and Twitter there are a plethora of thoughts and comments full of rage and indignation that anyone might dare suggest that their time honoured traditions should support war. There have been threats to punch those who might wear a white poppy. (How's that for irony.)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
What's more after reading the article I felt personally offended. The red poppy is not a symbol which celebrates war, it is a symbol which reminds us to reflect upon those that gave their lives so that we may live in a free world. Disrespect of those who made the ultimate sacrifice so people they would never meet could live their lives in peace is such a slap in the face, it hurts. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Of course it's that freedom that was fought for that gives them the right to choose to wear a white poppy, so while I disagree with their message, I fully support their right to wear it. In fact I agree with it so much, that I would defend that right should anyone say that they couldn't. </div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuYinmne3TRDSmOqO2Q6Jf-NJLCq47vDzGkXfLJJ41_ynENa_1g-mcsvMMpwmH0yeu7yus0L3SkPKaVHGGnO6p-ffViG1SmjsXIIAuuDHXIdfHgdcjWldkzJHw6tnGZB85z4zAOm0Bi_Wp/s1600/Peace_button_large.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuYinmne3TRDSmOqO2Q6Jf-NJLCq47vDzGkXfLJJ41_ynENa_1g-mcsvMMpwmH0yeu7yus0L3SkPKaVHGGnO6p-ffViG1SmjsXIIAuuDHXIdfHgdcjWldkzJHw6tnGZB85z4zAOm0Bi_Wp/s320/Peace_button_large.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Give peace a chance</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But let's stop for a moment, and take a look at the other side of the issue. What really is a white poppy. It certainly wasn't invented by this U of Ottawa student as a way to attack veterans. The white poppy has been a symbol for those that have wished for peace since 1933. While there has always been a lot of us or them sentiment between the red and white poppy, the intent was never to be exclusive. Where the red poppy was meant to honour the fallen hero's, the white poppy was created to symbolize the hope and wish that war wouldn't happen anymore. </div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
They were a sometimes worn separately, but the were also worn together as well. Most people understand that war is sometimes a necessary evil, and the desire to be free of war is the goal of citizens and soldiers alike. No soldier wants to be in a war, they do it because they feel it's their civic duty. They do it because they want to protect freedom. They do it because they feel they have to protect society from evil. (Evil is also not a definite term, but a side of an individual belief.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMq2L41GdfkfYEL8X5XtBS7WQsQk4vI7hyphenhyphen5VoVd4xsrS87pwQj4Prujn0OqhxErqMOPEh4oT4kte8fop-5riEmsNKIe2gkDJG3OmLbIsuvdsa9o8cDZE-3tieBbS8bIHz5R0vGPz69S9RW/s1600/veteran.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMq2L41GdfkfYEL8X5XtBS7WQsQk4vI7hyphenhyphen5VoVd4xsrS87pwQj4Prujn0OqhxErqMOPEh4oT4kte8fop-5riEmsNKIe2gkDJG3OmLbIsuvdsa9o8cDZE-3tieBbS8bIHz5R0vGPz69S9RW/s320/veteran.jpg" width="320" /></a>I guess the thing to remember is this... Peace as an ideal that we would all love to achieve, unfortunately, as long as there are people in the world who have different ideals than you, and who are willing to fight to enforce those beliefs, than the need to defend ones self and country are necessary. Peace can sometimes be negotiated, but sometimes, it needs to be fought for. Sometimes it has to be sacrificed for. Sometimes, there is no other choice. When that time comes, you need people that not only are willing to fight, but willing to die. These people don't want to die, and they don't want to kill. They don't celebrate war. They tolerate it. They hate it. They watch it take their friends, and their families, but yet they still give and give. The ones who survive it will never be the same. They deserve our respect, regardless if you respect war or not. That's what the red poppy is all about, to remember those who sacrificed for you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So if you see someone wearing a white poppy on remembrance day, it's OK. They may be misguided, or they may not understand why you choose red. Smile at them and offer them a red poppy, and remind them sometimes it takes tens of thousands of red poppies to achieve a white one.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5HScjmi4qGe8fw3LcaxixZW9hUAMTd1yVZaOL3x4pNtyn8U_PfKy1WdkZEorWysFlKQgcxoQc2RXswq1W-zDLFRUhyphenhyphenGmSK_VVVeWt3rC3feouY5YePu2ecs9RKR9pvfezuKQHPIbnBmT9/s1600/red-poppy-field-one-white-poppy-6374299.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5HScjmi4qGe8fw3LcaxixZW9hUAMTd1yVZaOL3x4pNtyn8U_PfKy1WdkZEorWysFlKQgcxoQc2RXswq1W-zDLFRUhyphenhyphenGmSK_VVVeWt3rC3feouY5YePu2ecs9RKR9pvfezuKQHPIbnBmT9/s1600/red-poppy-field-one-white-poppy-6374299.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanks grandpas, and all the others who fought to let me express these thoughts.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-8878691903742167142013-10-07T22:03:00.001-07:002013-10-07T22:07:58.543-07:00The Tragedy That is Axl RoseSo when I asked my fans (read Facebook friends) what my next blog should be about, The wussification of Kids or The Tragedy That is Axl Rose, wussification won hands down. It even seems that poor Axl had a few haters...<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56PQckPwOLYGIP4Tt2i4CVBXFxHIMUV9dyVzzTGOsvg2oeFc9E1Mmp4Y3pHR9z0Gk5ztKUtH5J07CHHNDwJcvxx5j7sWoLs-3Sdn0Ql17Sm_rzvS_mLC8d_zWNgjvnUWJWhPvDyvwDwba/s1600/guns_n_roses_sexy_girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56PQckPwOLYGIP4Tt2i4CVBXFxHIMUV9dyVzzTGOsvg2oeFc9E1Mmp4Y3pHR9z0Gk5ztKUtH5J07CHHNDwJcvxx5j7sWoLs-3Sdn0Ql17Sm_rzvS_mLC8d_zWNgjvnUWJWhPvDyvwDwba/s320/guns_n_roses_sexy_girl.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This girl hates him so much, she has chosen to wear the shirt ironically.<br />
What a hipster!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I quote...<br />
<br />
"Has to be the children, the other doesn't exist."<br />
<br />
"The wussification of children causes them to....turn out like Axl Rose! Parents everywhere are looking for a cure!"<br />
<br />
"How Axl Rose has contributed to the wussification of children."<br />
<br />
Poor Axl doesn't have a lot of fans left... And while some might argue that he is a spoiled brat that brought a close to rock as we know it. Let us take a step back, and look at the pure tragedy that is Axl Rose, and while he might not deserve our sympathy, nor certainly very few could empathize with the man, his life is a tragedy that Shakespeare himself might have a hard time envisioning.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq4NS4MKRYrHz6Xe2YhuRLHVlCKn-G9zFdeLGCtrg3AhQNihS1XATfwVSQutCIcGAbRGxVgpUTLg3ZopkmYzyVmtST9uWHD8gEZV9F4YeHDZdayY_RnMvS53RfkEHT6W48UETmoz5iWeJd/s1600/Guns+and+Roses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq4NS4MKRYrHz6Xe2YhuRLHVlCKn-G9zFdeLGCtrg3AhQNihS1XATfwVSQutCIcGAbRGxVgpUTLg3ZopkmYzyVmtST9uWHD8gEZV9F4YeHDZdayY_RnMvS53RfkEHT6W48UETmoz5iWeJd/s320/Guns+and+Roses.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The faces and perms of rock n' roll</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Let me set the stage for our story... The year is 1992, the 80's now over, and hair bands are on a steady decline from their hard rocking, makeup wearing heyday. In the pop world the New Kids on the Block are at their apex, along with Marky Mark and Vanilla Ice. (That is to say, bands which the average rocker would rather eat a shotgun rather than listen to for more than 3 minutes.) While there are a few young bands getting their starts in Seattle, they hadn't really made waves to the mainstream. Their glory days would be still upcoming. That left very few options for those who enjoyed something a little more powerful on the rock side of the world. While they certainly weren't the only good band at the time, the genre more or less belonged to the Californian rock band named Guns N' Roses and their eccentric lead singer Axl Rose. <br />
<br />
Their albums in the 80's were HUGE! "Appetite for Destruction" is still the number one debut album in the U.S. of all time, and holds up well. At the time, their current offerings, the "Use Your Illusion" albums, were at the top of the charts for months, and pretty much everyone had a copy, or at least knew someone who did. The upcoming concert tour with Metallica/Guns N' Roses was arguably the biggest thing going at the time. They rocked hard, partied hard, and so did their fans. They literally caused riots all over North America. Axl was an international sex symbol, and infamous for his 'bad boy' temper tantrums. He played by his own rules, and was loved and hated for it. They were steamrolling their way through the music industry, top of their game and they showed no signs of stopping.<br />
<br />
Now, let's take a break for a second...<br />
<br />
I need to define something here...<br />
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnWeRIhccnfdRYoTBAgmHm1UOVXaYgCJCf3oztGT-AQM8DVDZ4jehKdA5HcjT66ca1vSseeQUnN8k0eg9vdN2_kWPkNpQ4rVGPTTvBhTSrHP6O3juFBQirqldaU-U-cGOafUiqCpfRzPf/s1600/my-god-rocks-guitar-jesus.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnWeRIhccnfdRYoTBAgmHm1UOVXaYgCJCf3oztGT-AQM8DVDZ4jehKdA5HcjT66ca1vSseeQUnN8k0eg9vdN2_kWPkNpQ4rVGPTTvBhTSrHP6O3juFBQirqldaU-U-cGOafUiqCpfRzPf/s320/my-god-rocks-guitar-jesus.png" width="319" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And God said 'Let there be rock', and it was good.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Rock god(s) - The rare musicians whose music, attitude, showmanship define and transcend their generation. They are held in the highest esteem by critics, the public, and fellow musicians alike, and inspire those that follow to greater heights. They are beyond reproach, and can put out decades of mediocre music after their masterpieces have been released, and still maintain their respect and 'coolness'. Their music will never die.<br />
<br />
Now, I'm sure you can all think of a few of these folks. Jimi Hendrix, Buddy Holly, John Bonhom, Janice Joplin, Bob Marley, Jim Morrison, Freddie Mercury, Tupac Shakur and of course Kurt Cobain (who reportedly was listening to New Kids on the Block and the time of his death. (citation needed)).<br />
<br />
Now you might notice that all these people are dead. Most of them died in their prime, were mourned by all and declared geniuses by those who grieved their passing, and wept for the potential music that we would never hear. When you think about it, it's a pretty exclusive list to be included on, the cream of the crop if you will. (Also I know, I didn't name them all, don't get pissy if I missed your favourite.)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOMQwDcdIjgmjaikqSbIaBN8kmK9PB8RZQkGu7ejyZv41bgJB3VKno4KrRI3D5zROaFpCzKvX1OIexXzRqzsvmyI2oZ_HKhoz7-yQHecTwziJ4_NAWMxmSHijG0a258KV-yZllksIDhwJZ/s1600/Vanilla+Ice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOMQwDcdIjgmjaikqSbIaBN8kmK9PB8RZQkGu7ejyZv41bgJB3VKno4KrRI3D5zROaFpCzKvX1OIexXzRqzsvmyI2oZ_HKhoz7-yQHecTwziJ4_NAWMxmSHijG0a258KV-yZllksIDhwJZ/s320/Vanilla+Ice.jpg" width="186" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rarer than current non-ironic Vanilla Ice fans.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But there is one more group in music, which is even more exclusive than this. One that is so rare that only a handful of people have ever attained it. It is the holy grail of every musician. That is to be the living rock god. <br />
<br />
Off the top of my head, I can think of very few... Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney, Elton John, Chuck Berry, Angus Young, Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, and maybe Ozzy. We could also include John Lennon and Elvis in this list, although they are gone now, they lived to see they status of rock gods for a time.<br />
<br />
Having said that, there are in comparison many rock legends out there, hell we could even say that Axl is amoungst them, but the living rock gods are the rarest of the rare, and practically an unattainable goal.<br />
<br />
However, in the summer of 1992 the young band from California was staring the possibility of obtaining the highest plateau of rock in the face, and all signs pointed to that they couldn't miss. Leading the charge was Axl himself. This privliged young firecracker, whined and complained, threw temper tantrums, walked off the stage pouting, causing riots, and made his fans love him even more. His stardom was blowing up faster than anyone could ever imagine, and he rode the wave of rock on a surfboard made from drugs, booze, ego, and loose chicks on his way to rock and roll divination.<br />
<br />
Then this happened...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmVPXmPxEfII4fU8UGKqg1il30adRwfx3bOuJWPp_u3UwUv-pdGyx8nAibIS2Yt10epzOkgbB6ciIZODbPw22r8QmTglMy39qRpkO_JtRBfs8EKqkqn-JEeL3Ff51eSE_xB9eTVk0T6ln0/s1600/spaghetti+incident.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmVPXmPxEfII4fU8UGKqg1il30adRwfx3bOuJWPp_u3UwUv-pdGyx8nAibIS2Yt10epzOkgbB6ciIZODbPw22r8QmTglMy39qRpkO_JtRBfs8EKqkqn-JEeL3Ff51eSE_xB9eTVk0T6ln0/s320/spaghetti+incident.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Worst. Album. Ever.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Guns N' Roses put out their follow up to the "Use Your Illusion" albums called "The Spaghetti Incident?" and their seemingly unstoppable momentum stopped. Just like that it was over. The album was unimaginably a disc full of covers, which for a band as big as this was inconceivable. (And yes, it does mean what I think it means.) What's worse, is that the covers were BAD covers of songs that rock fans loved. This flop of an album may have been able to be weathered by the band in some circumstances, and possibly even a follow up comeback could have been conceivable, but unfortunately for GN'R, the release coincided with the break-out of a new genre of music which aimed directly at Axl's demographic. Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and Sir-Mix-A-Lot's new grunge sound scooped away all of Axl's fans, and more importantly, what should have been the next generation of Axl fans.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji25-vgE04FlzvH2iyPskIClOd-vcwZmacpukgSP4ZJCQNE8RPS0G4yqTI4uJpmfohdBTWitzsZEXPfT1W4F0O8h59lNkeK7sYo1VcvEbKKU2NJ91vq4jy1hDKEm5_y-y4JrIsy4RPfN0W/s1600/beavis-fighting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji25-vgE04FlzvH2iyPskIClOd-vcwZmacpukgSP4ZJCQNE8RPS0G4yqTI4uJpmfohdBTWitzsZEXPfT1W4F0O8h59lNkeK7sYo1VcvEbKKU2NJ91vq4jy1hDKEm5_y-y4JrIsy4RPfN0W/s320/beavis-fighting.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Artist's representation of GN'R in the mid nineties.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The timing of the of this couldn't be worse. Being on top of the world, and flopping badly is bad enough, but to have never experienced failure as a band, to be told you were the best by everyone, and to have such a huge ego, created what the public could only describe as an epic implosion. The band publicly ripped each other. Everyone blamed everyone else. Temper tantrums were thrown. The band broke up and what was once a paragon or rock and roll rebellion disintegrated into ongoing joke fuel that was a late night talk show host's wet dream.<br />
<br />
It was really that bad.<br />
<br />
When all was said and done, Axl took his ball (the rights to the name Guns N' Roses), and went home. That was the end of one of the biggest bands of the late 80's and early 90's. Axl of course has tried to recreate it with new band members, as has the rest of the band without Axl; however the results have comeback with a resounding unremarkable.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZdWSqI0cpsrOvPZHa-BBJOZ_UJe82Xp-WEpMlyp91IJwe9QRNmcD-r_NMrGkaXzRjyDGogFLmD7bFNx4q0ScGrR3wWPmRh-9baq_nFbb6ukzePrl9V63431Jo0tidN9HLzIJYadd4n_W/s1600/tragedy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZdWSqI0cpsrOvPZHa-BBJOZ_UJe82Xp-WEpMlyp91IJwe9QRNmcD-r_NMrGkaXzRjyDGogFLmD7bFNx4q0ScGrR3wWPmRh-9baq_nFbb6ukzePrl9V63431Jo0tidN9HLzIJYadd4n_W/s320/tragedy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Images for representation of tragedy on Google suck.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So back to tragedy... The resounding opinion about Axl Rose is that he is an whiny ego-maniac asshole, who got exactly what he deserved. Remember however, I'm not asking you to feel bad for Axl, but to recognize his life as tragic. To me, one of the worst things that can happen to a person is to come with micrometers of your dreams, and to have them pulled away. To be able to smell, taste, feel them brush your finger tips as you stretch to grab them, and then to watch them fall away... That is tragedy. <br />
<br />
Think about this, if someone offered you to be able to taste the most amazing flavour in the world once and only once, with the knowledge that you could never taste it again, would you take it? Consider, after tasting that, you know nothing you taste would ever come close to as good again. Every flavour you now love would be spoiled by the memory of that one perfect flavour, and it would all pale by comparison. As the memory of that exquisite taste faded, you would forever be haunted, searching and trying to attain that again and again, knowing that it is impossible. That is a sad thought indeed, but at least you got to try the flavour.... Now imagine, if you made the agreement and then as you went to taste it, the sensation was pulled away from you as it approached your waiting tongue, and the essence of it's smell touched your taste buds, allowing the knowledge of the flavour without the pleasure of experience. That, my friend, is tragedy.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-3gyBDiXDq0dhc2uWEe8U-bNbjCl588EanYAdfNVAt0blarljbeH5Ygm7vKnd2LLfJwDLN0BRPdI-GmMiretG7-WU3rHgQ-rv3zo1d_6iPxMfuxtlUFPsQFtYS-MEd4i8gwQrus5GtBV/s1600/axl-rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-3gyBDiXDq0dhc2uWEe8U-bNbjCl588EanYAdfNVAt0blarljbeH5Ygm7vKnd2LLfJwDLN0BRPdI-GmMiretG7-WU3rHgQ-rv3zo1d_6iPxMfuxtlUFPsQFtYS-MEd4i8gwQrus5GtBV/s320/axl-rose.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Axl Rose then....</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I'm not saying that Axl didn't have a fun ride up. I'm not saying that his life wasn't way more fun and reckless than most of us dare imagine. I'm also not saying that most musicians wouldn't give everything they had just to taste a fraction of Axl's experience. What I'm saying is that Axl had the possibility of being a living rock god in his reach and he dropped it. It brushed his fingertips, he smelt it's perfume, it may even of grabbed his ass, but then it disappeared. It left only it's trace memory that Axl knows he can never attain, and he has to live the rest of his life in that knowledge.<br />
<br />
The sad truth is, if Axl had died in 1992, he WOULD be a rock god right now. It's unquestionable. He didn't, and that ship has sailed. Now the only thing Axl is, and can ever be is a tragic figure, destroyed by a life of excess, only ever wondering what could have been.<br />
<div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN6jahFp0SoJeyqpZpP-OjGAZkGknKwA3aCZYPNPyBCyJE2J0gV_15fRbT-77uVSNSIFRXe5g8g5d04u8QtQH7Or6JO4HTADJcwmUNRdVj1ZlXknF_E6nLwaJJsnfz_YfV-ys0hs7ofpXI/s1600/Fat-Axl-Rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN6jahFp0SoJeyqpZpP-OjGAZkGknKwA3aCZYPNPyBCyJE2J0gV_15fRbT-77uVSNSIFRXe5g8g5d04u8QtQH7Or6JO4HTADJcwmUNRdVj1ZlXknF_E6nLwaJJsnfz_YfV-ys0hs7ofpXI/s320/Fat-Axl-Rose.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now he takes solace in pie...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
If you're interested on why Guns N' Roses crashed so hard, have a listen to this take by Jim Breuer... <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGy_obJa_JQ">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGy_obJa_JQ</a>. It's hilarious, and bang on money with what happened.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-18579713373813520012013-09-01T19:30:00.000-07:002013-09-01T19:34:26.706-07:00The Wussification of Our ChildrenSo the other day, my youngest daughter, who was 4 years old at the time, asked me "Daddy? Can we watch Star Wars?"<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ogtIxXplCnd1men3f2eTbbB2njlvqJWUMTc5eHO5PX5505hbh2Rq2Uqn0CcHIDde-AhZ_uoLMu2cEB5NZ15rkt_g2g_CnQXugS6IQ1EU-fOFY9ObS5xPs-WSWtB-cDEvBt1n7s82uAzD/s1600/ProudDadBallCap1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ogtIxXplCnd1men3f2eTbbB2njlvqJWUMTc5eHO5PX5505hbh2Rq2Uqn0CcHIDde-AhZ_uoLMu2cEB5NZ15rkt_g2g_CnQXugS6IQ1EU-fOFY9ObS5xPs-WSWtB-cDEvBt1n7s82uAzD/s320/ProudDadBallCap1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My pride outweighs any witty caption.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My chest swelled with pride, and I lovingly pulled the blu-ray from it's sheathe and slid it into the player. My daughter giggled with excitement as the icon 20th Century Fox played it's fanfare, and then went deathly quiet for those 2 seconds letting your heart flutter in anticipation.<br />
<br />
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, and then.... POW! The trumpets sounded, John Williams masterpiece over whelmed the room from my speakers, and the Star Wars logo flared upon my screen! We both cheered at the sheer awesomeness of the moment. A warm tingly shiver ran down my spine as the yellow words scrolled across the screen, and I explained to my daughter, that the film was actually called Star Wars, not a "A New Hope", but we should enjoy it for what it is. There would be time for arguments of the validity of Han shooting first at another time.<br />
<br />
This was one of those moments in life which should be treasured for all time.<br />
<br />
As the Imperial Star Destroyer roared across the screen, I held my daughter tight in an embrace... Storm Troopers shot rebels, droids ran through lasers, Darth entered, ominously yet grandly and then choked the captain of Leia's cruiser. The droids jumped into the escape pod, and those stupid imperial officers decided not to shoot it. (If they had, the whole series would have been solved. Emperor wins.) As I pointed this out to my daughter, I noticed she wasn't nearly as excited as she was 5 minutes ago... In fact she looked downright bored.<br />
<br />
She looked at me and said... "Daddy! I wanted to watch ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS! Let's watch 'Finding Nemo' instead."<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBVNfxRJHjAKtBsIxMN162-rUGZB06m0fpo8gsK0GObr2pnr7TAsYPceUmBG5bYjsp6lhZnrZHdQA9l43Da5A84Ofq5JGoe-GBQ1nX3D0AgiV1ucjdrZaDh-eTIzaxJAahyKOB8C0I7ExX/s1600/angry-birds-star-wars-final.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBVNfxRJHjAKtBsIxMN162-rUGZB06m0fpo8gsK0GObr2pnr7TAsYPceUmBG5bYjsp6lhZnrZHdQA9l43Da5A84Ofq5JGoe-GBQ1nX3D0AgiV1ucjdrZaDh-eTIzaxJAahyKOB8C0I7ExX/s320/angry-birds-star-wars-final.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is not the Star Wars you are looking for.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I thought unhappily to myself, that marketing wins again as I switched off the 70's epic tale, for Disney's cute fish for the millionth time. If nothing else, it makes a good story. I decided to tell my folks the tale of disappointment and shame, but as I launched into my diatribe of how today's children don't appreciate anything that can't be launched as a dollar app, I stopped and looked at their faces. They were looking at me in complete disbelief and disappointment.<br />
<br />
"You let our 4 year old granddaughter watch Star Wars?"<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_OdqXpNOvft6iHAmuCqZfQDCznzfpjYW1aTBSWQfovQMVvyzXIGGNWZ9yNCXwxT1o6WMgpFYrnI5rW-V85MKm1xSQcssw9O_XecAKDcOE-tx2YToSkAv8WrQoBXXLqhFzCS8rK76WS7vV/s1600/vader+cuts+off+the+hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_OdqXpNOvft6iHAmuCqZfQDCznzfpjYW1aTBSWQfovQMVvyzXIGGNWZ9yNCXwxT1o6WMgpFYrnI5rW-V85MKm1xSQcssw9O_XecAKDcOE-tx2YToSkAv8WrQoBXXLqhFzCS8rK76WS7vV/s320/vader+cuts+off+the+hand.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darth Vader is now the second worst father of all time.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I stopped to consider... There's a lot of killing, violence, and pure evilness in Star Wars. Not to mention incest and worst of all Jar Jar Binks... I was a bad dad. How could I expose my poor sweet innocent child to this.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hold on a second though... When Star Wars came out in 1977, I was 3 maybe 4 at best. My parents took me to see it 8 times! (Mind you, I think I slept through it most of the time.) When I pointed this out to my parents, they were taken aback. Indeed they had corrupted me with the evil film, and I turned out... Well, I can't say normal, but my shrink thinks I'm getting better.</div>
<div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYwRtMRLDf5IEEJkQx1_sh-TPVviUp6mLNYkrLnH8E6yQJrwSFMSVwAA3Jv7lFEfRLS4ijO2xLVFtljSk0C7cfQ92Qvhsioam-xt3ONdVm9lR8yrPK6ViHAeBjHlypkiKrCcV7SX8RiBRf/s1600/suspicious+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYwRtMRLDf5IEEJkQx1_sh-TPVviUp6mLNYkrLnH8E6yQJrwSFMSVwAA3Jv7lFEfRLS4ijO2xLVFtljSk0C7cfQ92Qvhsioam-xt3ONdVm9lR8yrPK6ViHAeBjHlypkiKrCcV7SX8RiBRf/s320/suspicious+face.jpg" width="286" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You do monitor your kids don't you?!?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
It got me to thinking though, why do we shelter our children so much? Society in general tells us that our kids are precious snowflakes which must be protected at all costs. We put them in helmets when they ride their bikes, we diligently monitor everything they watch, their friends, their teachers, their very lives! We as parents know that if you let your child experience life in any non sheltered way, you are subject to arrest. In fact,<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/mom-sues-polices-she-arrested-letting-her-kids-134628018.html"> this mom was arrested and incarcerated for 18 hours for the crime of letting her kids play outside, while she was supervising them!</a> Keep your kids inside parents, exposure to fresh air and sun is punishable. They might get a sunburn. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But why on earth do we think our kids our so damn fragile? Why do we believe they will be mentally scarred for life if they are scared by anything worse than their own shadow. We let our children believe that the universe is rainbows and lollipops, and that bad things only happen to bad people. Any semblance of freedom will surely lead to their abduction, or worse, to them hurting their feelings and becoming an antisocial member of society!<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC8_JcroCJV9k8wPFf5CsRWKVmAleYY_EHocWDtTYrc8K1Snjm8ky0FLFU0C6Fl2iRfXCj5NHVkUFY2bf7QdaXOFTypZHuvB58EzR0h4ICrFD7t0Q1Xcsk0SFE3qMsZJ0g6s-4vVrCDVoE/s1600/bored.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC8_JcroCJV9k8wPFf5CsRWKVmAleYY_EHocWDtTYrc8K1Snjm8ky0FLFU0C6Fl2iRfXCj5NHVkUFY2bf7QdaXOFTypZHuvB58EzR0h4ICrFD7t0Q1Xcsk0SFE3qMsZJ0g6s-4vVrCDVoE/s1600/bored.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah Matt, we heard this before. <br />
I'm lazy already.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Now what most of you are thinking right now is that I'm going to launch on one of my diatribes on how the latest generation are also bunch of wussies like I have on more than a few blogs before. This however goes beyond that. It's not just the latest generation which has been wussified, it is our entire society. The kids, the parents, the grandparents, everyone. (Please note that I am Canadian, and write ethnocentrically. If this blog does not apply, feel free to read a different blog, featuring <a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.ca/2012_08_01_archive.html" target="_blank">BOOBS!</a>)<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA5SZHq3ETnO3OoOQC6HPlAnx3CD8qIKKSn5LiLT2IKkmwZOk09FPn9PauamCnwD7x6Qn-Tg_7Zra_VcCMK0g3aDf1ymIBIBtGyEJ7Rg1-DNgKSh2aSE0CHyJ8ifimbPaEqLSgx7tSmgvg/s1600/gladiator.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA5SZHq3ETnO3OoOQC6HPlAnx3CD8qIKKSn5LiLT2IKkmwZOk09FPn9PauamCnwD7x6Qn-Tg_7Zra_VcCMK0g3aDf1ymIBIBtGyEJ7Rg1-DNgKSh2aSE0CHyJ8ifimbPaEqLSgx7tSmgvg/s400/gladiator.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YOU STOLE THE COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR!<br />
WHO ME?<br />
YES YOU!<br />
COULDN'T BE!<br />
<STAB></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
A friend of mine recently pointed out to me that back in Roman times they used bring the whole whole family on down to the local arena to enjoy some good man on man slaughter for entertainment. It wasn't all fighting though... there was exotic animals for the kids. You know like lions and tigers eating slaves for snacks. Good old fashioned family entertainment. I'm pretty sure that all of Rome didn't turn out to be serial killers. I'm also pretty sure that they didn't all become nonfunctional members of society unable to maintain meaningful daily routine. As a matter of fact, they became a dominant player in the world, and were able to create, conquer, and make a name for themselves as one of the most important civilizations of all time.<br />
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHxdlnkaXApMXoyeo15T2KffpWpIBeJY-VyYclg004q_Q6YNH1Uyw_zWldR4A31wltKwiNUV9WcRs8U_r4JlrETvWZu9Bbql7x1QGntAFLUKFYFoAcVxsKxjPjgz1orB3WT04JyAlKqfn/s1600/hockey-fight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHxdlnkaXApMXoyeo15T2KffpWpIBeJY-VyYclg004q_Q6YNH1Uyw_zWldR4A31wltKwiNUV9WcRs8U_r4JlrETvWZu9Bbql7x1QGntAFLUKFYFoAcVxsKxjPjgz1orB3WT04JyAlKqfn/s320/hockey-fight.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A game of skill and finesse...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But that's not fair, you might argue. You can't compare our society to theirs. They were barbaric butchers, bludgeoning their way through life. Where we live, we wouldn't stand for that. We are civilized people who abhor violence, where they celebrated conquering their neighbours. Canadians exist peacefully with the world, and have a human rights record which is unmatched. Democracy exists to give everyone the right to their say, where they lived under a system of tyranny, in which killing was the only means of survival. Our entertainment is a of a more civilized ilk.<br />
<br />
It is very true that while our societies differ considerably, the fact remains that through out history there are numerous examples of kids being exposed to things that would make toughest of the adults in our society horrified. In Athens, the birth place of democracy, relationships between grown men and young boys were common. Their neighbours in Sparta taught their kids to be able to fight or die at ages where we won't let our kids hold a butter knife. All over the world, killing people was like pay-per-view entertainment. France and their guillotine, Witch burnings in Salem. Even right here in Hamilton less than two hundred years ago, taking the kids to see a drawing and quartering was considered a nice picnic atmosphere. (<a href="http://www.hamilton.ca/CultureandRecreation/Arts_Culture_And_Museums/HamiltonCivicMuseums/Fieldcote/FieldcoteWarOf1812.htm" target="_blank">Read about the Bloody Assize</a>)<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSkgvCEn87NIz3A0KTaoIfOCin3C6E-pkkNOXD6pyxmCSgaQ5QIcX5AQIgGYIEkqh9l9fy0qD2of1yWlhUe_WJSArpjFQpqI9pUicjHEZ_dw2_j6bfN3xWw8swWicEMPBzJD5JQbSDrOhJ/s1600/ass+size.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSkgvCEn87NIz3A0KTaoIfOCin3C6E-pkkNOXD6pyxmCSgaQ5QIcX5AQIgGYIEkqh9l9fy0qD2of1yWlhUe_WJSArpjFQpqI9pUicjHEZ_dw2_j6bfN3xWw8swWicEMPBzJD5JQbSDrOhJ/s320/ass+size.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tee hee hee, Ass Size....</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The truth is all societies have to adapt their attitudes around their needs. If your civilization in constantly under the threat of being attacked ruthlessly by their enemies, then it behooves it to introduce their youth to violence at an early age. This allows them to more effectively defend themselves and survive, and even dominate other societies. Our schools teach us how to learn things which are fun, but ultimately useless. (Except math of course, I still use that, mostly to help my kids with their homework.) <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeD057SP2dBzQNmJ2VT2Wz6St3nULoXEtOSivFXmjeXrDE88qB5FBhRL4of8KG53epnEfL2cBPJmYz1_rAXquyXrXRCaQsxPH60YRX7JiaYQmNfQakvWLtagdK-60sKJ-KtbRKXEtVfkcJ/s1600/dinosaurs.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeD057SP2dBzQNmJ2VT2Wz6St3nULoXEtOSivFXmjeXrDE88qB5FBhRL4of8KG53epnEfL2cBPJmYz1_rAXquyXrXRCaQsxPH60YRX7JiaYQmNfQakvWLtagdK-60sKJ-KtbRKXEtVfkcJ/s400/dinosaurs.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We learned about dinosaurs,<br />
They learned how to kill a man three ways with a paperclip.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
We find this barbaric because we haven't grown up having to deal with self-defense. Morals are dictated but societal needs, and not by anything else. That's why kids in history have been treated like the adults we are today. That's also why adults today act like the youth of history. Kids, like all humans can adapt to their societies needs, and what's more can do so more pliably than most adults can.<br />
<br />
So the answer is this... We treat our kids like precious snowflakes because we don't need to make them grow up. It's not their fault if they turn into wussies who can't fail at anything because they haven't been taught how. It's ours. Competition has become a bad word, and self esteem seems to be the only thing that matters. We raised our kids this way, because in turn it was the way we were raised. We live in a safe society where we don't fear being attacked daily because the government protects us. As such we don't feel the need to have to defend ourselves.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisT1qeABQ1JseJFUpehObuUTmlCJYLwHreqANwZehY_j7d_9NeNM78sa4QJK1FIV-ylKkPwGSSv0UXJFcqVa83rpNNlcJZxA-8sz68wbQXJP3zGta_bApdqOAY9GM3vWoTyni0Hz0nGIEF/s1600/CoD-kids-troll-530x298.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisT1qeABQ1JseJFUpehObuUTmlCJYLwHreqANwZehY_j7d_9NeNM78sa4QJK1FIV-ylKkPwGSSv0UXJFcqVa83rpNNlcJZxA-8sz68wbQXJP3zGta_bApdqOAY9GM3vWoTyni0Hz0nGIEF/s320/CoD-kids-troll-530x298.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm gonna learn how to virtually kill people<br />
and yell racial and homophobic slurs when I virtually die.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Having said that, we have to remember however, that as sensitive as we think our kids are, (comparatively speaking, they are...) Kids are also lot stronger than we give them credit for. What's more, they will find ways to express themselves that we don't understand. (Pokeman comes to mind). Best we take control and give the a little bit of non-child Friendly entertainment before they are old enough to control us, and turn our old age homes into a life like simulation of Grand Theft Auto, wheelchair wars.<br />
<br />
<br />
Of course, if you can't handle it, you can always use these. </div>
<div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Mj6myeYo6ym7esPt7Jl8uNthLTQHNUj5ygrz5XlrVkHWl6JH0bmr87FqyLW9Nr_TEoSZLGB1sYA5EBehqRXXk8Kg-YRUsKpRzVOzEfGxsVhVbuO72ck44huvdBJ5pzxO92kkxLII9QYo/s1600/star+condomes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Mj6myeYo6ym7esPt7Jl8uNthLTQHNUj5ygrz5XlrVkHWl6JH0bmr87FqyLW9Nr_TEoSZLGB1sYA5EBehqRXXk8Kg-YRUsKpRzVOzEfGxsVhVbuO72ck44huvdBJ5pzxO92kkxLII9QYo/s320/star+condomes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These ARE the droids you're looking for.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go console my daughter... She's crying because the barracuda killed Nemo's mom and then ate all his baby brother's and sisters.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-63881759781704901132013-08-13T20:52:00.000-07:002013-08-13T20:54:34.110-07:00A Threat to the Canadian Way of LifeRecently I heard a commercial from one of the major telecom companies telling me all about how the evil government is allowing another major foreign telecom company into the country which, according to the commercial, threatens our Canadian way of life. <br />
<br />
(I won't name names, because since apparently I have people that buy advertisement space, alienating corporations could affect my bottom line. $4.50 this year, thank you!) Since I can't say anything demeaning about any major corporations, and since I have much venting to do, I will instead vent against things that can't defend themselves, and won't hurt my bottom line...<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNMeBtNibHbUSQ6xozJoXT03UIs81vFQBa_U40P4QlWQvtAxpH3juMrb8iQtYPqKGuEcHV2K76qJxdQN7XwIJi-6mYf2_9FZymthhs1f7Jj5qxpEIQS2oLApUPr070tQhugxdehbpNZtWu/s1600/Cute+Kittens.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNMeBtNibHbUSQ6xozJoXT03UIs81vFQBa_U40P4QlWQvtAxpH3juMrb8iQtYPqKGuEcHV2K76qJxdQN7XwIJi-6mYf2_9FZymthhs1f7Jj5qxpEIQS2oLApUPr070tQhugxdehbpNZtWu/s320/Cute+Kittens.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You stupid fucking kittens, I'm glad your mom got run over.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVE_w_uvI1BVEIL-69o5jecwG5ILzam8nZAS16de7Q9HT1bJpYflwqJtkV5JZlVOws4nwqImkpGpMmVQS3K4vXvQCDMVB8h0SnSJOSmh7QLS9REepovukgZX6c-GmGPOzKoQR-30yqJTR0/s1600/mr+belvedere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVE_w_uvI1BVEIL-69o5jecwG5ILzam8nZAS16de7Q9HT1bJpYflwqJtkV5JZlVOws4nwqImkpGpMmVQS3K4vXvQCDMVB8h0SnSJOSmh7QLS9REepovukgZX6c-GmGPOzKoQR-30yqJTR0/s1600/mr+belvedere.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's some big talk for a butler, Belvedere!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Corporate political correctness aside, the major Canadian telecom giant (I'm gonna call them Belvedere) lets us know that if the government lets the new guys into the Canada from the States, (like they did for Belvedere back in 1880), then the new telecom giant will buy up all the other telecom non-giants, (like Belvedere has been doing since 1880), and operate jobs outside of Canada, (like Belvedere did in 2010 <a href="http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-11-25/outsourcing/28223977_1_outsource-jobs-outsourcing-partner-divisions">At least according to this article.</a>) What's more, they'll mooch off of Belvedere's existing network, give nothing back, and offer very little to Canadians!<br />
<br />
What bothers me the most though, is not that Belvedere is telling us misleading stories to try and get our patriotic sympathies, but that they are blaming it on the government!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That's right, the government are the bad guys, letting in the big evil American company, who will likely join Belvedere's oligopoly, and if we're lucky actually offer consumers competitive pricing for services which, in Canada, are the most expensive in the world! (<a href="http://www.iphoneincanada.ca/news/canadas-cell-phone-rates-the-highest-in-the-world/">At least according to this article.</a>)</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLfVCnuua1nm14YEh3mTD6J6Kb4E5xY7pNNqpNpGzlndkU9ez2t6AzCVqG6SNnZgFKqYdQJ_7jywA8zvBhPSLIH_yTyDXTrIFRQJT-698NJgaVo5iGV3isUNAOJ9ffc_OEy5UzfKY0HHnQ/s1600/small+pox.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLfVCnuua1nm14YEh3mTD6J6Kb4E5xY7pNNqpNpGzlndkU9ez2t6AzCVqG6SNnZgFKqYdQJ_7jywA8zvBhPSLIH_yTyDXTrIFRQJT-698NJgaVo5iGV3isUNAOJ9ffc_OEy5UzfKY0HHnQ/s320/small+pox.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Government, your best interests at heart since 1492.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
While it is true that I don't much trust the government to have my best interests at heart at all time, neither do I trust any corporations. Like all things in society, they push their own agenda to their own interests. (And it seems that for the most part, their interests are made up of dollar signs. (Or whatever monetary values you use, I'm not hear to judge you, crazy Europeans.)) That's not to say, they never do the right thing by the general populace, it just that when they do, it seems to benefit them somehow monetarily. I have no problem with this, as I am dyed in the wool capitalist.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As such, it is up to me to be informed about what is going on, and make decisions based on what is best for myself, family, and those I care about. In this case I know that the government is probably doing the right thing for my interests. I am a fan of having more choice in my financial decisions. That's not to say that I will run straight to the new telecom service, I probably won't, but I like to know that I have the option.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQWVF9uV4mhl_qKDmzQLCsfuhNYb9UANMZrDqenS7PI6U8GpFUP88zdbia8F2_gfQ473NnAZnw4ADWBUi6vjLuVwuh-25WgFt_FOHXaVhvyaJxcR6sLrfNPClktelSdp5sHeejmfzKQnXn/s1600/sad+orphans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQWVF9uV4mhl_qKDmzQLCsfuhNYb9UANMZrDqenS7PI6U8GpFUP88zdbia8F2_gfQ473NnAZnw4ADWBUi6vjLuVwuh-25WgFt_FOHXaVhvyaJxcR6sLrfNPClktelSdp5sHeejmfzKQnXn/s320/sad+orphans.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Save these orphans...<br />
From overpriced phone plans!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Belvedere is telling me that I need to have the government protect me from the evil corporations that want to take my money. While I do believe the government does have a role in ensuring the general population is protected from corporations with poor business ethics like swindling retirees of their savings, and providing unsafe work conditions; I also believe that it's up to consumers to only support businesses which best support their own, and their communities best interests. It's as simple as this... If you don't like what the new telecom giant offers, don't buy their phone plan. If you prefer the Canadian alternatives, give them your business. The government should have nothing to do with it. If the government says that the new guys can't come in, then Belevedere can go right one charging whatever they want. If Belevedere doesn't want me to go to the new guy, then he'd better offer me something worth my money, because I vote with my dollars.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It of course is through voicing your opinions as a consumer by only giving money to those companies you feel are worth it, that you can really affect change in our society. Corporations aren't evil per-say, they just are created specifically to make money. They make money by offering a service or product for sale. They have the right to offer that service at whatever cost the wish, and you have the right to decide if you want to pay or not. In this case, the government should have nothing to do with it. (Well, aside from clearing the paper work, and ensuring that fair business practices are observed.)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After that, it's up to you...</div>
<div>
<div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisjrN5XU1pkjZk758Hb86CQBb1GK26ZyrDjgq90tW_FcHqjVoK90BqFyKBN_AtH-FlAxiEhNDlu5iFpEu1bsRVJt755JFeFXCFOw-E-g0Lk0ApBG0eGS61aUtOKNUwOOhfZl_8miig13rl/s1600/free+beer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisjrN5XU1pkjZk758Hb86CQBb1GK26ZyrDjgq90tW_FcHqjVoK90BqFyKBN_AtH-FlAxiEhNDlu5iFpEu1bsRVJt755JFeFXCFOw-E-g0Lk0ApBG0eGS61aUtOKNUwOOhfZl_8miig13rl/s320/free+beer.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, I will buy whatever you are selling.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-35896587832138580112013-06-01T15:27:00.001-07:002013-06-01T15:27:54.726-07:00What is a Hipster?So the other day I was in a meeting discussing business stuff, and something happened. I made a purposely bad joke to a colleague. (I really enjoy telling jokes that are bad because I find awkwardness hilarious, and I have some horrible ones.) After a few blank stares, I explained that I enjoy being ironic. My colleague's ear perked up, and asked if I was a hipster. I thought about it for a second, and asked why he thought that, to which he explained that irony is a hipster thing. <br />
<br />
This gave me pause for thought, and I told him that this is an interesting concept, and I told him he has inspired a blog. He said he would read it, so Chris, this is for you.<br />
<br />
<br />So the question in the title, will be the theme today, as we look at what a hipster really is.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7LJlvKfPYtWaNoIuNQHOkXhXMmnZ0_pjzf_R7IoCMy89DGYl70ZQh9hT2UJn5E_kwkxSjIbI6HjaqsYzbr8qNf-9A-ABQCCJnPyVdMSSfWrPcyoWfsPc0jsZUa30LLnvOyRaeJIsbuOEt/s1600/Hipster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7LJlvKfPYtWaNoIuNQHOkXhXMmnZ0_pjzf_R7IoCMy89DGYl70ZQh9hT2UJn5E_kwkxSjIbI6HjaqsYzbr8qNf-9A-ABQCCJnPyVdMSSfWrPcyoWfsPc0jsZUa30LLnvOyRaeJIsbuOEt/s320/Hipster.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did you notice she didn't have any glass in those glasses?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If you want to be boring feel free to read the Urban Dictionary's definition of <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hipster" target="_blank">Hipster,</a> I assure you however, that my definition will be much more... well probably close to the same, but I will include pictures with funny captions, so screw you Urban Dictionary.<br />
<br />
First off, there are some traits which seem to encompass hipster culture. The first is big glasses. Whether they are needed or not. In fact if they aren't needed, then it's better, because then you can remove the glass, and look even more anvant garde. Go on, do a Google search for images of hipsters. They all have glasses. (For the hipsters reading this, you can use Ask Jeeves. Google is way too mainstream for you.) I myself have a pair of thickly framed glasses without glass in them because one year for Halloween, I dressed up as Clark Kent, so I needed them for that day. I have hung on to them so if I wanted to ironically be a hipster I could. However I'd much rather wear my Elvis sunglasses, because Hipster's haven't figured out yet how awesome Elvis sunglasses are. I have no doubt they will eventually. Hipsters for some reason tend to copy me.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIxSUKe0857EDzeM8FDEey4JYyLN36C5W_1vSI9nDg__xUV2zNOpD2eMexAv_L5t6Ru4X7dVPSuYTQAOAsF06AkFBTPpCA1Dk90RxnbzmrPsMDT9J3kQ9Nlz2h9m5LMjpCN5I6Jfdyj9JU/s1600/eh!(small).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIxSUKe0857EDzeM8FDEey4JYyLN36C5W_1vSI9nDg__xUV2zNOpD2eMexAv_L5t6Ru4X7dVPSuYTQAOAsF06AkFBTPpCA1Dk90RxnbzmrPsMDT9J3kQ9Nlz2h9m5LMjpCN5I6Jfdyj9JU/s200/eh!(small).JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best. T-shirt. ever.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It's actually kind of annoying to me that this happens, but unfortunately it is not an uncommon occurrence. In fact, it happens all the time. The truth of the matter is I'm more of a geek than I am a hipster, but hipsters tend to follow the geek culture. For instance... I am fond of wearing t-shirts with cartoon characters, and video games stuff on them (Extremely geeky stuff). I have for years. I wore them because I thought they were funny, a throw back to my childhood, and kind of gave me a look at me type of style. Shortly thereafter the ironic t-shirt became the uniform of the Hipster. Other t-shirts styles stolen from me... wolf shirts, corporate logo shirts, and a shirt with my own face on it giving the double guns. <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjED17i4DPqFHhmtWdjxDJBQKYtIw48hAeiI4gcvaQNoRZPURl_uwlSoZT5qxW5Q-O7GN5kuBodqt3IPnT48gfYZV1ZGUKXzMtnKCATpj5mbTkswRbtbsA_W-fJ_D97C8XpsuDU_kKQizl4/s1600/moose_t_shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjED17i4DPqFHhmtWdjxDJBQKYtIw48hAeiI4gcvaQNoRZPURl_uwlSoZT5qxW5Q-O7GN5kuBodqt3IPnT48gfYZV1ZGUKXzMtnKCATpj5mbTkswRbtbsA_W-fJ_D97C8XpsuDU_kKQizl4/s320/moose_t_shirt.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Moose t-shirts are a million times better than wolf shirts.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I remember once going to Canadian Tire and being delighted to find shirts with animals on them, and ALL the shirts with wolves on them were sold out. Damn hipsters anyhow! I decided at that point, wolf shirts were done, and got a moose t-shirt instead. So far that has still stayed original.<br />
<br />
It's not only t-shirts though... I started wearing plaid shirts that I had from the 90's in my 'grunge' days. They were hanging in the back of my closet, because I never update my wardrobe. (See geek reference.) It's a fine art trying to put your style on the downside of trends. Things are 'cool', then everyone does them, causing them to lose their cool. At that point, only uncool people wear them and get made fun of for it, because it's uncool. (Note: my wearing of acid wash jeans incident, late 1989. To this day, I still weep at the mercilessness teasing of those kindergarten kids. I was 15 at the time.) Now, if you can time it to wait about 3 years after the uncool people stop wearing the fashion, and break it out then... That's when it is HILARIOUS! At least I think it is. Other people probably think I'm a loser, but really... That's kind of the point of being ironic.<br />
<br />
So hipsters love irony. More importantly, they love to NOT be mainstream. That's probably the reason they choose not to wear the latest fashion trends, listen to the popular music, frequent the places the masses frequent (Walmart and Starbucks are great examples.), or do anything that the majority of people do. They pride themselves on being different. They feel that major corporations don't represent them, and by buying into the mainstream they are supporting the very thing that they are rebelling against. True hipsters are authentically counter culture, hipster wanna-bes are counter cultural because they are following the counter culture trend. <br />
<br />
Now for the irony...<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBk0MOqhNiwH6yQDPZMJG_6zK_yClThi04tDXvStiA-3JDaMjJEF-Xw4pyM3D19OTuttPJFcoaN9ai3o9cSOV-QZRMEJsUdJtXgGtaObJuvbSDdVIHbhYvBumEyIGJaWVz00xHjDiFhQnz/s1600/1966-chevy-impala-wagon-pabst-blue-ribbon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBk0MOqhNiwH6yQDPZMJG_6zK_yClThi04tDXvStiA-3JDaMjJEF-Xw4pyM3D19OTuttPJFcoaN9ai3o9cSOV-QZRMEJsUdJtXgGtaObJuvbSDdVIHbhYvBumEyIGJaWVz00xHjDiFhQnz/s320/1966-chevy-impala-wagon-pabst-blue-ribbon.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hate the beer, kinda love the car.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The accepted beer of choice for the Hipster is Pabst Blue Ribbon. Now PBR was never a popular beer when you put it up next to the mainstream. In the States this would be considered Budwiser and Miller, as they dominated the beer market. Poor PBR was a constant cheap beer that was there, not great, but managed a hold in the discount beer market. Then hipster culture took over. Being counter culture, they were looking for a non-mainstream beer, (something that no-one else drank), and they ironically settled on what would be considered the poor mans beer, PBR and other discount brands. The executives noticed this, and then started an alternative marketing campaign, pushing indie bands, ironic commercials, and every other marketing technique that they use for mainstream beers to promote. However, they targeted people who wanted to be hipsters and counter culture. (Also, you should know that PBR is owned by Miller, who in the beer world is considered very mainstream and very predatory. Very un-hipster.) The hipster's ate up the marketing ploys, and just like in the mainstream markets, the hipster's started to get corporate brands. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnLXxWcuu-4wmijJ7pmKHnls3Gc1PKg2slKZWE8gSsFZEq5n5E9JW17HEoPqnGyBA4oA2PnxNExoHIAqhhg2P6N7i0n6rwCGBVJTuIO-f1o3RbqZZ9_vkCC812cVy1eARwTzvELsHsu1Mk/s1600/bogwater.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnLXxWcuu-4wmijJ7pmKHnls3Gc1PKg2slKZWE8gSsFZEq5n5E9JW17HEoPqnGyBA4oA2PnxNExoHIAqhhg2P6N7i0n6rwCGBVJTuIO-f1o3RbqZZ9_vkCC812cVy1eARwTzvELsHsu1Mk/s320/bogwater.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Literally, awesome sauce.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
(As a side note, if you truly want to be different in your beer choices, support your local micro-brewery. Try things you've never tried before and expand your horizons. It is my rule when I go to a pub and ask what they have on tap, I like to try the one I've never heard of before. This can be disastrous, or it can be brilliant. Either way it's an adventure. Also, if you haven't tried it... Beau's beer for those in my local area, is frick'n awesome sauce! I have no idea what their marketing strategy, but if it's making delicious beer, then they succeeded. In fact, I'm going to crack one open right now. Are you jealous?)<br />
<br />
As PBR started making tonnes of cash by marketing to the counter culture, other corporations took notes. Now hipsters are a major target for huge corporations. If you see a commercial or branding that encourages you to be different from the rest of the crowd they are trying to get the hipster market.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaL3QuNfmO0MfMHuDIZLHdTpWLbcxKRJhkNtoiP6xY5Ta8MFbexgqZHXBqPirEx5oHuyiYlW4026gGT615tCWdFTviyftQkA4YUWDfjFYmUZQnm4jGhtyECUcL8DI324alDAuYxZ-E14ss/s1600/110805thinkdifferent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaL3QuNfmO0MfMHuDIZLHdTpWLbcxKRJhkNtoiP6xY5Ta8MFbexgqZHXBqPirEx5oHuyiYlW4026gGT615tCWdFTviyftQkA4YUWDfjFYmUZQnm4jGhtyECUcL8DI324alDAuYxZ-E14ss/s320/110805thinkdifferent.jpg" width="233" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brilliant Marketing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Of course, it goes with out saying that if your marketing campaign is
successful, you've made a crap load of money, but you are now
considered mainstream. But like I said, hipster's love irony. Which brings me to my last point...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDN98amwCwsdD3UUek0HqfiZo6iZ24P61h3yB1IGvcSQFYJobjkcvHawncD9dtJmQFWiF_VfFPf1SZUWjgYdKjhKewDxa2fcBxNGvk7O03_urS48oWoHrOzJ8dEAfqRLi7oEQHsvlxf9Ar/s1600/the-true-hipster-macfags-apple-ipod-imac-macbook-iphone-macuser-ipad-macintosh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDN98amwCwsdD3UUek0HqfiZo6iZ24P61h3yB1IGvcSQFYJobjkcvHawncD9dtJmQFWiF_VfFPf1SZUWjgYdKjhKewDxa2fcBxNGvk7O03_urS48oWoHrOzJ8dEAfqRLi7oEQHsvlxf9Ar/s320/the-true-hipster-macfags-apple-ipod-imac-macbook-iphone-macuser-ipad-macintosh.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thinking Different</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Before it was cool....</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUVzWNpTA9V0MJHitnUopwMIA0BFbFQkPe_1eoIeiA3mofu7hZNhg3r4hdtzhf0zu6kqUirFZJOsbrK2l4VLC0wCFp9rroTfu6z5yn2XjpviZmUu7r3qUuerhytHYy2AHauJTgjT9fjhG3/s1600/shakespaer+ironic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUVzWNpTA9V0MJHitnUopwMIA0BFbFQkPe_1eoIeiA3mofu7hZNhg3r4hdtzhf0zu6kqUirFZJOsbrK2l4VLC0wCFp9rroTfu6z5yn2XjpviZmUu7r3qUuerhytHYy2AHauJTgjT9fjhG3/s320/shakespaer+ironic.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My point exactly...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That could almost be a tagline of the hipster... Example: "I used to like listening to The Black Keys before it was cool." I guess I could say I've been kind of implying that about myself in this blog as I re-read this. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but the original question was if I was a hipster... The thing is though, and what makes hipsters considered insufferable by society is their better than you, holier than thou attitude. In fact, this attitude is what has made the 'tag' hipster the laughing stock of the main stream, and why no one, even hipsters don't want to be considered hipsters. In fact, there are very few hard facts about hipsters as a culture accepting this. A hipster will always deny they are a hipster. This is because it's not cool to be part of a group. A hipster wants to be known as different and unique. Putting them into a societal bucket is what they are trying to avoid, and as such, it is a great insult. That's why they've done everything before it's cool, or know about things that you've never heard of because it's pre-cool. Hipster's don't want to be cool, they want to seem cool by not being cool. Of course, if you're not cool, then you're a geek. Since I was a geek well before hipsters were hipsters, that makes me a hipster before hipsters were cool. I'm starting to get a headache thinking about this.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So here it is then. Am I a hipster? If I'm not a hipster, the answer is no, and if I am, the answer is no. Therefore to maintain my status of wanting to be different, and not follow the mainstream I have to say yes I am a hipster. And I was, after it was cool.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKs18BS5vDrTM8tE_vtP809r2TUj94r-JlFKw10-D2VEPbWWF-fBaLzqDFQ1KMGiFcgkbQwd_4-JtzWrvbsiFagbHbtvyEOEe-m2GNdLBnUkq0vOcV-_5rxsgI2G2qoCk6A5JggAxra77L/s1600/Hipster+Matt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKs18BS5vDrTM8tE_vtP809r2TUj94r-JlFKw10-D2VEPbWWF-fBaLzqDFQ1KMGiFcgkbQwd_4-JtzWrvbsiFagbHbtvyEOEe-m2GNdLBnUkq0vOcV-_5rxsgI2G2qoCk6A5JggAxra77L/s320/Hipster+Matt.jpg" width="254" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Enjoys Friday by Rebecca Black which was never cool.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-23145142165797367382013-05-08T08:48:00.001-07:002013-05-08T08:49:45.124-07:00Video Game Generation<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5qxGTNAKfZfyztddLzEA8j9bQej6zswCMWkxug57-PIUAtYxXGlUgavgYQzVsxoy0afCCd8VhHQ97X3Ujll8tXqdv6GpAsPFehU4Nzr2YUgeG8ggFVIY3lLpaYWppYaJEO8FjpYxgrot7/s1600/sexy-pacman-dress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5qxGTNAKfZfyztddLzEA8j9bQej6zswCMWkxug57-PIUAtYxXGlUgavgYQzVsxoy0afCCd8VhHQ97X3Ujll8tXqdv6GpAsPFehU4Nzr2YUgeG8ggFVIY3lLpaYWppYaJEO8FjpYxgrot7/s320/sexy-pacman-dress.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love Pac Man. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
To start off, that's a working title, I may change it, I may not. I will keep the next sentence the same regardless, so you know what the title was if it changes, which it may not. Today's topin is the "TVideo Game FGeneratyion." <br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhprR2A_56o4HtpkS7uxQIUcHVg9DeUlOSBah-YcPL7vU8S_Yjva-atzboKGk6DOJdUlECHHAd20HwgY0WoF-ij5k05AAU16a5U9vynemwuSQ_8MHZxmKLTpWVrx2SulhS9TQ4050_JKJw-/s1600/incompetent+simpson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhprR2A_56o4HtpkS7uxQIUcHVg9DeUlOSBah-YcPL7vU8S_Yjva-atzboKGk6DOJdUlECHHAd20HwgY0WoF-ij5k05AAU16a5U9vynemwuSQ_8MHZxmKLTpWVrx2SulhS9TQ4050_JKJw-/s1600/incompetent+simpson.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All you Simpsons geeks are yelling at me<br />
because we know that the "Any Key" comment<br />
was said at home in a mumu.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Ok, since I promised not to change it, you can now see all my typos, which of course means you know what an incompetent typer I am. When I took typing class in grade 9 I got a 54% passing grade. Pretty pathetic I know, but it was on a typewriter, so there has to be marks for that right?<br />
<br />
The truth of the matter is, I'm actually a pretty good typer when I look at my fingers, hell I can type well when I don't look at my fingers also, until I think about it, and then it's typo city! I was even a pretty good typer back in grade 9 as well just not in that class. The reason I am such an excellent typist, is all thanks to a little company called Infocom and a video game they put out called "The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy".<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIBPMwFZQtoYI8cRdKvi9KrlqBG_WsDs3eJaQgAQoUBTIw9hS4VsHmSAEmt1RiqQwo-ZCcuTbbdKT7m618wsyIcGwJv7X9w1mIF_JpFCtQ289LM0JLYDZMvrGvqcQkutqDeliks50HboSt/s1600/hhgtg-infocom.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIBPMwFZQtoYI8cRdKvi9KrlqBG_WsDs3eJaQgAQoUBTIw9hS4VsHmSAEmt1RiqQwo-ZCcuTbbdKT7m618wsyIcGwJv7X9w1mIF_JpFCtQ289LM0JLYDZMvrGvqcQkutqDeliks50HboSt/s320/hhgtg-infocom.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stunning graphics!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This little game was a frustrating adventure where you controlled the main character 'Arthur Dent' as he galavanted around the universe searching for... Well I'm not sure really, just doing his best to survive. It was all texted based, and you controlled everything by typing in commands for Arthur to do. Typing and typing and typing and typing. Typing until your fingers bled, trying to figure out why the ship wouldn't land, only to figure our that you forgot to pick up a toothbrush 16 hours prior in the game and had to start over. I'm suprised it didn't drive me to madness. Maybe it did. I've often wondered if those who are crazy knew it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, you could download the solutions on how to beat the game from BBS boards, (That's what the internet was before the internet was mainstream kids), so that probably saved me. As well you could by hint books from the software companies, which is where I'm pretty sure they made thier money. <br />
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbmXrRLaYrBn-sVmpw6EwqM4u6rBTiDVEoqQkksGByp_4aK0-s6NrhPsfXT7AL2tNyDPMUeVhcSahx439CLSl1R0NmKDmtDjgAH8GPp4Rpa0_GCqoSMfyV4weEQR85qq5SXTssoWe93YwP/s1600/quarters-flying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbmXrRLaYrBn-sVmpw6EwqM4u6rBTiDVEoqQkksGByp_4aK0-s6NrhPsfXT7AL2tNyDPMUeVhcSahx439CLSl1R0NmKDmtDjgAH8GPp4Rpa0_GCqoSMfyV4weEQR85qq5SXTssoWe93YwP/s320/quarters-flying.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If quarters spontensouly flew like this, I probably wouldn't be as<br />
good at PacMan.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The by product of all this mind numbing video game playing was that I became a reasonably good typist, and developed a geek like interest in computers which eventually fuelled my career. On the downside I spent less time outside, never met girls, and spent a shitload of quarters. Depspite my parents HATING that I spent all my allowance at the local seedy video arcade, and that I got a radiation tan from the TV and computer monitors, video games influenced me and many others from my generation in ways which have developed into our society.<br />
<br />
I mentioned before about BBS's. For all those non-retro geeks out there, BBS stands for Bulletin Board System. Back in the 80's computer geeks connected by hooking up their computers to their modems and dialling other geeks computers over the phone line. This wasn't like dialling into an internet provider, these were individual computers with dedicated phone lines in people houses. (Mostly mom's basements.) You had to know the specific numbers to call, and if someone else had logged on at that time, you would get a busy signal and have to try again later. On the BBS you could post comments and have conversations with people you'd never meet. You could play simple video games, MULTIPLAYER! (Of couse one person at a time, let's not get ridiculous.) And you could download documents and, ummm, how do I say this.... pictures. On my 2400 baud modem it took about an hour to download a 1 meg picture. Of course there was no thumbnails, so you'd have to dedicate some time to download your 'pictures'. And what's more, you'd never know what you are going to get...<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUoPpHaFJGpLEnl768mNO5PJbT4p0j6YQi-8XyCVPgBCO0SfeWB_h801qq6-GYquJZGNd-KbMjVb_AWN7msisKHWLfxt0whiMUUyg3d2jkeDeUaFmnyiJtlvBXHJcxnIBHdomkwjQfaVWF/s1600/ugly_fat_women_big_boobs_ugly_woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUoPpHaFJGpLEnl768mNO5PJbT4p0j6YQi-8XyCVPgBCO0SfeWB_h801qq6-GYquJZGNd-KbMjVb_AWN7msisKHWLfxt0whiMUUyg3d2jkeDeUaFmnyiJtlvBXHJcxnIBHdomkwjQfaVWF/s320/ugly_fat_women_big_boobs_ugly_woman.jpg" width="254" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1 hour for bgboobblnde.gif? WTF!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
While the internet did exist during these days, it wasn't well known, and frankly NOT in the least bit mainstream. Most people wouldn't know what to do with it at all. As soon as the internet did go mainstream however, the BBSers recognized it for what it was, and went to work making it into the social networking, communcation mecca that it is today. And best of all! THUMBNAILS!<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgDX_Ez3Z0ljeCV4jyQW4EafxM8AJ9q3jVt6428udA7S2dWlve8koOaTttsOONnqzbHmygSEy_XGAU6kKcICkygJvvOTHLoj58rdTneM1-TGnyK2RoAVQyrYZgXzw30XhRAKOp7mJ9NTf/s1600/Leisure_Suit_Larry-3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgDX_Ez3Z0ljeCV4jyQW4EafxM8AJ9q3jVt6428udA7S2dWlve8koOaTttsOONnqzbHmygSEy_XGAU6kKcICkygJvvOTHLoj58rdTneM1-TGnyK2RoAVQyrYZgXzw30XhRAKOp7mJ9NTf/s320/Leisure_Suit_Larry-3.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hilarity ensued...</td></tr>
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Girls of course were not part of the video gaming culture back in the 80's. Oh, they were there of course. The ratio of girls to guys mind you was about 1 for every 100, and let's just say they weren't the 'choicest' of the species. Don't get me wrong, I met some very nice and smart women via the BBS, but let's just say they weren't super models. (And sometimes guys posing as girls, but that's a whole different blog.) The truth is, I learned almost everything I know about meeting the fairer sex from Leisure Suit Larry. (Maybe the funniest video games of all time.) Larry was awesome, and taught me that a little cheese can go a long way. Also that if you can make a girl laugh with it, then she'd love to be your friend. (And that's about it.)<br />
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By the way, if your under the age of 25 and the only time you've been exposed to Lesuire Suit Larry was those two pathetic video games Magna Cum Laude and Box Office Bust, please do yourself a favour and grab a copy of the old ones. The genius behind the humour, Al Lowe, had nothing to do with those and it shows. The originals were witty, smart, fun, with a sprinking of teasing smut. The newer ones were an excuse to draw slutty women, with humour equivelent to a bad fart joke.<br />
<br />
Even better you can order a copy of <a href="https://www.replaygamesinc.com/index/get-game?gameId=13" target="_blank">Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded</a> by Replay Games, an HD remake of the original with Al Lowe on board. I normally don't shill for companies, but I support what these guys are doing. It comes out hopefully at the end of May, and looks gorgeous so far. If only they'd make it for BlackBerry as well, then it might be perfect.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfmOVjRmuPlH6OJ1G8VRST1Pk2NTJ7YCwkY8kmUv0U0Fobqg7881fuFoMAVbwDaxnur3bFyPSnL1rh9CSJn4xomXwFY0e_M1FfVNhSicMhIWNxO8zBMx74_Miy_av3a7gSs3E6vUwCkIWl/s1600/girl-gamer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfmOVjRmuPlH6OJ1G8VRST1Pk2NTJ7YCwkY8kmUv0U0Fobqg7881fuFoMAVbwDaxnur3bFyPSnL1rh9CSJn4xomXwFY0e_M1FfVNhSicMhIWNxO8zBMx74_Miy_av3a7gSs3E6vUwCkIWl/s320/girl-gamer.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For the last time, I don't want to see your dick picture!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Today, it seems like video games have started to try and include those who don't have a Y-chromosone. While some of these attempts are borderline offensive at trying to entice women, (Diner Dash, a game which lets you live all the glory of being a waitress), some seem to have hit the mark. The Sims is the first example which comes to mind. For those of you who don't know, The Sims is a game where you design your house, foster relationships with others, and do housework.. Ummm, fun? Actually, it's not that bad. Also games where you raise cute pets seem to be popular with the ladies. Not to mention more gender neutral games like Farmville, Rock Band, Wii Fit, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBjE3vWa6jc" target="_blank">Boobfest 9000</a> all prove that our society is trying to include them in our world, and hopefully maybe one day gamers might get a date.<br />
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Finally I want to touch on something that bothers me a lot. Kids today take a lot of slack for playing video games all the time and getting obese.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZyXe462iS7Yp0e9Dml12zhgmxipwCfjoF-PxddrVgzLmWCvQx8gC4QKlZwQZxx6coWOlZW2cEZ0eJDUmAqJMkORXhJcLqPiiXiV5LBKGppkFj093M-_YwhFbCmRyWkHqCHXHx4OvgP5E/s1600/playing-cowboys-and-indians-L-H_PVCD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZyXe462iS7Yp0e9Dml12zhgmxipwCfjoF-PxddrVgzLmWCvQx8gC4QKlZwQZxx6coWOlZW2cEZ0eJDUmAqJMkORXhJcLqPiiXiV5LBKGppkFj093M-_YwhFbCmRyWkHqCHXHx4OvgP5E/s1600/playing-cowboys-and-indians-L-H_PVCD.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Playing outside and promoting racism</td></tr>
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The point is something along the lines of... "Back in my day, kids went outside and ran around playing 'Cowboys and Indians' and made social connections, got exercise, and learned not to be such pussies! Kids today sit in front of that blasted computer get fat and shoot each other while trash talking each other in a way that would make Chris Rock blush."<br />
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Here's the point... I come from the generation who played outside. We grabbed sticks and made pretend guns, and shot each other with our imaginations. If you were the guy who got shot, you'd immediately come back with the poignant argument that the other guy missed, or perhaps you had a bulletproof shield. This would lead to the argument that there were no bulletproof shields allowed, and that it was double stamped with no erasies. And as we all know, you can't triple stamp a double stamp. This would sometimes lead to blows and broken up friendships, but that was rare. </div>
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I've also played Call of Duty, where I can meet my friends to play a game of shoot 'em up. My sticks are now rocket launchers, my neighbourhood is now a graphically detailed warzone with friends from all over the world, there is now an impartial referee to call hit or miss, and the bullet proof shields can still be used, but have to be earned and deplete quickly if you suck. IT'S LIKE A MILLION TIMES BETTER THEN SHOOTING YOUR FRIEND WITH A STICK! Can you blame kids for not wanting to go back to the old way?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-CGsYtaFkA8cHGwtUSCl3gz8HHHIe7jM9u5KtfudsrTVlhI5qeusxcf9lU2EW70k5PfNuQ3ylNv40ZpuAcQytaDP1vH6u5NDE-P-gJafQ6dKozIWbvsuSSBIgHXvkmxvqriwkK1LfAMFr/s1600/overprtective+parent..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-CGsYtaFkA8cHGwtUSCl3gz8HHHIe7jM9u5KtfudsrTVlhI5qeusxcf9lU2EW70k5PfNuQ3ylNv40ZpuAcQytaDP1vH6u5NDE-P-gJafQ6dKozIWbvsuSSBIgHXvkmxvqriwkK1LfAMFr/s320/overprtective+parent..jpg" width="234" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sigh...</td></tr>
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On top of that with the wide spread information overload that we take on, parents are too paranoid to let their kids out of their site for even a moment. We hear about missing kids all day on the news, and even though it's one in a million, it's all you hear about. As a result, neighbourhoods are no longer teaming with miscreant kids just milling around like the used to be. Even if you are enlightened to the fear mongering media and know that your kid won't die if they look at a peanut, other parents aren't, so now your kid is the only target out there.<br />
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To solution of course is to let your kids outside, but if you can't bring yourself to that, get them a treadmill, and make them run as they play video games. I have to admit, I played a round of golf yesterday and the walking to get the ball was a heck of a lot more tiring than the simulated swing you have to do on the Wii. (Also the walking through the woods and swamps is a good workout, which is why I hit the ball there.) The point is kids need exercise, and maybe more sun. Video games provide good entertainment and social interaction. (Especially now that the ratio of girls to guys is down to 1 in 75). It also still fosters a geek interest in computers, which can lead to some pretty good job prospects if you develop it.<br />
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The video game culture is now part of our society, more than it ever was. It's moved out of the dingy arcades to the dingy basements of mothers, true, but it's adopting more and more disciples into its folds. The people who grew up on it, are now shaping your society, and the generation that follows will only increase that. Mind you, they don't only have 3 lives now so they have some things to learn still about conservation, but we'll work on that too.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8SqfQoANlNaZW7iyuXroi-sSADpE3_acRrd1F-f_zkgXupUb8_grP6UFNZWXv3nw64ugKlRh_uvNZFCCSLrNWo_nMsgD6wSrbuhyJ-K7KstmeT4-MjMI_ZfdycGx-sCPHcmlRHWrKfQko/s1600/dilbert.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8SqfQoANlNaZW7iyuXroi-sSADpE3_acRrd1F-f_zkgXupUb8_grP6UFNZWXv3nw64ugKlRh_uvNZFCCSLrNWo_nMsgD6wSrbuhyJ-K7KstmeT4-MjMI_ZfdycGx-sCPHcmlRHWrKfQko/s640/dilbert.gif" width="640" /></a></div>
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P.S. I'm keeping the title.</div>
<br />MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-18885669292919867282013-01-19T20:59:00.000-08:002013-01-19T20:59:21.707-08:00Some things I learnedHello all... I've missed you! I know it's been a while since I've put anything up, and I promise you it's not because I haven't wanted to. Sometimes life gets in the way, and sometimes I'm just too lazy. <br />
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I am approaching my 39th birthday in a few days and feeling my age a little. I expect that when I turn 93, I might read this and laugh at the young whippersnapper who has the gall to say that 39 is old. But as is the case with everyone, the age you are makes up 100% of your life, and thus, seems like a lifetime. In theory it is middle age. I'm OK with that. I will only have one 39th birthday, and I look forward to becoming a crotchety old man...<br />
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<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijLMJY-0WnykfR3ryTgy5UAnXPq2u6PBShFla6Ojq-7jdwsQUG8ELVwjwyi_Oh40nHBJcy3ctYjoydmE2iBlPTTwAHRSoBmthCKXXk2SdczpLVMnwzGovgTJ2blOUs4U1uzz91QHYsrbfK/s1600/the-old-man-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijLMJY-0WnykfR3ryTgy5UAnXPq2u6PBShFla6Ojq-7jdwsQUG8ELVwjwyi_Oh40nHBJcy3ctYjoydmE2iBlPTTwAHRSoBmthCKXXk2SdczpLVMnwzGovgTJ2blOUs4U1uzz91QHYsrbfK/s320/the-old-man-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Secret to long life? A steady diet of whiskey and whores!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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We as a society don't tend to value the elderly as we should. We also forget that they have tend to have more life experience, awesome rambling stories, strange smells, and they may have kicked more ass in one can of whoop than our namby pamby asses could ever hope to. They didn't have all the life easy making technology we had. I mean, I called out the Millennium generation for being a bunch of snot nosed brats. Grandpa survived polio pandemics, lead and asbestos paint, wall street crashes, and disco. He also punched Nazi's for fun. Think about that next time you bitch how hard done by you are because your smartphone is a little slow looking stuff up.<br />
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So while I know I can't offer you as much as grandpa could have, he's not here, and probably wouldn't know what to do with a blog if I slowly and painfully explained to him how social media connects the world, and how to put his outdated racist thoughts out there for everyone to read. Also, I kinda hope that if he could work the internet that he'd be surfing porn instead. He deserves it.<br />
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So instead, I am going to offer you somethings that I've learned in my 39 years on this planet.<br />
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<b>1. A lot of things I know are obvious.</b></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrG8RF1cKEdSZ1hsoscSK4Ob0Y8LajlW30iuN4zjnOr4zftLD4tZbg4THVO1kGd6Lp3bddPS_nbwWNx-wzqKuttg4UkRF5YaVtAmwoJUF7GptDnWFV6C-KTDyZxjYWcFj_eomvIqEOkeBe/s1600/captain-obvious-thanks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrG8RF1cKEdSZ1hsoscSK4Ob0Y8LajlW30iuN4zjnOr4zftLD4tZbg4THVO1kGd6Lp3bddPS_nbwWNx-wzqKuttg4UkRF5YaVtAmwoJUF7GptDnWFV6C-KTDyZxjYWcFj_eomvIqEOkeBe/s320/captain-obvious-thanks.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I'm no genius. There are many who are way smarter than me, and I don't pretend to be an absolute expert on anything. Many things I will talk about you may already know. I figure I've probably never had an original thought in my life. The observations I've made have been made by others, and probably they've drawn the same conclusions that I have. I guess the only thing that I might be able to do is to enlighten you what my perspective is on things that are obvious. So you may not learn any new facts by reading my blog, but if you do, then I guess I should be happy. I'm just saying, don't expect any new revelations from reading this. If anything maybe you can walk away with a new way of looking what you already know, and if you do, then I guess than I did a good job.<br />
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
2. Boobs are great!</h2>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-lItLY9bWI39v9OLVdkNRZjX42puAqOFAZqWMBBqQ170KHAJUnveXFabkmnxgMZXhqU3uRxLgHWyHKJ7CdL_8Bb6MfRW6lZUUl1x4ypGOgJvEVcWenIopK1UH4D2MdXNEpxSt_cUPv4qX/s1600/Cleavage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-lItLY9bWI39v9OLVdkNRZjX42puAqOFAZqWMBBqQ170KHAJUnveXFabkmnxgMZXhqU3uRxLgHWyHKJ7CdL_8Bb6MfRW6lZUUl1x4ypGOgJvEVcWenIopK1UH4D2MdXNEpxSt_cUPv4qX/s320/Cleavage.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry, I lost my train of thought.</td></tr>
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What's that I said about obvious again? There's just something about boobs. They are truly a wonderful thing. Not only do they look great, feed the young, help perpetuate the species by attracting men to women, look great, are fun to play with and to have played with, drive the economy by their natural advertising qualities, and given bras something to do more than just hold coconuts; they may be one of the soul reasons humans have evolved into the dominant species on the earth. <br />
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Of course the biological reason for the boob is for mothers to feed their young. If breast feeding propaganda is to be believed, this helps create a bond between mother and child. That coupled with the fact that somewhere deep in men's psyche they are attracted to boobs because they are trying re-capture that bond and are drawn to women in a way that creates a family unit. The family unit is stronger than the individual person as multiple people who are connected by love work as a team. and have more strengths. Those teams dominating individuals have taught us that the group is stronger than the individual, and thus groups of families are stronger than one family. Following this train of thought, by maintaining groups of humans together who have common interests, we've made cities, and countries, and essentially civilization. (Opposable thumbs help as well.) So the next time you are sitting back in your home enjoying a beer, instead of being eaten by a bear.... Thank boobs.<br />
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Thanks Boobs!<br />
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
3. Truth is a matter of perspective.</h2>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuFRim1KsRwOBa31oga-wKLbwVlwl2gvY4KPPUQaPQ53LrKpLOFonR71l0VpPA2se11Lrgm-HucihBtWRtJFA3n0mCNs2ziOaMitJbW6m_iIyM-V3Qr54cVzFLSzlZzvlXIDPFEkGkCzVB/s1600/truth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuFRim1KsRwOBa31oga-wKLbwVlwl2gvY4KPPUQaPQ53LrKpLOFonR71l0VpPA2se11Lrgm-HucihBtWRtJFA3n0mCNs2ziOaMitJbW6m_iIyM-V3Qr54cVzFLSzlZzvlXIDPFEkGkCzVB/s1600/truth.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry, the boobs picture was way better.</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
There is such a thing as "The Truth". It is an absolute. It is the way things are, completely and unquestionably right. It has no morals, no reason, and no accountability. It is just the way things are, period. (Was that 'period' necessary?)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
We all observe the truth every moment of our conscious lives. (Probably the unconscious parts of our lives as well. I can't say.) We observe it through all our senses. We take it, process it, interpret it, and it becomes our reality.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
The issue of perspective comes from the fact that all humans are different and unique. Everyone has a different biological make up, and even those with similar DNA has been shaped by different life experiences. As such no two peoples interpretation of the truth are the same. So while the absolute truth is unwavering, everyone observes it differently based on their perspective, so everyone's personal truth is biased to themselves, and we can NEVER know 'The Truth' even though it exists.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6KcOqQOwob-AdAL9qYgBNQ2MQX2vV8jGmj4HXKno6edgMtXv92sAYpA9H60rnGJJqqk3HtQevRauv9Sx5GjihhDFcFdNoTXAHeqb3TbE_VwiJretWLaH7xqMvG4X6WLmtGK25mtNLjHd/s1600/Sebastian_Bach1989.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>Anyway, my point is this... The next time you are talking to someone who you are sure is completely wrong and a moron, or someone who seems really smart, but has ideas which are completely misguided, remember they see the same truth as you. Their life experiences and genetic makeup has just given them a different perspective on the exact same thing that you have seen. In fact maybe your the moron, because what you 'know' is absolutely wrong. Take some time and listen to everyone's perspective no matter how skewed it is from your own. You'll add to your own experience, and create a more well rounded personal vision of truth.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
(Just a
quick note, I have my songs on shuffle right now, and I have learned
something new. Britney Spears' 'Oops I Did It Again's ending and Skid
Row's 'Eighteen and Life to Go's beginning mixes extremely well into
each other. It's almost scary.)</div>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
4. Britney Spears - Sebastian Bach from Skid Row</h2>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiyIVNnkqoT67o_mwlV3WHCzoauM_MGHpO5JaJCXZtcISSrSakW4STkItWXtEvH5mvy-vySmxHmqoRtT-cUQbe5r952ZCTZy1j-7c_hv7O2xuIwkMQqsxRIoHEwPpQj5hZA-dITrGe5pmD/s1600/Britney-sebastian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="417" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiyIVNnkqoT67o_mwlV3WHCzoauM_MGHpO5JaJCXZtcISSrSakW4STkItWXtEvH5mvy-vySmxHmqoRtT-cUQbe5r952ZCTZy1j-7c_hv7O2xuIwkMQqsxRIoHEwPpQj5hZA-dITrGe5pmD/s640/Britney-sebastian.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Might be the same person, I'm not sure.</td></tr>
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5. No one can make you happy but you.</h2>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bad skit, good life lesson.</td></tr>
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I find that most people are always looking for the next thing in their lives, and they forget to enjoy what they have. We look to things, people, events, TV, Movies, books, and all other external stimuli to make them happy. I'm not immune from this either. Most of the pursuits in my life are based on finding things to give me pleasure. (This includes selfish interests such as video games and technology, and selfless things like family and doing things for friends.) Even things I hate doing are generally done to give myself the means to put myself in a position where I will get gratification.</div>
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It doesn't matter however what you do, what you have, who your with, or where you are, (or any combination the previous statements.), YOU are always going to be there. You don't have a choice in the matter. You simply can't escape that you are stuck with yourself. No matter what you do to try and escape yourself, the best you can do is maybe alter your ego's perception of yourself. </div>
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So you might as well like yourself. Learn to find happiness just being you, and then no matter what you do, at least you'll have yourself to keep you happy. People who have learned this lesson can be more happy with nothing than those who try and fill their emptiness with other things. </div>
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People also tend to like people who like themselves. When I was young I tried to be what I thought people wanted me to be. Generally it made me unhappy, and wasn't effective. I then learned that I can be a total goofball spastic geek who is true to myself, and people responded to me much better. Maybe I just attracted other spastic geeks, but if that's the case, I'd much rather hang out with them, then all the 'cool' people in the world. (Did I just call all my friends spastic geeks? Maybe. I don't see that as a negative.)</div>
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6. Everyone is Evil.</h2>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I am going to feed on your soul for fun.</td></tr>
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I truly believe that we all have super dark thoughts. Thoughts that are not morally correct. Thoughts that are not politically correct. Thoughts that we could get arrested for if we were to admit them to anyone. I believe that pregidous is natural, and inherent in all life. Morality is a question of perspective and societies perceived 'right' way of doing things. While most of us live by that code, most of us also disagree with a lot of it.</div>
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While I don't think I would ever murder anyone, I can't say that it hasn't seriously crossed my mind that it might be an appropriate thing to do. Not even for any good reason. There are many completely inappropriate racist jokes which I happen to find hilarious. I think that recycling is a waste of time, and that we only do it to make ourselves feel better about horrible treatment of nature in the first place. I sometimes think that homeless people are a blight on society, and should be dealt with harshly. I think that the sex trade has a place in our society, and is way more empowering to the workers than anyone will ever admit. I believe that <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0" target="_blank">Rebecca Black's 'Friday'</a> is actually a pretty good representation of modern pop culture and should be appreciated as art.</div>
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What's more I think that the majority of people agree with me on some of these points and probably a whole bunch more that I can't admit here. However as these subjects are taboo, they can't be mentioned to anyone ever, for fear of judgment and retribution for not having clean thoughts. Even those who have an opposite perspective to yours, they still have thoughts that are just as taboo as yours. </div>
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It's comforting to know that there are others who think the same evil thoughts you do. Even if they never admit it. It's natural to think evil thoughts. Just draw the line at acting out on the ones which cross your own personal line of morality.</div>
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6. I talk way too much...</h2>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My last lecture.</td></tr>
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My friends with ADD tell me that my stories are way too long. They're a bunch of jerks. They'll never know I wrote that, so I don't feel bad. My friends with normal attention spans tell me my stories are too long. They're probably right. I appreciate them all. I don't listen to them mind you, but at least they are nice people. My friends who have hyper attentiveness tell me my stories are right, and ask for more detail. They are masochists, and I love them all. </div>
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I love to give detail, and will go on to the Nth degree about everything if given the chance. Sometimes you need to know when to shut up.</div>
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MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-50043660267547220802012-11-03T21:00:00.000-07:002012-11-30T07:15:58.450-08:00Are you sick of Movember yet?Hey everyone!<br />
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OK, so I have a question for you? Well if you read the title, I think maybe you might already have the question.<br />
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If not, read the title. I mean really, you haven't scrolled down too far yet... Odds are you can just look up. Of course if your resolution is horrible, maybe I should just restate it. Are you sick of Movember yet?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIPFuME4GuFYTyy9q9yNgCQkhuzf1eyIy3BjHmBVPj8-4c3JOEdYr5U0-NT6i4yk4lBV3taZamf-F9zl8nqChjGtcFmUCB7JrzUKa5oRug6FdzPZe8k6Wen94TcLRwUH38j_sq__KFPgAt/s1600/Mo-mullet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIPFuME4GuFYTyy9q9yNgCQkhuzf1eyIy3BjHmBVPj8-4c3JOEdYr5U0-NT6i4yk4lBV3taZamf-F9zl8nqChjGtcFmUCB7JrzUKa5oRug6FdzPZe8k6Wen94TcLRwUH38j_sq__KFPgAt/s320/Mo-mullet.jpg" width="209" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With 'staches this awesome? I don't think so.</td></tr>
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Before we go any further, let me be straight with you. I am a full supporter of Movember, and will shamelessly plug my page: (<u><span style="color: blue;"><b>http://mobro.co/mrclaus</b></span></u>) Movember is a great cause. For all you aren't aware, or just wonder why there's so many more hairy lips this month, I'll give you a brief explanation. In the month of Movember, all participants in the 'Mo Movement' shave themselves clean on November 1st, and grow whatever they can on their upper lip for the month. This is men's answer to the 'Pink Ribbon' campaign promoting awareness of breast cancer. However, the 'Hair Ribbon' is to promote awareness of prostate cancer and men's health issues. Now the more ambitious of the growers actively try and raise money as well. I am ambitious. That's why I'm hoping you'll click on my link and donate anything. I'll take a nickle if you are willing. Donations over $20 will get a tax receipt. Larger donations will earn you my affections and favours. That's right... I have no problem whoring out my dignity out for this charity. Simply make the request, and the proposed donation to me, and I will probably do it. A good example of this is the now infamous blue moustache of 2011. Yep, it's on YouTube and my Facebook. Search 'Blue Moustache' in YouTube, and you'll find my smilling visage: Or just watch it here...<br />
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<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cYG9t_yfck4/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cYG9t_yfck4?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cYG9t_yfck4?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
So for $40 dollars I was asked to mascara my mo for a day. (As a dirty blonde my 'stache is a little hard to see in the beginning, or in the end for that matter.) So after being mocked all month long, my friend Maggie at work and my sister offered a donation to dye it for the day. And doubled it if I were to dye it blue.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJhdcurdiSgh31luOy3A4cu4KPJy87d5xx6SufcgbfNFm3bKV7jkiOgAlihpsUx2VpcokMpFuUBrBI9DfQlm80XSmVemaQ8eeySLLvVpxKb8tJwkCT7gRIier40HncUBuki8MMFFSVW1NL/s1600/Blue+mo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJhdcurdiSgh31luOy3A4cu4KPJy87d5xx6SufcgbfNFm3bKV7jkiOgAlihpsUx2VpcokMpFuUBrBI9DfQlm80XSmVemaQ8eeySLLvVpxKb8tJwkCT7gRIier40HncUBuki8MMFFSVW1NL/s400/Blue+mo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One fine looking moustache!</td></tr>
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So the blue moustache was born. And I looked pretty fine if I do say so myself. I don't have any requests yet this year... But I am 100% open. Leave me a comment, or message on my donation page. Did I mention the address? (<u><span style="color: blue;"><b>http://mobro.co/mrclaus</b></span></u>) But friends, I didn't ask you here to plug my efforts this year. (Although please, please, please, donate.) I came here on the premise to talk about people being sick of Movember.<br />
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Lately I've been hearing grumblings that Movember has lost it's meaning. That now it's just a bunch of kids, growing moustaches because it's the thing to do, not because they want to raise awareness or money for the cause. I guess that's pretty fair. I kind of felt that way last year by the end as well. When I started doing this 6 years ago no-one had really heard of it. I had to explain to everyone why I all of the sudden looked like Freddie Mercury's chubbier cousin? The next year, I got a few friends to join me. The year after that, a few more... but there were still holdouts telling me that they'd prefer NOT to look like pedophiles. Thank you.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OK, so searching for a picture of pedophines in Google Images is grim. Don't do it.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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As we went, though more and more people joined in, and in fact record numbers of money are raised every year through the initiative as record people join in. Having said that though as things become mainstream and commercialized, they lose their meaning. People are doing it to be part of the crowd. Cool factor is lost as people join. To paraphrase Naomi Klien... Once something hits the mall, it's not longer cool. You can definetly buy 'Movember' t-shirts at the mall.<br />
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So if it's not cool and it's been over played.... Then people must be starting to get sick of it. I've been hearing rumblings of it from several sources, and I understand.<br />
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You know who's not getting sick of it though? Victims of cancer. Anything we can do to help them is worth it. Even if only 1% of the people are actively raising money.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNXttno3tQ_6LJLkfUZ7IwnYVgediEdg0gH-3FxZhEa_pZ9LR_dKz-y6WZ7wUvONnV-XNVmhf8Rnyv3dzz2tRWtgUzwDOJqUmXRHSF7mU4ZlADqZHrAyHhhpl9Q3EzLGSKBDUa-8CHPvku/s1600/baldy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNXttno3tQ_6LJLkfUZ7IwnYVgediEdg0gH-3FxZhEa_pZ9LR_dKz-y6WZ7wUvONnV-XNVmhf8Rnyv3dzz2tRWtgUzwDOJqUmXRHSF7mU4ZlADqZHrAyHhhpl9Q3EzLGSKBDUa-8CHPvku/s320/baldy.jpg" width="320" /></a>This year I took it a step further... I shaved my head for the cause, because I wanted to show this was about more than growing a Mo to join the crowd. A lot of people who get prostrate cancer lose their hair. I could too. A small price to pay to get people to realize this isn't just a bunch of douche bags getting together to annoy women with scratchy kisses for a month. This isn't about fitting in with the crowd. This is about helping those who need it, and stamping out a disease which will kill<a href="http://www.cancer.org/cancer/prostatecancer/detailedguide/prostate-cancer-key-statistics" target="_blank"> 1 in 36 men</a>. After I shaved my head and posted it on Facebook, I got this comment...<br />
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<a 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" 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" 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You know? I'm not sick of Movember after all.<br />
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Please donate: <b><a href="http://mobro.co/mrclaus" target="_blank">mobro.co/mrclaus</a></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygfYM8FeeFJPJZZdEJoNNRjB2U-rJjR6vgCog7uDC3TbkGmM3aYGf1VDLV3MBYr1E40OMtMsG3Mqp7eSmYmzUrDzruZ_tLtxdV9cIpkhWX5xikTdDdFhATR9RQtuLkQvshUCHv0EewJdA/s1600/IMG-20121128-00004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygfYM8FeeFJPJZZdEJoNNRjB2U-rJjR6vgCog7uDC3TbkGmM3aYGf1VDLV3MBYr1E40OMtMsG3Mqp7eSmYmzUrDzruZ_tLtxdV9cIpkhWX5xikTdDdFhATR9RQtuLkQvshUCHv0EewJdA/s320/IMG-20121128-00004.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-67570230349420195752012-10-13T14:13:00.001-07:002012-10-13T14:21:54.146-07:00Matt Sells OutWell hello everyone, and welcome to this instalment of the Meandering Mind of Matt. Well, I've decided to put my money where my mouth is and sell out. I've always really felt that Capitalism is the most effective means of innovation. Greed simply is the best way to drive forth innovation and society, and if I can put the interests of corporations over that of humans perhaps then I can finally afford one of those sweet Lamborghini's I've wanted since high school.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM7WIkg4HtDehuH_gK-IZJ58UCQcr1q58oH5eozMaDbnIjvgI-mmedB0gX7OpCZ4pEZ6-Kb_LXxuY-Vl4QE3x6_d0OfOBOf5JoHDsIfZ3mE99r6_2OCkwq5lwGtORC6Z7-8gwQvx2B6i8m/s1600/Lambrogini.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM7WIkg4HtDehuH_gK-IZJ58UCQcr1q58oH5eozMaDbnIjvgI-mmedB0gX7OpCZ4pEZ6-Kb_LXxuY-Vl4QE3x6_d0OfOBOf5JoHDsIfZ3mE99r6_2OCkwq5lwGtORC6Z7-8gwQvx2B6i8m/s320/Lambrogini.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gorgeous and environmentally friendly</td></tr>
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So to this point I've been giving away my thoughts for free, but that's not paying the bills. Well except the thoughts that I get paid for at work, but those aren't nearly as fun as these ones are, so it's time for me to start getting paid for doing this as well. So to that end, I have signed up to be a shill for Google AdSense. Look over to the right... You see those ads over there? Those are there courtesy of AdSense. So essentially what happens is AdSense reads my blog, picks out key words from my blog, and then chooses ads for corporations who seem to share my thoughts and brand ideas. They then post ads next to my blog for said corporations and I get paid.<br />
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So for instance, if I were to mention SWEATY DONKEY BALLS in my blog, in theory I should get ads for something which endorses donkey balls. For surely there could be no corporations that would do that right?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglrbeap-O8BBitvIilyPjafnJCzj-tQh-zHMdMxzPOyFVhyphenhyphen2N1HN4dgZAZjUU-o292w1ySalr6w4WaqF6PPr_Qmn6nDzCPA3mMDVR28pZg9StbeUmewpCnjkAi4vgvesXLwjsMjrNczdQ9/s1600/donkey-balls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglrbeap-O8BBitvIilyPjafnJCzj-tQh-zHMdMxzPOyFVhyphenhyphen2N1HN4dgZAZjUU-o292w1ySalr6w4WaqF6PPr_Qmn6nDzCPA3mMDVR28pZg9StbeUmewpCnjkAi4vgvesXLwjsMjrNczdQ9/s320/donkey-balls.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh....</td></tr>
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Of course, I don't just get paid for having the ads there. For me to make money, I actually have to have people click on the ads. So that's right, if you haven't clicked on an ad yet, your sitting there freeloading of my words and thoughts. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ5y-8eceCIdOgsELl8wb_7dsO-4oaL-j4w0NkThti_ceN-P6ObcGJoOtdJw9w7BmCjT7XwQcQhNWpXortEV1-hz3vCxYIALmRfkM6DHZkqlU58F9RuM6dj-ucXCScJD0Ldxv_DOPKHzGu/s1600/leech-therapy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ5y-8eceCIdOgsELl8wb_7dsO-4oaL-j4w0NkThti_ceN-P6ObcGJoOtdJw9w7BmCjT7XwQcQhNWpXortEV1-hz3vCxYIALmRfkM6DHZkqlU58F9RuM6dj-ucXCScJD0Ldxv_DOPKHzGu/s320/leech-therapy.jpg" width="188" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is you eating my brain non ad-clickers!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Of course, having said that, one of the rules of being on AdSense that that I can't actually tell you to click the ads. For some reason they feel like that's cheating. People who click the ads, have to do so on their own free will. So PLEASE do not click on the ads unless it something that you want to do without my influence. The only thing I can do is help you along is type words in that will pull up ads that you actually want to click on.<br />
<br />
FREE ROCK CONCERT TICKETS!<br />
FREE VIDEO GAMES!<br />
FREE SHOES!<br />
BOOBS! LOTS OF BOOBS!!!<br />
<br />
Boy, do I know my demographics. Well, at the very least I know that most of my friends will like one of things on the above list. And I put shoes on there, because women love shoes right? Ummm, OK, I'll admit it, I still don't understand women. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXn4eIOufN2z2rhVUMt6huQYxsJDHfKWhvewlPxiI6AK674UICOcIuWF3Oa341p7JBbST_jPNKAZEFi3iBMWTHDogjXifkdRpD1IV-yXPQIU-l6aaq80dHRrZpDOx3ArpSHXNlAtzeodRw/s1600/crazy+cat.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXn4eIOufN2z2rhVUMt6huQYxsJDHfKWhvewlPxiI6AK674UICOcIuWF3Oa341p7JBbST_jPNKAZEFi3iBMWTHDogjXifkdRpD1IV-yXPQIU-l6aaq80dHRrZpDOx3ArpSHXNlAtzeodRw/s1600/crazy+cat.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another me? I'm a little scared.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So as well, I'm not allowed to click on the ads myself, not even to test them out. That hardly seems fair does it? I mean I guess they don't want me padding my clicks and thinking that I'm going to buy the things the ads bring up. Which doesn't really seem fair does it? I mean what if some awesome ad for a free video game concert surrounded by boobs comes up? I'm not allowed to click it! Someone else had better type that in as well, and I can find their blog I suppose. Of course I don't know too many people that have the same thoughts as me. Or at least any that have a forum like this where they dare share them.<br />
<br />
So having said that... I feel a little like Wayne giving it up for the choice of a new generation.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoGjJMQf32qBeZFRt8jI4jCqef-IK6N8YUVyRdoys0b3ng27EGqxnI-nct7mGNlLcE-pB3XsPhU1csLHvLMVN17kKWjltV-GAVxhw89cjsGqu2-GiFwafcEPnrhN1taz9QTAWlUItZ_ZbU/s1600/Waynes+World.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoGjJMQf32qBeZFRt8jI4jCqef-IK6N8YUVyRdoys0b3ng27EGqxnI-nct7mGNlLcE-pB3XsPhU1csLHvLMVN17kKWjltV-GAVxhw89cjsGqu2-GiFwafcEPnrhN1taz9QTAWlUItZ_ZbU/s320/Waynes+World.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah Baby, Yeah!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Although brilliant satire, Pepsi Co. paid a lot to have that scene put in the movie. So Wayne making fun of sell-outs by selling out. How does one do this without being a hypocrite? It's simple, one embraces the devil, and accepts that corporations are our overlords. Some have a good sense of humour perhaps, but all own us, and as soon as we can accept that, the sooner we can start to enjoy our lives of captivity. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeqk9nx-LoqQSrxcxCbr5Avp2QrPes0Zm-Sscfbm83d4_P_XqhtnHjzV64na6Wz8bgq4p9Ro0nD3c7n0E8MXjdE80D1nSmaBqAmQJ-n6hZMOlc00ZO7Cj1DuMN3u7yOMOhdxvRlT_puhrW/s1600/walmart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeqk9nx-LoqQSrxcxCbr5Avp2QrPes0Zm-Sscfbm83d4_P_XqhtnHjzV64na6Wz8bgq4p9Ro0nD3c7n0E8MXjdE80D1nSmaBqAmQJ-n6hZMOlc00ZO7Cj1DuMN3u7yOMOhdxvRlT_puhrW/s1600/walmart.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Support 3rd world industry at ridiculously low prices</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I mean lets face facts, we live in a consumer world, and the only way its going to work is if corporations can give us consumers what we are looking for. The most effective way of doing this is advertising. And in this day of PVRs allowing us to skip commercials, and downloaded Internet TV shows, advertising agencies need to adapt from there traditional ways. I'm pretty sure my blog can be that way. Who cares if I don't personally endorse some of the business practises of the corporations right? I mean I can be a vessel for them to send their message across without supporting child labour right? Michael Jordan is an ambassador for the sport of basketball, a stand up member of the community, a pillar of society. Nike is not known for their fair treatment of their workers. In fact, the word sweat shop often comes up when talking about the manufacturing of the swoosh shoe.<br />
<br />
Michael Jordan isn't evil right?<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUKepapZ1zPaV24Yxz19Hm6tPI8CWwPp00NRBFXEEnODyc60Sha0sOakb4UHOEOzkvLqk3z6Qi2TIFc-mg-juOwS8d80GvzPiyIizRDcOJjcD1N_K3DRcEB0CJt3tRUBLjRfx8Dz3D9kOc/s1600/Michael-Jordans-Hitler-Mustache.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUKepapZ1zPaV24Yxz19Hm6tPI8CWwPp00NRBFXEEnODyc60Sha0sOakb4UHOEOzkvLqk3z6Qi2TIFc-mg-juOwS8d80GvzPiyIizRDcOJjcD1N_K3DRcEB0CJt3tRUBLjRfx8Dz3D9kOc/s320/Michael-Jordans-Hitler-Mustache.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ummmm.... Nuts.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Okay.... I'm having a little bit of an issue here. I'm really trying to justify putting these ads on my blog, but I don't know that I can in good conscious... What if my ironic commentary starts to bring ironic t-shirt ads? Then what if hipsters start flooding to my website, leaving comments about the 'Sleigh Bells' (You haven't heard of them.) and copying my style, yet again. That's right, I was geek before they were hipsters. What posers.<br />
<br />
Oh, one last rule, I have to keep things clean and non-controversial. I mean, insulting Google AdSense, Wal*Mart, Pepsi, Mike Myers, Michael Jordan, The Sleigh Bells, Hipsters, Donkey Balls and that crazy kitten can't be all that bad. However, I could have my ads pulled if they don't like what I have to say. Worst case scenario, they could possibly censor me.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu5sMo11XByPm7FdE1FzzFrVKkmnz50xg0qUjg3vdFDgnpC16tzWGPvxzHHMq1bMmPUSPv1RizMznnUL6j0ZLrxe40hXWG2qKsc0c9_IFpdpoZ3107u7WZewGVDJxCEwJWeDoyVGm79y8w/s1600/Boy-being-punished.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu5sMo11XByPm7FdE1FzzFrVKkmnz50xg0qUjg3vdFDgnpC16tzWGPvxzHHMq1bMmPUSPv1RizMznnUL6j0ZLrxe40hXWG2qKsc0c9_IFpdpoZ3107u7WZewGVDJxCEwJWeDoyVGm79y8w/s320/Boy-being-punished.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Will I be punished by Ad-Sense?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I refuse to be censored! If they even try, I'm going to <span style="background-color: black;">BE super mad!<span style="background-color: white;"> I absolutely refuse to <span style="background-color: black;">abide by their rules!!!<span style="background-color: white;"> I am my own person,and my thoughts are my own. If they try to shut me up, I will <span style="background-color: black;">politely refuse, and then continue<span style="background-color: white;"></span> writing.</span></span></span></span></span> But I'm sure that would never happen.<br />
<br />
So in conclusion, please don't click on the ads because I told you to, click on them because you too want to sell out to the corporate overlords. Buy things and make the economy work. Support things, and not humanity. And above all, don't think of selling out as a bad thing. Think of it as understanding that the world works better if we all work together and stop being individuals and obey those who know best. Like me...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTdFeTU1lxYlw0N-1G_tgIlAQ35hn0IVOiukvF52ZS_cbo5pMxdC6xn6jEmY8P6xoJGv2w_7w5hR58l6rG7qnUkD8LTiw9ou9XmZ8EdVxqWgWrKqx_rA_fg9alK1f2o0oygZ64p4cad2G0/s1600/cow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTdFeTU1lxYlw0N-1G_tgIlAQ35hn0IVOiukvF52ZS_cbo5pMxdC6xn6jEmY8P6xoJGv2w_7w5hR58l6rG7qnUkD8LTiw9ou9XmZ8EdVxqWgWrKqx_rA_fg9alK1f2o0oygZ64p4cad2G0/s640/cow.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black;">Absolutely hilarious censored caption goes here.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-45982602467961991652012-09-11T21:41:00.002-07:002012-09-11T21:42:54.137-07:00The Sunwing Fiasco<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACsa7Wmk-V5uvyXmxBr_tGCiIuzDTZYHNRYL3wxjhCHyocIFnL-JzYwUWhqecea54YTVXyRh0NQayKs5LIwi0q7qJYfTS_tQS4ukUeYRKyuVKefIdLR2H5PJqV6bT8aRL42r9F0v8u4tQ/s1600/sunwing+babe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACsa7Wmk-V5uvyXmxBr_tGCiIuzDTZYHNRYL3wxjhCHyocIFnL-JzYwUWhqecea54YTVXyRh0NQayKs5LIwi0q7qJYfTS_tQS4ukUeYRKyuVKefIdLR2H5PJqV6bT8aRL42r9F0v8u4tQ/s320/sunwing+babe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So this wasn't my vacation, but recent research has shown<br />
that boobs as my title picture earns more hits! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So I'm USUALLY a pretty happy go lucky guy. Very much go with the flow, enjoy where life takes you, <insert your own inspirational cliche here.>, type dude who doesn't get rattled very easily. <br />
<br />
Often, you'll find me smiling, and high fiving people for fun, and complimenting others on how awesome they are too! (Yes I know what the 'too' implies, and I'm good with my conceitedness.)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAkYVpctMCR5y6D_zCNbpEonO88fyETTOaiHGkDZVH8Tv746uUXi0VHZ5JOBDbQ9N1oKMkONWiLyTIV1UQPFDwPqSkS1fi9W9T0E9QETvdqEwbflGx_oMMcHNf3zJ7ORJqeOU6X3eFMIpg/s1600/SharonLoisBram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAkYVpctMCR5y6D_zCNbpEonO88fyETTOaiHGkDZVH8Tv746uUXi0VHZ5JOBDbQ9N1oKMkONWiLyTIV1UQPFDwPqSkS1fi9W9T0E9QETvdqEwbflGx_oMMcHNf3zJ7ORJqeOU6X3eFMIpg/s320/SharonLoisBram.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This means Mattie is about to explode...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
However if you see me overly happy, like singing 'Sharon Lois and Bram' songs when I have no earth reason to be doing so, that might be a warning. I don't know why 'Skinamarinky Dinky Dink' is such a good anger release for me, but it really works. Usually accompanied by a large grin on my face etched on in stone, and a crazed look in my eyes. This means I'm upset. (Or possibly I just had an orgasm... Only I know the difference.) <br />
<br />
Anyhow, I'm going to tell you a tale of a little company called Sunwing, and how they ruined one day of my life. But as with anything crazy fiasco, I came out with a reasonably good story, so it's all worth it. Plus my 'Elephant Song' skills got so well practiced, Bram had better watch out.<br />
<br />
So... Last year in July I decided to take a trip to Rome. I was flying solo as I had been having considerable personal issues, and decided I needed to get away to sort my head out. I had always wanted to go to Rome, and had the opportunity, so I jumped on it. (I was told afterwards it was kind of the plot of 'Eat, Pray, Love', but that is not near manly enough, so I will call it 'Rambo goes to Italy').<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJPGssEJzem14ZOjnrP1xmnHA8nx-RZ4vA9NPLIh1_2f2EMcWuGIHu3DPZS_2VrHCOOUicxpgCrn-TE7mqZ6UhTioqwFybq2baKDzgpTUpzGVhOPmr48eKvmK9xYbHHL6MXlJQFmTu6GAk/s1600/Rambo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJPGssEJzem14ZOjnrP1xmnHA8nx-RZ4vA9NPLIh1_2f2EMcWuGIHu3DPZS_2VrHCOOUicxpgCrn-TE7mqZ6UhTioqwFybq2baKDzgpTUpzGVhOPmr48eKvmK9xYbHHL6MXlJQFmTu6GAk/s400/Rambo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maybe my worst photoshop ever.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
So I booked a do-it-yourself vacation through the Flight Centre at Limeridge through a kind of cute Italian girl. She set me up with a hotel, a flight, an assurance that I could take the train from the airport to downtown Rome, and get a quick subway to my hotel with ease, and her phone number. Well, it might have been a phone number to the Flight Centre, but at my age you take what you can get. (On a side note, she just emailed me the other day saying she hadn't seen me in a while. And uh... that she had some great deals to Spain.) All was set, I was good to go for a weeks vacation in the Eternal City.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSRCiNLkjvB9A-vbcAF5gN2tC53NMKjzEMeBaZL7844qZ9G2oj20aDfXE4ztfm4rRiv2doBP8KFf1vugOVZwggC2Blw7szDmdVb4o3hw4wsiW6U2wKu7GXsayqOP-tpO3AmJNHjacLJ81F/s1600/polar+bear.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSRCiNLkjvB9A-vbcAF5gN2tC53NMKjzEMeBaZL7844qZ9G2oj20aDfXE4ztfm4rRiv2doBP8KFf1vugOVZwggC2Blw7szDmdVb4o3hw4wsiW6U2wKu7GXsayqOP-tpO3AmJNHjacLJ81F/s400/polar+bear.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This bear represents my level of stress at the beginning of my trip...</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Now when you fly from Toronto to Rome, you should know it is about a 8-9 hour flight. With the time change, I set my flight to leave at 10pm so I could arrive in Rome in the early afternoon and have the evening to explore. I arrived at the airport early, and had a lovely dinner with my parents who dropped me off. Calmly meandered through security, laughing at those dopes who were stressed out and late for their flights, generally being in total vacation mode and not having a care in the world! I found my way down to the gate I was leaving from, checked that the flight was Sunwing Toronto to Rome, and then settled in at the bar to get a beer. (Tuborg if I recall correctly.) After a couple of pops and a pleasant chat with the bartender, I wandered back to my gate with about an hour until flight time. (About 9 pm.)<br />
<br />
I found it a little odd that they hadn't started the boarding procedures yet, making announcements, getting the old farts and people who need a little extra time lined up and the like, but stress was not a word in my vocabulary. I updated my facebook, smiled at the woman sitting across from me, and pulled out my airplane novel. (I always bring a book to read on planes.) If I'd been paying attention, I'd have noticed that the sign changed from On-Time to Delayed. I wasn't. <br />
<br />
9:45 rolled around and finally they started making announcements. (Really late for this sort of thing in my opinion, but at least things were moving.) First off they apologized for the delay, but they were having technical difficulties and that the flight was to be delayed for 3 hours, and would be leaving at 1 am. However, for our inconvenience we were more than welcome to help ourselves to a $10 food voucher to get a bite to eat while waiting. There were upset to angry level groans from all the passengers waiting in the lounge, and that pleasant lady sitting across from me slapped her leg in disgust so audibly people turned their heads to look. I suspect she got a bruise. I myself, being Mr. non-stress, decided that's OK. I'd rather they fix the plane then put us on defective flight.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6lSrMustYfpyDVFUGCPJnCxbZ3tyoZ0ZnUNBx6xeh9QXRXicoEhykw_L2vfib4NjbEX8MlEw_bbX9x0mTqktGQzja9Ix8iw57hlXDN5hW56ea2oXkhzBuzNFWjgCy0ncULu1-k_685kh4/s1600/stampede.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6lSrMustYfpyDVFUGCPJnCxbZ3tyoZ0ZnUNBx6xeh9QXRXicoEhykw_L2vfib4NjbEX8MlEw_bbX9x0mTqktGQzja9Ix8iw57hlXDN5hW56ea2oXkhzBuzNFWjgCy0ncULu1-k_685kh4/s320/stampede.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMG I HAVE TO BE FIRST IN LINE!!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
While the rest the passengers rushed the clerks at the desk for their coupons, I sat back and read my book a little more. Hell I knew I was going to be there for 3 more hours at least, no rush, the restaurants aren't going anywhere. Although the relative level of stress was going up in the room, and that will rub off on anyone. I did the math and figured that I'd arrive in Rome around 6, which meant my evening stroll was out, but I could still hit some nightlife perhaps. C'est la vie... I smiled to myself, not quite a Sharon, Lois and Bram level smile, but the beginning of less than perfect. After the crowd had left, I wandered up and got my voucher. The clerk apologized profusely... I told him not to worry about it, these things happen, thanked him and gave him a winning smile. He looked visibly relieved. I'd guess the last 50 people told him where to go, how to get there, and several options of things he could do when he arrived.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdl0RaB8OF3X-bxP9h7aOVj7nwQl-6snXUdYQUijEU9Evpy-YD5Zua0d7T9dBGVlAS5m1q3s_9Z1IHJI6hHAhG8zcLmU5Ue1OA6AaX-hyJVNan3KOZhaPwnd47EtOG9m5O7jbVtCdLcjLX/s1600/Dr-Beer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdl0RaB8OF3X-bxP9h7aOVj7nwQl-6snXUdYQUijEU9Evpy-YD5Zua0d7T9dBGVlAS5m1q3s_9Z1IHJI6hHAhG8zcLmU5Ue1OA6AaX-hyJVNan3KOZhaPwnd47EtOG9m5O7jbVtCdLcjLX/s320/Dr-Beer.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Canadian medical system at it's best.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I wandered back over to the bar, sat down at my seat, and looked at the crazy lineup at the grill. No way I was going in that thing, another beer is just what the doctor ordered. I asked my bartender who looked a little frazzled after this sudden unexpected rush if my coupon was good for Tuborg, and he explained calmly that it wasn't. Not completely unexpected, so I ponied up the cash, settled down at the bar, and took a sip of that icy cold joy. A brief conversation with my barkeep let me know that he was supposed to close down at 11:00, and now at 10:30 and a lineup to the grill part out the door, there was no way that was happening. I empathized with him, and let him know he was appreciated. He laughed and told me that I'd better get some food if I wanted some, as the grill closing at 11 thing might happen if I wanted it too or not, and then my coupon would be for not. I looked over at the sandwich rack, and saw $10 worth of airport sushi, and asked him if I could pay him for that instead. He said no problem, so I gave him the coupon, a tip and the last of my Canadian funds for one last beer and enjoyed my meal surrounded by angry vacationers, the smile on my face now locked into place, humming quietly to myself.<br />
<br />
So midnight rolls around, and most people got fed and started grumbling and shuffling back to the gate. Sure this was a pain, but at least we'd be boarding soon and getting on our way. I strolled back, a little worse for wear, but ultimately still in an OK mood, and sat down on a bench and pulled my book out again. The delayed until 1 am sign was still prominently displayed on the board, so everything was still status quo. The clerks were still busy fielding questions from angry customers, but I suppose that was to be a little expected.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Ymlwtn6dATCU2CuxsRrKtwJUEmT8M_Bc01SkHFwpXqGrYXEmEDDNXQxsaOto7ZMf01S6DCV4MTy6rZHtTijlLqjyuxwISrxGJ4WRBgOx0PUX2QRaBtHEWIyF3SPPAMizm35Z2yEz6bDz/s1600/angry-child.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Ymlwtn6dATCU2CuxsRrKtwJUEmT8M_Bc01SkHFwpXqGrYXEmEDDNXQxsaOto7ZMf01S6DCV4MTy6rZHtTijlLqjyuxwISrxGJ4WRBgOx0PUX2QRaBtHEWIyF3SPPAMizm35Z2yEz6bDz/s320/angry-child.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Average crowd reaction</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Then the loudspeaker sounded again. I smiled waiting for the soothing sounds of 'We will begin boarding...'. I was disappointed. Once again the words poured from the speakers.... "We'd like to apologize." The crowd groaned worse than before, I wondered if slappy leg lady just punched her husband in the face. "The flight from Toronto to Rome has once again been delayed and will postponed until 10 am tomorrow morning. Please return to Terminal 1 at 7am tomorrow morning to get your new ticket and arrive through security. Those customers who need accommodations for the night please see the clerks." Or something like that anyway. There were shouts of discontent and outright anger from the customers, and the mob swarmed the desk of the two unfortunate Sunwing employees who were scheduled to be there with no direction from management who I am sure were sleeping snuggly in their beds made of our money.<br />
<br />
One of them asked us loudly to please be calm, while some customer were literally screaming at them. They had to call the police, which may have been a bit of an over-reaction, but honestly I'm pretty sure one fellow was ready to get into fisticuffs with them.<br />
<br />
I sat back on the bench knowing that I didn't want to get to the front of that line. I had no car, and the drive back to my home was about an hour, so I figured they'd put me into a hotel for the night, so I could at least get a couple hours sleep, and get to Rome about... 2am? GOD DAMN IT!!!! Now I've lost a day in Rome because of mother f***'n Sunwing's incompetence. I mean get a replacement plane in or something. Then I calmed down. This sucked, but ultimately it still could have been a lot worse. Besides, I got a live version of Cops happening right in front of me, and Yelly McYellerson was about to get arrested. (He didn't, for some reason the spectre of a large peace officer seemed to calm him down two pegs.) I continued to Facebook the whole experience. Take a look at my timeline in July 2011 for the full as it happened details.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuRai_bkAbSJzy5xIqpYDMcDMobN-66nyRFKrZaEFZpdVoLD0-phUfUzF47PUNenl0Ixg420VBXDlZ77rqAqllsCokqyDk_zUwvDCBd4wJOMzxpMt6TAOABUFcltQTX3JitD2hNVi04hAU/s1600/Real-riot-pic_682_1161523a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuRai_bkAbSJzy5xIqpYDMcDMobN-66nyRFKrZaEFZpdVoLD0-phUfUzF47PUNenl0Ixg420VBXDlZ77rqAqllsCokqyDk_zUwvDCBd4wJOMzxpMt6TAOABUFcltQTX3JitD2hNVi04hAU/s320/Real-riot-pic_682_1161523a.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#Occupy Sunwing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So everyone went up to the desk to get their hotel accommodations, or they were offering limos to those who lived close by. By my math, if I took the limo, I'd likely get out of the airport by 1:30 to 2, be back in Hamilton by 3, sleep for 2 hours, get up and come back. That sounded awful, so I figured I'd go for the hotel, and get 4 hours sleep. I wandered over to the back of the line, and heard mumblings that since it was so late there were no hotel rooms left. Figuring that the grapevine is usually correct, I started softly singing under my breath... "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" and formed a plan on how to handle this. I got up to the desk and smiled at the clerk who was a little more frazzled than before. He apologized like he had said it about 500 too many times, and asked if I needed a ride.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJow2EpjXnpy8hN6GyZ_QrgVZoEBzaclAT0A2yHP8LS_iY7pKg45d76JBT0yFCiB3dcdQTI6ik96ta3esOHpSpZVFhlhxrchyphenhyphentSIq0sdQkRfZPSe5oBimE0hu88OuxC6n6otbByEvjVS6M/s1600/Sleep-at-an-Airport.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJow2EpjXnpy8hN6GyZ_QrgVZoEBzaclAT0A2yHP8LS_iY7pKg45d76JBT0yFCiB3dcdQTI6ik96ta3esOHpSpZVFhlhxrchyphenhyphentSIq0sdQkRfZPSe5oBimE0hu88OuxC6n6otbByEvjVS6M/s320/Sleep-at-an-Airport.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now that's comfort!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I explained my situation, and that a hotel room would be much more suitable for my needs. His face dropped, and launched into a speech he had also said more that a few times. "I apologize, but we are out of hotel rooms, and we need to reserve them for people who are out of limo range... etc.) I said, I understood and then did some math for him. A limo ride from Toronto to Hamilton runs about $150 each way. That's $300 Sunwing would have to pay so I could get 2 hours sleep. How about instead, you give me a $20 coupon for breakfast in the morning, and I'd be happy to curl up in the lounge here for the night, and at least get a little sleep. He looked at me like I just spoke some sort of crazy moon man language.<br />
<br />
"I'm sorry sir we can't do that. We can get you a limo if you like." So I again asked if Sunwing was aware that $300 was a lot more than $20, and that this was totally OK with me to be compensated less. He said again, he was sorry, that he didn't have the power to make that decision. So I shrugged, said OK, and took my limo voucher.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpS0uZyucB6A2TkQtjLpJaAGN2Jnm108Zd1M86lLQKef5ZnKvbfyVVXtGfw9rIUU_6sR96y4Lliin81JaMNwUvygtfZIuJldWcDJVO21ks4KYjbdVaOMHWUjptRP6O60UmLzRumHW1v9d3/s1600/airport+security.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpS0uZyucB6A2TkQtjLpJaAGN2Jnm108Zd1M86lLQKef5ZnKvbfyVVXtGfw9rIUU_6sR96y4Lliin81JaMNwUvygtfZIuJldWcDJVO21ks4KYjbdVaOMHWUjptRP6O60UmLzRumHW1v9d3/s320/airport+security.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Airport Security: Ignoring logic since 2001</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Smile glued to my face, singing to myself I started walking back through Terminal to where you the limos are, I spotted a Police Officer leaving as well, so I walked over to him and said hi. He wondered why I looked so happy, and I explained, I was chalking this up to "Shit Happens" and I could either scream or laugh at how stupid the whole situation was, so I might as well laugh for all the good it would do me. He told me that was a pretty good attitude and we started chatting while walking to the exit/entrance. On the way a whole bunch of my fellow passengers came up to him, and explained they had been rebuffed by security because you can't go through security the wrong way. The officer laughed, and then led us like Moses through the Red Sea of red tape, and delivered us to the limos. Luckily since I had waiting until the line had died down, I didn't have to wait very long for my ride. I hopped in and said take me to Hamilton and asked if he had a Raffi tape we could listen to. I also asked if he wanted to hang out at Tim Hortons for a couple hours and bring me back to the airport, because, really what was the point of going to bed. It was the end of his shift, so he politely declined the weirdo who wouldn't stop smiling and sang childish songs.<br />
<br />
He did however have a limo sent to me at 5:30 am, and dropped me off at home two get my two hours sleep and a Cappuccino made in my Tassimo. That was as close to Italy as I got that day.<br />
<br />
Day 2:<br />
<br />
OK bear with me, I know this has been a long story so far, but it's almost over. I just want to let you know how Sunwing handled the next morning.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7MjSrzTQHspGCFbcY9XwD6xarYkHJpZubyxN2u-ctvb69_6fn7kgYoAXy5Mlujp3TQjRstC8yIEGD4TH0U6nCfysFl5frgn7_ucN8L4rVZoGJjUUQnIp5qos4KgKXPV59-wGdE_chyphenhyphenKO7/s1600/Sunwing+Rainbow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7MjSrzTQHspGCFbcY9XwD6xarYkHJpZubyxN2u-ctvb69_6fn7kgYoAXy5Mlujp3TQjRstC8yIEGD4TH0U6nCfysFl5frgn7_ucN8L4rVZoGJjUUQnIp5qos4KgKXPV59-wGdE_chyphenhyphenKO7/s400/Sunwing+Rainbow.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All rainbows!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
So I got back into my limo, and arrived at the airport at 6:45. Smile still etched on my face, I made my way up to the ticket counter and approached the young lady working the check-in. I explained that I was one of the happy customers who's flight to Italy was delayed, and who was asked to come back in this morning to continue my amazing adventure.<br />
<br />
Her face went gravely serious, and she looked me straight in the eye and said...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"<b>I'm sorry sir, that flight already left</b>."</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUqGjngYgbS6e5zpcSrMJ7Z_7lE4QrXK3HL5paiteieQ3nDM3Bda_t8gWdQN2ob3wqINXt-bcgssE8EfVJFWOD-KoFVs1578_XYUnkuxT4dAF-MsvQyr7q59sCwsPK5AmYn0xYhvdWKQBP/s1600/face_shock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUqGjngYgbS6e5zpcSrMJ7Z_7lE4QrXK3HL5paiteieQ3nDM3Bda_t8gWdQN2ob3wqINXt-bcgssE8EfVJFWOD-KoFVs1578_XYUnkuxT4dAF-MsvQyr7q59sCwsPK5AmYn0xYhvdWKQBP/s320/face_shock.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My reaction</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Then she smiled again, and said:<br />
<br />
"Oh I'm only kidding, but it did change gates, here let me get you a new boarding pass."<br />
<br />
I'm not sure how many times she told that to people that morning, but I'm surprised slappy leg lady didn't get put up on murder charges. All in all, it was pretty damn hilarious, but wow! That's some balls. (Also the fact that she was quite good looking helped.)<br />
<br />
Anyhow, I'll save the rest of the details, but I got through security, paid for my own breakfast, got the gate switched twice, and finally got to board the plane on time. (12 hours late on time that is.)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjGxhiqLYHbPY-in0a6APw2KjV3wmJpSHStCXo1kOcDICREkiH0p0J6viHQyjbgr3_rhdNY4GdJwa0JyFLMW9SvoJY_S5NpJcAVX-J40ZnI8TIL9VCzaea87iQmdR3BfGv_rte2xXkQlTa/s1600/sorry_puppy_png.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjGxhiqLYHbPY-in0a6APw2KjV3wmJpSHStCXo1kOcDICREkiH0p0J6viHQyjbgr3_rhdNY4GdJwa0JyFLMW9SvoJY_S5NpJcAVX-J40ZnI8TIL9VCzaea87iQmdR3BfGv_rte2xXkQlTa/s1600/sorry_puppy_png.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ahhhh, who can stay mad at that...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As we were getting on the plane, there was one extra Sunwing employee there this morning apologizing and handing everyone a photocopied piece of paper.<br />
<br />
"On behalf of Sunwing, we'd like to apologize for the delays, and we'd like you to have this gift from us to you to make up for any inconveniences this may have caused you, our valued customer."<br />
<br />
I was moved... My angry smile melted away, and a sincere smile replaced it. Sharon, Lois and Bram were replaced in my heart by something much more appropriate. Let's say Milli Vanilli. It's nice to see that the big bad an evil corporation decided upon itself to make a gesture saying, I know we fucked up, and we're sorry. You have plans and you decided to make Sunwing apart of it, and we dropped the ball. We can't make up for the day in Rome you lost, but at least we can give you a little something back.<br />
<br />
I sat down and got comfortable in my chair and opened the folded piece of paper, and read the following:<br />
<br />
"We apologize for any inconvenience, please accept this voucher for $75 off your next Sunwing vacation. Valid until the end of the year."<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpaMm2F6ooekquvA1777Kkm-HjgrRwlystA3S2SYMDfQ_nxL3zm322q4WjM9B60IhMgTf8HfxlNzQn0n95o3CGtCUX2UmnGJ-ceKpMrU8aV9aYD7Vx3rmRBpBl66STpYmhxxrSHxYLxdqw/s1600/Duck_head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpaMm2F6ooekquvA1777Kkm-HjgrRwlystA3S2SYMDfQ_nxL3zm322q4WjM9B60IhMgTf8HfxlNzQn0n95o3CGtCUX2UmnGJ-ceKpMrU8aV9aYD7Vx3rmRBpBl66STpYmhxxrSHxYLxdqw/s320/Duck_head.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There is no picture that can explain how angry this made me, so here is a duck.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
So I guess my day of lost vacation which I spent multiple thousands of dollars on through Sunwing on was worth a $75 coupon which would expire before I got more vacation time. As well the coupon was for a Sunwing vacation, which frankly I wouldn't book with again for anything less than free. (Well I might spend as much as $75 on an all inclusive week to Cuba with Sunwing.) But really, talk about a bad customer experience. I threw the coupon out.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, I do not endorse Sunwing, and will not being using them any time in the future. I know this has been really long, but for those who held out through my entire long and boring story, here's a coupon...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJpLhkdnKQKN08DjpPLlFUwQiwD17kJB6BxQOEgK1LB0gPx5gSGriOzD_m6X_x3ckycsU2XB2GRgSTMNH2WMhFV7j07FwfDJ9UdG9WZNQljbxkFKEb3tqRgI1cVsmYsLMj4XsQjqbiG0UV/s1600/coupon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJpLhkdnKQKN08DjpPLlFUwQiwD17kJB6BxQOEgK1LB0gPx5gSGriOzD_m6X_x3ckycsU2XB2GRgSTMNH2WMhFV7j07FwfDJ9UdG9WZNQljbxkFKEb3tqRgI1cVsmYsLMj4XsQjqbiG0UV/s320/coupon.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With my sincere apologies for the sheer length of this read.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Good, now go sing the "Elephant Song".<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-47459014488597332792012-08-26T20:40:00.001-07:002012-08-26T20:46:55.812-07:00My Dirty FantasiesSo I am always curious about what brings people to my blog. It's a most curious thing. I obviously get a bunch of hits when I first post a blog. Mostly from my friends who follow my facebook and twitter. (And the 3 people that follow me on Google+.) I can also see stats on when, where, and what search brought them to my blog. The searches interest me the most, because it gives me a good idea about what interests people enough to have them click on some strangers musings.<br />
<br />
<div align="left">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><div align="left">
</div>
<div align="left">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2WS-E0bDOkt7GRBI7hGvJh7HhDXuLY9fXw0zMpQDZHrDvhbGri9DLOtgcjgY3JDWNAGmOT15DYvfHwSOaXapNOKZpeW7E8BbS8lhWG4wS9uFgyty_n3YG8T3OVNK52ZhesvKTdvFLzMoa/s1600/Cleavage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2WS-E0bDOkt7GRBI7hGvJh7HhDXuLY9fXw0zMpQDZHrDvhbGri9DLOtgcjgY3JDWNAGmOT15DYvfHwSOaXapNOKZpeW7E8BbS8lhWG4wS9uFgyty_n3YG8T3OVNK52ZhesvKTdvFLzMoa/s320/Cleavage.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This picture is unrelated, but probably will increase<br />
my blog hits by about 7 times.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div align="left">
So what are the most searched for things you ask? Well, you probably aren't asking this, but I'm going to tell you anyway. "Record Player" and "Surfing Unicorn" are number one and number two respectively. Both are from my blog <a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.ca/2012/03/this-picture-kicks-almost-too-much-ass.html" target="_blank">"More Controversial Stuff From My Brain"</a>. The third is "Joel Higgins" (<a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.ca/2012/03/legend-of-immortal-joel-higgins.html" target="_blank">"Legend of Immortal Joel Higgins")</a> and fourth is "Atheist vs. Christian" (<a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.ca/2012/02/atheists-and-other-beliefs.html" target="_blank">"Atheists and Other Beliefs")</a> Which by the way are my number two and one viewed blog both getting about 1.5 hits a day. My first ever blog (<a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.ca/2012/01/blogging.html" target="_blank">Blogging)</a> has only 45 hits, and I don't expect it to ever get any more. It is kind of lame with no awesome pictures like the one shown here. Also, on an unrelated note. I do have one search of "skydiving loser" which brought someone to my page. Never have I brought up skydiving in all my ramblings although I probably have mentioned the word loser. I don't understand Google searches sometimes. </div>
<div align="left">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnDOvCt7fPPbfrqLoqK9q78VANh8jSX9mUYe-UHvuxsklrpBDrvZnBKao29D9INSdUmmLrtIdHY1uXQFTTTClwoSonBwCQ0vp5OJFSdG9TD9nvj_NtzZzcOxJnEilkOBpoHLXy7itaHETZ/s1600/candy+cane+mousache.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnDOvCt7fPPbfrqLoqK9q78VANh8jSX9mUYe-UHvuxsklrpBDrvZnBKao29D9INSdUmmLrtIdHY1uXQFTTTClwoSonBwCQ0vp5OJFSdG9TD9nvj_NtzZzcOxJnEilkOBpoHLXy7itaHETZ/s320/candy+cane+mousache.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Check out my Movember pictures<br />
if you really want to see a narcissist.</td></tr>
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The other thing that I have found to the people I have talked to about my blog is that they are most likely to read my blog if it has an interesting title. I am sure this is why <a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.ca/2012/06/obamacare-isnt-that-bad.html" target="_blank">"Obamacare Isn't That Bad"</a> despite being one of my personally funnier blogs and why <a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.ca/2012/06/language-may-be-offence-to-some.html" target="_blank">"Language May be Offensive to Some"</a> got 100 hits in a day. This may be why you clicked on this link, because My Dirty Fantasies sounds kind of sexy, and why you are probably disappointed that I've so far only done a lot of self promoting links. </div>
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What can I say, I'm a little narcissistic. The truth of the matter is this, this August for some reason I can't fathom, my blog has gotten over 100 hits more than any other month, despite only having one post. So since I have my personal best, I figure I might as well shoot the moon, and try and post something that should get a bunch of hits because it's sexy, fun, and mostly has a great picture of boobs on it. And lets face it who doesn't love boobs. Boobs boobs boobs! The more times I say it, the more likely it is to come up in your search engine. Hmmm... I wonder if there are any other websites that relate to boobs. I doubt it. The Internet is sooooo prudish!</div>
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Okay, well enough of the shameless self promotion. You came to hear my fantasies, and as promised you will hear them. (At least the few of you who actually read this far with out getting sick of the above prattling...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_q9is4L7xoJ2OlwWkvmi0bIw34Gz4wDAU3Etr81NTdH5Z_GHtU3wU69R338eXLBL3SYbxa2L7T8RRklfltBvUeKKpnvfSdTy1yzOwEdiUm2WX1TLUlBx_mXGmGSB8ErYh809_Zvdz4R9H/s1600/sexy+handcuffs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_q9is4L7xoJ2OlwWkvmi0bIw34Gz4wDAU3Etr81NTdH5Z_GHtU3wU69R338eXLBL3SYbxa2L7T8RRklfltBvUeKKpnvfSdTy1yzOwEdiUm2WX1TLUlBx_mXGmGSB8ErYh809_Zvdz4R9H/s1600/sexy+handcuffs.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nothing says sexy like Houndini's magic tricks...</td></tr>
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I hate to say it, but my fantasies aren't exactly "50 Shades of Gray". In fact I've never read it, nor do I have the desire to. I understand the basic premise, and while I am sure this craze of "Mommy Porn" may be a band wagon worth hopping on, I probably won't be anytime soon. What does interest my more is the psychology of the dominant/submissive relationship mentioned in the book (at least I am told), and what draws people into these roles. Do people actually want be beaten and humiliated for fun? Do they hate their lives that much, or have so much guilt over past events that the only way they can feel better is to be on the receiving end of a restrained beating? Do others find the only way to feed their ego is to be punisher? Do they feel so powerless in their public life, that the only way to even things out is to reverse that role?</div>
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I'm sure there is way more to it than that, but my fantasy is less about experiencing that, but more about understanding it. In fact about understanding everything that people do. A colleague of mine last week admitted to me in a casual conversation that he had a copy of "Mein Kempf". Realizing what he had implied seconds later, he immediately tried to justify why he had a copy. He explained it was because he wanted to see what a mad man had been thinking and that all dictators should be scrutinized. He needed not justify himself, as I completely understand that feeling.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnSt1NOk4PQ2VpI6MKfvlJHY3gmtyK8Io5C7VPitF-RVXtsDn9CMdJ-sAT7pH56jI5U2xmPRO7PH2DSLZ2yLhwBjRUmBOhaEC8K4Pp0HtHIDy5uoryxOV3ff7an32N0SeAX3Cecao45vlM/s1600/bob+and+doug+straight+jacket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnSt1NOk4PQ2VpI6MKfvlJHY3gmtyK8Io5C7VPitF-RVXtsDn9CMdJ-sAT7pH56jI5U2xmPRO7PH2DSLZ2yLhwBjRUmBOhaEC8K4Pp0HtHIDy5uoryxOV3ff7an32N0SeAX3Cecao45vlM/s320/bob+and+doug+straight+jacket.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">STEAMROLLER!!!!</td></tr>
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If I had to make the proverbial genie wish, I think that I would wish to know and understand everything. Everything from the minds of the evil, religion, science, and the most mind boggling of all, women. Having thought about this, I do understand that if I were to have this wish come true that I would probably be confined to a mental institution shortly thereafter, as to know the absolute truth, and then try to survive in a world laden with lies would do nothing short of drive someone crazy. Still to know everything without doubt, without hesitation, without any sort of candy coating would truly be my number one fantasy.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-R3-YdY2EvL0mnJgdD_SQbjEait27XQ-8oFaF1yj_oY0gGxbmutHjyxAakEs1-tb7FZU6i4go8G9CuWMvN_tA-pAenMXfxKrXaUVcsZlfATv_ASjQ9wZkjy7ziPwJnlrAf4he5KoRhER/s1600/writer-smoking-pipe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-R3-YdY2EvL0mnJgdD_SQbjEait27XQ-8oFaF1yj_oY0gGxbmutHjyxAakEs1-tb7FZU6i4go8G9CuWMvN_tA-pAenMXfxKrXaUVcsZlfATv_ASjQ9wZkjy7ziPwJnlrAf4he5KoRhER/s320/writer-smoking-pipe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The writers fantasy has me looking disheveled, and smoking a pipe.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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The other major fantasy I have is to get paid for writing. This blog is a lot of fun and all, but it would be sweet to make money for it. I'm not about to give up a good career and put my family at risk or anything on the whim of a pipe dream, but I really do enjoy writing, so if I could get paid a wage that I could survive on, that would be my on my fantasy list. In fact, I think all you freeloaders should stop reading my blog for free, and start sending me quarters. (<a href="mailto:mattclaus74@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email me at mattclaus74@gmail.com if you'd like to send me a quarter.</a>) Other fantasy careers include, baseball player that hits only home runs, hockey goalie who break dances whilst saving every puck, professional vacation go-er on-er, Joel Higgins' personal assistant, and guy that gets paid to surf YouTube. If anyone wants to offer me any of the above jobs, please email the above.<br />
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My final fantasy is to have this picture stolen and made into a best selling t-shirt...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif_u26tFyiRjRcCa_IBDJE7_Awy_vBPcvOYlfcGwrmZv6eVR3HFf6Lx5CHjqi_maweyj60v5n5m8ryDl1KLdsni5BpOtSE3JaRM5IWQlQOAGYPCqM7JkKRNH65QHs1m9IFRIW-06IO4MEr/s1600/surfing+unicorn" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif_u26tFyiRjRcCa_IBDJE7_Awy_vBPcvOYlfcGwrmZv6eVR3HFf6Lx5CHjqi_maweyj60v5n5m8ryDl1KLdsni5BpOtSE3JaRM5IWQlQOAGYPCqM7JkKRNH65QHs1m9IFRIW-06IO4MEr/s320/surfing+unicorn" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Number 1 image on Google for Surfing Unicorn!!!</td></tr>
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That's right, I created it, and people keep searching for it. I don't have nearly the ambition to do anything with this. Sure I stole the image of the wave and the unicorn, but I put it together and added rainbows. I would absolutely and positively stoked if someone put this on a t-shirt, and sold it. I don't need credit, I don't need money. All I need to know is that someone loved it enough to do it, and someone else thought it was good enough to buy. I tell you what, if anyone wants it, send me an email, and I'll make it at cost.<br />
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Oh yeah, one more wish for a fantasy....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-VLTQHvL0UUoDIhCfR4-Sv5Gp6x_nv31JxvVQ8VQtbUqhbmsxCxOvCip3KJfRUV9SP3PpfNSqWlGj2D-ghmaoWBFhhQOF7c_lvuSlzD-3CCyPEIDpMotf8zIhPnp3tjEZdV3AaQNuSWqR/s1600/BOOBS!.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-VLTQHvL0UUoDIhCfR4-Sv5Gp6x_nv31JxvVQ8VQtbUqhbmsxCxOvCip3KJfRUV9SP3PpfNSqWlGj2D-ghmaoWBFhhQOF7c_lvuSlzD-3CCyPEIDpMotf8zIhPnp3tjEZdV3AaQNuSWqR/s320/BOOBS!.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix1srscuZQoNUc6ATkK5iUsx7fHGQZC8HAWo5sSdLoZzERtBLh6fDA816k3SioxByrXWRB0_0aIO-ZwcC4Z_8_KhQ0dg545hsrdj5McXZMoasTjPNOatdXLnqqw00M5JFo4tEtNVgnXAPm/s1600/moobs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix1srscuZQoNUc6ATkK5iUsx7fHGQZC8HAWo5sSdLoZzERtBLh6fDA816k3SioxByrXWRB0_0aIO-ZwcC4Z_8_KhQ0dg545hsrdj5McXZMoasTjPNOatdXLnqqw00M5JFo4tEtNVgnXAPm/s1600/moobs.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Be careful what you wish for....</td></tr>
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MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-25881376117787579042012-08-01T18:56:00.000-07:002012-08-01T18:56:50.536-07:00Generation X - Still whining after all these years.<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
Some things stick in my mind and I'm not sure why. One thing I loved as a kid was Mad Magazine. I don't even know if Mad Magazine exists anymore, although I'm sure that it's on the web somewhere.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiKQ2qZehHgk6e0XBoFMJrcvSfzU7U2_fEhg6qIG_egh0bts96Z1mseL_Ikbm8osUnCW7RW4McT4OLzKehXKY272ssNj0FCUwBYOtJ5j_XHHlqdqN5QN1cLjDBSARKKFw1a_wNJNKr_tXg/s1600/Mad+Nirvana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" eda="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiKQ2qZehHgk6e0XBoFMJrcvSfzU7U2_fEhg6qIG_egh0bts96Z1mseL_Ikbm8osUnCW7RW4McT4OLzKehXKY272ssNj0FCUwBYOtJ5j_XHHlqdqN5QN1cLjDBSARKKFw1a_wNJNKr_tXg/s320/Mad+Nirvana.jpg" width="245" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Smells like Nostalgia</td></tr>
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It really was quite a brilliant magazine, and I enjoyed everything about it. I would digest every article. Even though today's generation doesn't really ever need to know what a magazine is, I'd recommend checking it out. One particular joke I recall was " "It's scary to think that tomorrow's teenagers will have to come up with music loud and distasteful enough to offend parents who grew up loving the Beastie Boys." I still remember all that joke after years, because it always made me think what would offend my generation. The truth is the Beastie Boys were certainly not the most offencive band my generation produced, although they did encourage me to fight for my right to party. Still that's pretty standard. Twisted Sister also told me I didn't have to take it, Motley Crue told me I had to smoke in the boys room and Weird Al told a generation to Eat It.<br />
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What really stuck out though to me was that Baby Boomer writer was really out of touch thinking that my music was loud and distasteful. I'm sure that he listened to some crap like the Rolling Stones, Beatles, or perhaps Mozart, you know, those OLD people. I listened to Megadeth, RUN DMC, and Right Said Fred.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;">Brilliant Lyrics and totally<br />
heterosexual music. <br />
(Not that there's anything <br />
wrong with that.)</td></tr>
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But his generation always had bad things to say about us X'ers. We were lazy, unmotivated, didn't want McJobs, and we were a bunch of whiners. </div>
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The Baby Boomers have all the good jobs. We'll have to take care of the ageing population when they retire. Your killing the environment and the O-Zone. You old fogies are selfish and you don't understand our generation man! We're not lazy, we just have nothing to motivate us. </div>
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My point is we came off as a bunch of lazy self-entitled whiners, misunderstood by the old fogies, refusing to grow up and take responsibilities, and thinking that plaid shirts and Doc Martens were awesome. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Hm3H0DQgo9K_zj7LiDB5iNPKCJvdG45EH-vYtfHanuiCdNhtk7ArI6IAeV5Vh5ayTa8UiwoHvdolkFdPAD0_SdwtwhksLe-8P1lrWRC3qcHfqk-sD7LT9NQCJNDGwMmzUDeM6i4p9i6v/s1600/Doc-Martens.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" eda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Hm3H0DQgo9K_zj7LiDB5iNPKCJvdG45EH-vYtfHanuiCdNhtk7ArI6IAeV5Vh5ayTa8UiwoHvdolkFdPAD0_SdwtwhksLe-8P1lrWRC3qcHfqk-sD7LT9NQCJNDGwMmzUDeM6i4p9i6v/s320/Doc-Martens.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spoiler Alert: They totally are!</td></tr>
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I think in retrospect we had some pretty good points though. The Baby Boomers really were a pretty hefty generation that learnt that birth control meant a higher standard of living. Less kids meant less had to be spent on kids. A generation that started out protesting Vietnam police actions and living for peace love and dope, ended up being the corporate climbers and being the selfish generation, living for 'me'. Yuppies was an evil word, and that's what they were. (Not you mom and dad, you did great.) ;)</div>
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Over all we felt forgotten, we felt lost, we felt like we had no direction. We yelled loudly and no one payed attention. One thing though... We would NEVER grow up to be our parents. We'd show our kids how be awesome, and give them the respect we never got.</div>
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Fast Forward 20 years...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLdHlNr1yrz5YialQY2JU4m0fp9ny0IMcRn9l1L5tMfjzPdlkCKnzNoa7fEqaSeXz29_SGbzD4-5RaYPT8nuTB6FzYFCg2XoNfv_Gqj3mpqJjmjJ5qh4cSQ6Xj5ckuS5ZwcGEK7I3JjXiv/s1600/loser+trophy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" eda="true" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLdHlNr1yrz5YialQY2JU4m0fp9ny0IMcRn9l1L5tMfjzPdlkCKnzNoa7fEqaSeXz29_SGbzD4-5RaYPT8nuTB6FzYFCg2XoNfv_Gqj3mpqJjmjJ5qh4cSQ6Xj5ckuS5ZwcGEK7I3JjXiv/s320/loser+trophy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We're all winners here!</td></tr>
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Kids today don't know how good they got it! Talk about a selfish generation! For some reason they all expect to succeed without trying. They are willing to knuckle down and work for a living. They do nothing but play video games and text on their phones. They don't listen to reason. For some fool reason they think that everyone deserves a trophy even if they come in last place! We raised a generation of wimps, and how on earth do we expect them to take over our hard-earned middle management jobs when these snot nosed kids can't won't even flip a burger. I'm sorry, but updating your 'Myspacebook twitter' account and typing with your thumbs doesn't count as a skill.</div>
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And while we are on the subject, learn to spell and use grammar. Acronyms are not even on the radar in real English. If you have to type things out, learn how to properly articulate yourself using real words! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">God Damn Right!</td></tr>
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Back in my day we played outside, got in trouble, didn't wear helmets, climbed trees, ate mud, skinned our knees, and got minor concussions, and we liked it that way. We survived. We are still here. Today's kids are so mamby pamby, I swear bubble wrap is going to be the next fashion trend. (In fairness though, to all who make this argument... Those who didn't survive those childhood adventures aren't here to give the other side of the story.) When I was a kid I walked to school by myself or with a friend at the age of 6. It was probably 500 meters away. Can you imagine that happening today? The parents would be arrested.</div>
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In retrospect, I'm pretty sure the greatest generation whined about the Boomers, the Boomers whined about the X'ers, and we whine about the... Well, what the hell do you even call them? Gen Y? Milliniumers? FaceBook generation? Pick a name already! Or do we have to do that for you too!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Talking 'bout my g-g-g-generation</td></tr>
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I did figure out one thing for sure. What kind of music will tomorrow's teenagers have to come up with music loud and distasteful enough to offend parents who grew up loving the Beastie Boys?</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You win this one Millennium generation.<br />
You win this one.</td></tr>
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</div>MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-10293720025936821262012-06-30T09:27:00.002-07:002012-06-30T09:29:50.007-07:00Obamacare isn't that bad.Hey all,<br />
<br />
I just wanted to send a quick note to all my American friends now that the Supreme courst approved Obamacare to let them know it's really not THAT bad.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ZZwPcSqCds9ZS3t7eWTAYjBADJfdq3V9yBdd9B_82ORZeyYoOlNFsTuWPG85pH3jPwsYIaOStAwfuEkC_qcXhgmJPh8Ym6rzl3KW8VnTV4DJS5IwO26rOdN3g6rivlkmuWh0cdlcs-pN/s1600/Lester_B__Pearson_with_a_pencil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ZZwPcSqCds9ZS3t7eWTAYjBADJfdq3V9yBdd9B_82ORZeyYoOlNFsTuWPG85pH3jPwsYIaOStAwfuEkC_qcXhgmJPh8Ym6rzl3KW8VnTV4DJS5IwO26rOdN3g6rivlkmuWh0cdlcs-pN/s1600/Lester_B__Pearson_with_a_pencil.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Known for founding the UN, Universal Health Care,<br />
and holding pencils like cigarettes.</td></tr>
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Despite the influx of tweets threatening to move to Canada (<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-moving-to-canada-because-of-obamacare">http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-moving-to-canada-because-of-obamacare</a>), you should know that we have socialized medicine in Canada for a few years. In the 60's our beloved Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson introduced it to us Canadians as a way to offer everyone, even those crazy Newfoundlanders a way to afford needed health care. Although 'Pearsoncare' was hotly debated, his minority governement was able to push it through, despite only having 43% of the popular vote. As this was 1966, it was largely one of the contributing factors to the beginning of the "Hippie Movement", and perhaps one of the main reasons that now medical marijauna is now legal in Canada. (Ed. - Citation Needed).<br />
<br />
Anyhow, now that we've had it for a few years, I figured I could give my pals south of the border a little real insite into what Governement Health Care really means to Canadians, and not what you hear on your polarized news networks who pretty much tell you it's the work of the Devil, or a gift from a non-deity based miracle.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirTJJJxC9b2PRiqlrR4_zvJhys_Gdg_19Cu0h1TFcs2wtvcPd5dTgkZPwfghFNuONdGu-L8RIWLEhQWVE7umB6Qk6cFfiVGKW1jQqBximHv4i1oPJksl-ZztUbqubnFHODvBz9bnSWjtHD/s1600/1-queen-elizabeth-ii.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirTJJJxC9b2PRiqlrR4_zvJhys_Gdg_19Cu0h1TFcs2wtvcPd5dTgkZPwfghFNuONdGu-L8RIWLEhQWVE7umB6Qk6cFfiVGKW1jQqBximHv4i1oPJksl-ZztUbqubnFHODvBz9bnSWjtHD/s320/1-queen-elizabeth-ii.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drink beer and set off fireworks, or I'll send the armada!</td></tr>
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First thing you should know is we are not a Democracy like you, we are a federal constitutionally monarchy which means we still have to worship the Queen. This is done every May on Victoria Day weekend, marked be copious amounts of beer and explosives, which may be one of the main reasons we all need so much health care to begin with. This means of course that our head of state, the queen, as represented by our governal general, can dictate who gets what health care based on a decision made on cases which must be brought to her on an individual basis. All cases must be made in person without legal represntation. If the health care needs are related to a voice related injury, (E.G. Screaming too much at the local hockey team to 'Get off your asses and skate, eh!'), an official crown voice may be appointed for represntation.<br />
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But don't get me wrong, it's not that bad. I'd say at least 75% of all applications are approved, and the other 25% are generally only denied because it's almost tea time, so they are just trying to rush through. You can apply again in 6 months, or as little as 3 if you lose a limb directly due to the denial.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">State of the art transportation and medical care facility.</td></tr>
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After you get your application approved, you are put into a first class ambulance and brought directly to your local health care facility. The triage nurse will look at you within 6 hours of your arrival, and generally tell you to put some ice on it. Seeing as in Canada we have plenty of ice at all times, we find that this actually negates many of the more expensive health care costs. As well it can be accomplished anytime by going outside an rolling around naked, which is something we Canucks enjoy doing regardless.<br />
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If indeed this doesn't resolve your medical emergency, you are given a medical grade Molson Canadian, to take off the pain, and given a cot, and 3 warm blankets. You are then slid into a room with a TV to watch a hockey game or if that's not your taste to listen to Nickleback, Anne Murray, and the Tragically Hip.<br />
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The doctor, (his name is Maurice), generally gets to see you in about 7 hours and then fixes you, pats you on the head, gives you a governement approved lollipop and a perscription (in french and english) for medical marjiauna and a case of Molsons and sends you on your way. Obviously, you wife is waiting for you, and you have to get back to your lumberjacking duties.<br />
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Now I kow what you're saying... 'Matt, that's all fine and dandy, but all those high tech medical procedures must cost a fortune, and there is no way my Blue Cross will ever approve that, even if the government pays for it.' <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ed, our extremely friendly tax collector.</td></tr>
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Well, not to worry friends!!! It's all FREE!!! The perscriptions, the dog sled, the ice doesn't cost you a thing. Well, that's not entirely true, we do have to pay our taxes. However, at a reasonable 95% of our salary, that's nothing! Consider all the benefits we get for it. Socialized health care, paved roads, education, subsidized curling matches, welfare, our arts and music council, Maurice and Ed's paycheck, an annual tribute of 5000 beaver and baby seal fur coats for her mejesty, and if there's a little left over the Prime Minister has a poutine party at his place, and EVERYONE is invited! Well, not the natives, they don't HAVE to pay tax.<br />
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All in all, it's a win/win for everyone, and those evil insurance companies don't make a penny. And really we're not 'Pinko Communists'. We get to own land and start businesses, we can work as hard as you want and make as much money as you want. The great thing is in the north, the sun doesn't go down in the summer, and doesn't come up in the winter, so you work 6 months straight, with 15 minute breaks, and then you get to sleep for 6 months. That's a lot of cash let me tell you!<br />
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Anyhow, you can see it's not really that bad. What's more it works. Our average life expectancy is 80.7, yours is 78.7. Our infant mortality rate is 4.6% yours is 6.4%. Our football teams are so healthy they only need 3 downs to make it 9.144 metres, yours needs 4 downs to make it 10 yards. As you can see by these World Health Orginization standard measurements, you need to step your game a little bit to get on the ball. I think Obamacare may give you that edge. It's going to be okay, I promise you. Your little brother in the north is doing just fine with it, and it is not because we only have 400 residents here, it's because the system works. Now you'll pardon me, I have to go take my government sponsored meds, grab some potato chips, and go watch Cheech and Chong. Now that's a great Canadian!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOZuY5-URTRcJqxBZgX_MaLsIyIJw_qEU6YQ5Uy1CUkMT4oXLEjqhvJn0DHHaqMekwYiosZkASNJpTdMIADBVbzXxxmcHZu1njJzLn3EcfIXpzg5n1uSr97jvsxXdLycauZbRADg10On7B/s1600/Uncle-Sam-Dying-Dees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOZuY5-URTRcJqxBZgX_MaLsIyIJw_qEU6YQ5Uy1CUkMT4oXLEjqhvJn0DHHaqMekwYiosZkASNJpTdMIADBVbzXxxmcHZu1njJzLn3EcfIXpzg5n1uSr97jvsxXdLycauZbRADg10On7B/s320/Uncle-Sam-Dying-Dees.jpg" width="268" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If he had a medical grade Molson's, he'd be fine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-2776548528641140322012-06-20T18:50:00.000-07:002012-06-20T18:54:09.074-07:00Language may be offensive to some...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHfLxgc1CrobD-dNsvk1ae_-EzXQuNofK1nn_dUfcUZFDHXMIpmdYVBTjMs8_17BpKzqy6O54AkSq0Dg-SLdPO7_9xu6RoQDyG9qyn5We2C8Dug81HgnpIVWJQ_iIHpmXGt4GC1mLh4UXQ/s1600/warning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHfLxgc1CrobD-dNsvk1ae_-EzXQuNofK1nn_dUfcUZFDHXMIpmdYVBTjMs8_17BpKzqy6O54AkSq0Dg-SLdPO7_9xu6RoQDyG9qyn5We2C8Dug81HgnpIVWJQ_iIHpmXGt4GC1mLh4UXQ/s320/warning.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
OK, so before we start today, I need to warn you, my language may not be completely clean and G-rated today. I may say some words that you might not like. Heck, I may even go so far as to offend you with symbolic pixels which will cross your eyes. Shucks, it may even strike a nerve and cause you to blush, become enraged, and write a letter to the editor insisting that I be taken off the air, and my sponsorships be cancelled. <br />
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If this sounds like something you don't want to read, please stop reading now. If you keep reading, I take no responsibility for what you may happen to read next. You have been warned.<br />
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(OK really? How am I not supposed to take responsibility, I mean I wrote it. I take full responsibility. This is mine, and I own it. Your offence is your own, but these words are mine, excluding any quotes you read.)<br />
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You've been warned...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLIzyiQSnkMvYKrfxugpoUP0jkF_U1e3vfacmz_fNWuAEW9LNmYN0F87kKHI7P0o8UZRTvgjq2ImA-A3AhBv_uLj9C8_Qg8N4mDRun1fYm1OTTq0NHw72-jutvzmwF9Jff3EPY_uoEBY56/s1600/sunday-school.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLIzyiQSnkMvYKrfxugpoUP0jkF_U1e3vfacmz_fNWuAEW9LNmYN0F87kKHI7P0o8UZRTvgjq2ImA-A3AhBv_uLj9C8_Qg8N4mDRun1fYm1OTTq0NHw72-jutvzmwF9Jff3EPY_uoEBY56/s320/sunday-school.jpg" width="320" /></a>When I was a young lad of about 7 or around there. I was in my Sunday school office with my sister and mother watching her count the offering. My family was always active in the church, and it was my mom's job to do the accounting of the Sunday school offering, and watching her do it gave us something to do between Sunday school and the service. I don't remember the details of what happened next, but needless to say my big sister did something to me which caused me some level of distress. (I was a brat, I probably deserved it.) What ever it was she did, I could not let this offence pass without standing up for myself, but what I could I do? I was in church, my mother was there, and I was surrounded people who I'm sure would disapprove of the violence which I'm sure she deserved. She was also 4 years older than I, and tall. My butt would have been well kicked I'm sure.) I decided the best course of action would be to express my dissatisfaction in words. Strong words. Words that would hurt her, break her, and ultimately show her the error of her ways and bring her to apologise to me for whatever great wrong it was she had committed. Once again, with my mother there I couldn't drop a huge bomb, so I decided to ultimately censor myself, and with great and conscientious thought I told her to 'F' off.</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
That's right... Right there in the Sunday school office on the holiest day of the week, I said the letter 'F'.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The effect was not quite what I desired. My mother shot me a look of all looks, packed up the money, grabbed me and pulled me out of the office like only a mother can. Her peers I'm sure were there, which added to her embarrassment and fuelled the addressing I got there-after. I was delivered to my father for punishment. My father looked at me with disappointed eyes and told me we were going to have a little chat when I got home. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Through teary eyes, I explained that I had made a conscious decision not to swear, and chose the letter 'F' to specifically not swear. It was explained to me that even though I had only used the letter 'F' the meaning behind the word was quite clear, and that it should be considered just as bad as if I had actually said the word. (Next time you hear anyone say the phrase 'The 'N' Word', remember that.) Now although this was the 70's or maybe early 80's and corporal punishment for kids was still quite accepted, I did not get a spanking for this one. My Dad had a way of sitting you down and calmly explaining why what you did was wrong, and why you needed to be punished in a calm and rational way. I never really listened, I just kept dreading the spanking that was to be coming. Fear is not responsive to rationality. Anyhow, in this case no spanking was issued. I'm sure all you children of the 80's know what standard punishment for bad language is.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioxszDdM-O5-wTNvJU5RnRr2gvu32YgRWBddeU77vijVQfoSITayhbqgFG7NMvxnSzofb9MQMTZKbYT6vjUMXVq48hBkI4-ujamFagFjOOnHbfXu57iJvjSvtwvYhJkJU6zvWF1bes2ddM/s1600/soap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioxszDdM-O5-wTNvJU5RnRr2gvu32YgRWBddeU77vijVQfoSITayhbqgFG7NMvxnSzofb9MQMTZKbYT6vjUMXVq48hBkI4-ujamFagFjOOnHbfXu57iJvjSvtwvYhJkJU6zvWF1bes2ddM/s1600/soap.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Suck on this!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That lesson always stuck with me for some reason. I guess my parents did a pretty good job after all.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRXQ0EieXrQvZK_uXPG2k0XzaYuyzUJWVHZxasjbJn5kGX4MkFAqu6UPAuOK85uk4mnBoZb9y04bZhrDxAD9PI_JtNJKrUycMSntVDrGfQV6CbcmQhGr6DZQRg_gojmstIgHNnoJ_ddLaI/s1600/MA-Middleborough-Police-Department-Patch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRXQ0EieXrQvZK_uXPG2k0XzaYuyzUJWVHZxasjbJn5kGX4MkFAqu6UPAuOK85uk4mnBoZb9y04bZhrDxAD9PI_JtNJKrUycMSntVDrGfQV6CbcmQhGr6DZQRg_gojmstIgHNnoJ_ddLaI/s1600/MA-Middleborough-Police-Department-Patch.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now a division of the<br />
language police.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Anyhow, I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but recently a small town called Middleborough passed the following: A $20 fine on public profanity. Yes that's right, in Middleborough it is now against a town by-law to swear in public. (Do you call them by-laws in the States, I don't even really know.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My Dad once told me that swearing is lazy, and there are always considerably better words in the lexicon to establish a feeling of emphases, which is when swearing is most commonly used. The other common use is shock value, which once again is kind of lazy. I mean if I wanted to shock you, I'm more likely to tell you what I think about environmental laws than I am to swear. Besides, it offends way more people. Regardless, the good people of Middleborough are no longer even allowed to be lazy. In fact, the bad people in Middleborough aren't either.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7i10RIbG0ERSuuLo-2vz_DiFWgp8qxA69e4v952v0B-PqDiffHymk-gKe7n4xCwo94_d0otPrphB_calBxtqUaX7RNvEuwNUbSomJV4MRHRMSN1QGd8eM1pNqZGJAEpuJofsW8k-oNaO/s1600/Mr.+Rogers.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7i10RIbG0ERSuuLo-2vz_DiFWgp8qxA69e4v952v0B-PqDiffHymk-gKe7n4xCwo94_d0otPrphB_calBxtqUaX7RNvEuwNUbSomJV4MRHRMSN1QGd8eM1pNqZGJAEpuJofsW8k-oNaO/s320/Mr.+Rogers.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mr. Rogers HATES ambiguous laws</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm pretty sure that somewhere in there this is against the American Constitution. You guys down there take your freedom of speech pretty close to heart. Us Canucks have mostly the same law, but it is limited to denial of hate speech, which I have a bit of a problem with. I mean I can say words which are considered hateful, but if it can be proven that I said it with the intention to be hateful or something like that I can be charged? I don't know, it is a weird law. I try not to say anything that might be misconstrued as hateful, but I certainly use words which offend. You figure out the difference. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My question is this... What is the limit of your swearing threshold. What might be offensive to one person might be perfectly acceptable for another. Did they have to write all the offensive words down on some charter? If not, then it's left to interpretation of what is offensive. If so, does that mean every time someone reads the law aloud, they have to be fined for each offensive word? What about words that kind of sound like swearing? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"The bastard took his bitch, a shih tzu, to chase the cock and some balls around the park, but ended up in some pussy willows being carried by an ass." </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Perfectly acceptable and clean sentence in the English language, but might cost the speaker $140! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNgp7t0OAtMvrWwjIpmv1apuqMKrHrDgfh3hGyPucJQ-57N9LrxJ53RktNeUzySkxyGlOG3p4sIqOZRN8dT9HBbnCtMSxiwpjQj7rT7EW1ARaRmJfxIvY9Jlra97IJgVpuDcN0vyHOzBOd/s1600/french+seal+of+approval.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNgp7t0OAtMvrWwjIpmv1apuqMKrHrDgfh3hGyPucJQ-57N9LrxJ53RktNeUzySkxyGlOG3p4sIqOZRN8dT9HBbnCtMSxiwpjQj7rT7EW1ARaRmJfxIvY9Jlra97IJgVpuDcN0vyHOzBOd/s320/french+seal+of+approval.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Uh-ho-ho-ho, I am dirty, no?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
An speaking of the English language... What if our friends in 'La Belle Province' visit the small town of Middleborough. Perhaps they see a small carving of a seal for sale in the downtown area, and delightedly exclaim... "C'est la phoque!" For those of you who don't speak the language, sound it out, and pronounce it a dirty as you can! There, now you've said it correctly, and you may owe your town $20.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The real problem as I see it is not that the citizens of Middleborough don't want people swearing, heck I even get that. The problem is that it is against the constitutional rights of the citizens of the United States of America, and since the fine is only $20 it is not worth ever fighting in a court of law. It is just another tax grab against the lazy, the people with rich lexicon, and the French. I hope they are putting the monies towards something useful at least. I mean, you know the government. Always models of efficiency when it comes to our tax dollars...</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwH0KOoqWpEdGaoNV4uaRbhH-xyqrhLrDtKcBKaSDgAHQo574IcnCpzaFrTPmyedhnQdIiL1H7mzDmluhbastlbq4H4pEr_Y-PpzD7_oj-q7sM890-OKbgPNNESr7KF79KaOq7D5LJ9RgP/s1600/salary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwH0KOoqWpEdGaoNV4uaRbhH-xyqrhLrDtKcBKaSDgAHQo574IcnCpzaFrTPmyedhnQdIiL1H7mzDmluhbastlbq4H4pEr_Y-PpzD7_oj-q7sM890-OKbgPNNESr7KF79KaOq7D5LJ9RgP/s320/salary.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Simpsons, brilliant satire</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-7677257402546099022012-05-06T20:10:00.000-07:002012-05-06T20:10:42.405-07:00The Joy of LifeI haven't admitted this to many people, but I have become a pusher. That's right, I dispence artifical joy. What's worse is I enjoy doing it, I have for years. I don't really feel guily about it, I know that my pushing makes people happy. They get addicted, they want more, they want to get that feeling again and again. It doesn't hurt anyone, or at least it hasn't so far. They tell me they want to go higher and higher, but I have my limits. I always try and keep things safe. Most of my experience pushing has been with young girls, but I don't discriminate. I'm not sexist, it's just where the opportunities lie. I have pushed for young boys as well, just not often. Also, I will continue to do so as long as I can. As long as they let me, I'll keep pushing just to hear the giggles and laughter as the rush takes over, and for a moment they feel as free as if they are flying. I know one day Madelyn won't need me anymore to push, but for the time being it's my job, and I love it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5TtT2cpudvR5T3Fby-u-UGq2q9BEpgmuF5MDZwLtJNibkBrBxxcPP7wzqtBmqXOuldlh0-L_gSKnPosYA2YqGmqvz_7Kk4vEIijdfJ_kBGYZcOKvorLxxZ6Rws5mwHXudHlYlPO6OEGH2/s1600/DSCN0142.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5TtT2cpudvR5T3Fby-u-UGq2q9BEpgmuF5MDZwLtJNibkBrBxxcPP7wzqtBmqXOuldlh0-L_gSKnPosYA2YqGmqvz_7Kk4vEIijdfJ_kBGYZcOKvorLxxZ6Rws5mwHXudHlYlPO6OEGH2/s400/DSCN0142.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The seedy underbelly of the playgound</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I might be wrong, but I think that's what everyone wants isn't it? I mean, maybe not the kind of joy that I dispense at the swing set, but some sort of rush, some sort of joy, some sort of escape from the everyday mundane existence. It's the thrill that brings us joy. Maybe it is the rush of adrenaline from floating in the air in the playground. Maybe the sense of self worth that washes over you when you accomplish something hard. Maybe it's the explosion of sensation that washes over you when you try a new or favourite food. All addictions seem to be related to a rush of joy, if only momentarily.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvZBTqOAD3ECthqSz7zVPZQMABaHlrXA5MKGory9teqaZlQ-BYA5OpwSK1fVxJv45Z52Jv7d-j9x8gHIaT7MQ5rQYH3BKM7Je_ikWtEgB_p0XGrL9w6G4a81UBHtlV5hnT_R6GAYGxYrrG/s1600/IMG_0011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvZBTqOAD3ECthqSz7zVPZQMABaHlrXA5MKGory9teqaZlQ-BYA5OpwSK1fVxJv45Z52Jv7d-j9x8gHIaT7MQ5rQYH3BKM7Je_ikWtEgB_p0XGrL9w6G4a81UBHtlV5hnT_R6GAYGxYrrG/s320/IMG_0011.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I personally sold my soul to the devil to learn how to do<br />
the cube. Just so I could impress people into thinking I'm smart.<br />
I fooled them all!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
One of the bigger joys we have in our society is stuff. Owning bigger and better things. Cool cars. Big TV's. Suckier vacuums. Beautiful shoes. The latest movies and video games. Collections of almost anything you can imagine drives people forward in life. All for stuff. People would give anything for that rush that aquiring better stuff gives you. Anything... Most people dedicate their entire lives from school age to retirement working towards or a career which encompasses over 1/3 of every day of their lives, just to have money to get more stuff to bring them joy. <br />
<br />
You might say to me that you don't. You might tell me that you work to provide sustainance for your family, and help them to survive, and live comfortably, and that is commendable for sure. I know I get a sense of self satisfaction and joy knowing that my kids aren't going to starve, and that my eldest daughter can go to prom. Irregardless of the nobility of my motives, I'm am still brought joy by doing it. I am still giving up my life for joy.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9WzXsagR1L6mELqZby-0zhs88nywhn7VcB7NMDc5OkOxCAeRbHO3E397XK38Jp21ZBPTrpCA4DzgWeJg0t5hmv9xXd_mYC9VQCDXi-2XtR6xJHuGW-z4wkTRwjny-uZax0SAwsU1xT-to/s1600/grammar-nazi-copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9WzXsagR1L6mELqZby-0zhs88nywhn7VcB7NMDc5OkOxCAeRbHO3E397XK38Jp21ZBPTrpCA4DzgWeJg0t5hmv9xXd_mYC9VQCDXi-2XtR6xJHuGW-z4wkTRwjny-uZax0SAwsU1xT-to/s320/grammar-nazi-copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Almost as much joy I get from pissing off the grammar nazis<br />
by saying 'irregardless'.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Still, how much do we have to give up for joy? Does stuff make you happy? I hear people say no to this question. Stuff if anything makes you unhappy. The thrill of getting it, and initially enjoying gives you a momentary rush, but it only lasts for so long, and then it's on to the next thing. It's the same with Madelyn and her swing. Today she's happy to be pushed, and go higher and faster, but eventually that won't be enough. Eventually, it'll be taller slides, and hanging upside down on monkey bars. Merri-go-rounds. Rollercoasters. Skydiving. All for the thrill of the adrenaline rush. All to find the joy in life. Even those that sacrifice themselves for others to get that smug satisfying feeling of knowing that they've good. It's satisfying because although you are giving of yourself, you get joy out of it.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCjD8YX1YK7hg38fqKXx1zoWPb_Mg68dOrvjdRRwDzIGcf8zXaI0-11WGCtkKkWH8cVxgQcaPQQV7eCTXYr06eHCTmmCpS8SQpQF9I5eaN1JN0Py_2JgY9gDLk_zkBR3l9pZXeK5qnimie/s1600/Ren+and+Stimpy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCjD8YX1YK7hg38fqKXx1zoWPb_Mg68dOrvjdRRwDzIGcf8zXaI0-11WGCtkKkWH8cVxgQcaPQQV7eCTXYr06eHCTmmCpS8SQpQF9I5eaN1JN0Py_2JgY9gDLk_zkBR3l9pZXeK5qnimie/s320/Ren+and+Stimpy.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cheesy nostalgic joy for Gen X</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I don't begrudge anyone their joy by the way. I feel that as long as you aren't hurting others the pursuit of your joy is paramount to your existence on the planet. I don't want to come across as a superficial asshole telling you to give up all your worldly goods and live in peace and harmony not shackled down by society's desire to fit in by needing more things. If base diving off of cliffs makes you happy, by all means do it. You should be able to live your life anyway you choose as far as I'm concerned as long as the joy you derive doesn't come at the expense of someone who is not willing. (Go ahead and drink 20 beers, smoke 5 joints, and eat a deep fried Mars bar if you want, just don't skip your daughter's play and make her cry.)<br />
<br />
I, for one, find joy in solving puzzles, baiting grammar nazis, Ren and Stimpy, and of course pushing my daughter on the swing. I also find joy in being with my friends, writing, playing video games, and the smug satisfaction in knowing that I'm a good dad. I'm OK with this. I find joy in the sun, and in nature, and I like technology, and the cool new toys. I get a rush from making people laugh, being sarcastic, ironic, stupidly weird, and akwardly rebelious. I really do think that if I gave up all my 'stuff' that I could find joy just in being. I couldn't give up my family and friends however, I'm way too addicted to that joy in my life.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitEkgGlfA_XzXeFmqLjFjpvy5IlrOqKd_CR146s5_NqqYEwLdFY1Zo4RH1E-zao07oINIahOzHK2srNFY9d-bopH0wVtUtuBTi8BujHfHH-YYygC-WhKY1IlNrM4OCMO04YS1u63jnRhSy/s1600/Motivational-Quote-on-Optimist-and-Pessimist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitEkgGlfA_XzXeFmqLjFjpvy5IlrOqKd_CR146s5_NqqYEwLdFY1Zo4RH1E-zao07oINIahOzHK2srNFY9d-bopH0wVtUtuBTi8BujHfHH-YYygC-WhKY1IlNrM4OCMO04YS1u63jnRhSy/s1600/Motivational-Quote-on-Optimist-and-Pessimist.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another f***'n uplifting message.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The key I think is not to find your happiness in things or in others, it is to find happiness in yourself. Whatever that thing is that turns you on. Whatever give you that rush, it needs to be within you. <br />
<br />
If you are happy being miserable, than be miserable. There is joy hidden in sadness if you want it.<br />
<br />
If you can only see the bright side of everything, relish in it. Just don't expect everyone to see your point of view.<br />
<br />
And, if you choose not to find your joy, that is your right as well. No one can ever tell you what to do it you don't want to do it. (It's just sometime the consequences suck.)<br />
<br />
Personally, I'm going to continue being a pusher. It just brings joy to life.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-39017711153962020662012-04-15T10:06:00.000-07:002012-04-15T10:08:13.851-07:00#occupy?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjC3Pr9_Pan8SJbjgm5khyphenhyphen5AsqlIXxpQ6Gx4xfvbxko_gyh0IVgSkMa8uj4s5ePz9keRLCNiBdvxiuUJJ5wS4Fi7Nox8kHJj9UMg21bBCuurVgaDshT6rzCEebhxJC1d7YbQFvR0L4WQny/s1600/Occupy-movement-protester-007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjC3Pr9_Pan8SJbjgm5khyphenhyphen5AsqlIXxpQ6Gx4xfvbxko_gyh0IVgSkMa8uj4s5ePz9keRLCNiBdvxiuUJJ5wS4Fi7Nox8kHJj9UMg21bBCuurVgaDshT6rzCEebhxJC1d7YbQFvR0L4WQny/s1600/Occupy-movement-protester-007.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The symbol of the 99 percent?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Hello good readers,<br />
<br />
Today I'd like to talk about something that's been on my mind lately, and since it's been meandering a lot lately maybe I need to bring it back into focus.<br />
<br />
I've really been trying to wrap my head around what the Occupy movement is trying to do. I mean I understand that they are upset, and staging a protest to let the world know it. Apparently this is done by drum circles, wearing <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fawkes" target="_blank">Guy Fawkes</a> masks, chanting about the 99 percent and engaging in civil disobedience.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTnelefnzWg5WmFiRWyjc1hbUYnZgEWJLmfi0eVwmNVEBRAyzappTAJmUEgN6YUIG-Veo_0CEgtWRkeq3pYCHxYOBa7HFlRkkRXOdPOVCojVRLHp_CKpGGXZmA1bbvrppnm_S4OIPiIbP9/s1600/guy_fawkes_portrait.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTnelefnzWg5WmFiRWyjc1hbUYnZgEWJLmfi0eVwmNVEBRAyzappTAJmUEgN6YUIG-Veo_0CEgtWRkeq3pYCHxYOBa7HFlRkkRXOdPOVCojVRLHp_CKpGGXZmA1bbvrppnm_S4OIPiIbP9/s320/guy_fawkes_portrait.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A big fan of the pope.</td></tr>
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I take small issue with the use of the Guy Fawkes mask. Guy was not a symbol of freedom from tyranny. He was not a left wing rabble rouser. He didn't want anarchy, which I perceive many who use his image believe. Although, he tried to blow up the British Parliament buildings and remove King James I from the throne, this was not done for the 'people'. His end goal was to restore a Catholic Monarch to the throne. <br />
<br />
So his end game was to remove one repressive regime, and restore it with another one who arguably would be more of a puppet to the desires of the Catholic church. (Who at the time had a pretty bad track record of being nice to the people.)<br />
<br />
So when they invoke his image, they are invoking one of a person who was willing to kill to bring oppression upon the people... But I digress. I understand the perception of what they think he symbolises, I just find it ironic.<br />
<br />
I digress about that, because this diatribe is not about Guy, it is about the #Occupy movement, and what it means. So the argument goes, at least as I understand it, that 1% of the population control the majority of wealth, and consequentially power in a Capitalistic society, while the other 99% has very little. This is deemed unfair, expedited by the fact that the 1% doesn't seem to pay their fair share of the taxes. Of course this has manifested in the things like government bailouts, and the rich using their power to get richer, while the have nots get nothing.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyy529aXVQUft_xanJNXIw26o0olrbbhwWgrI0IMzM8JkwSHd7MQdX57Ejd7LjjDq_DbWLjnWI797SeS8BfOuB1-2f6eTDMhJ5xgSCsxPkDg9ey0AiHEeeSAItdJBM0k08Rj0OmkQhg_Tr/s1600/funny-pictures-cat-has-a-lot-of-money.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyy529aXVQUft_xanJNXIw26o0olrbbhwWgrI0IMzM8JkwSHd7MQdX57Ejd7LjjDq_DbWLjnWI797SeS8BfOuB1-2f6eTDMhJ5xgSCsxPkDg9ey0AiHEeeSAItdJBM0k08Rj0OmkQhg_Tr/s320/funny-pictures-cat-has-a-lot-of-money.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I actually have always thought this meme was dumb, but<br />
who am I to argue with the Internet. I just never understood<br />
why cats can't spell and have bad grammar.</td></tr>
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At least that's how I've been able to understand the argument, but I'm not going to lie, this is a perception given to me by the media. I am aware that the media has been known to be scummy, and not report the truth, but whatever will sell newspapers. Well, really though, who reads newspapers anymore? Some cliches are just over the hill. I've also heard people interviewed that think the issue is the system of Capitalism. They think moving to a Communist state would be the best way to live. When questioned about the USSR or China, they say well, not that type of Communism, they fell to greed and became corrupt, what I mean is REAL communism. <br />
<br />
Ummm, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure all real communism is pretty doomed to fail because humans are naturally greedy. It doesn't work in large scale economies, but works well in smaller situations. For instance a household where all incomes are put into family bank account which is used to pay the bills, buy the necessities, save for the future, and even buy some luxuries works great. However, when we try and run a country this way, there are too many different ideals on what the resources should be spent on, so a decision maker has to decide what is the best interests of the people. So this is can be installed as a dictator or a democracy. Well, we all know power corrupts, so a dictator will eventually use the resources for their own wants and needs. I'm not sure if a true democracy would work or not. It seems to me generally the masses would vote for their own needs as opposed to the good of all, so everyone would have mansions and Ferraris, with no food.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTBDx-Dz2yYS4FtHPRa8LF4XQKdbSib8kpoO0v3wwC2bO_uLasJVvGFaChKr_VQO60lGqUGKEfuzUnRDfgxjQodcY6NEs4bVUxsUKggbl8B7lKR0Q90nJ4fTzrMIPUlEJaWjECVE4q4mzv/s320/Capitalism.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As this picture is already captioned, this seems useless.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTBDx-Dz2yYS4FtHPRa8LF4XQKdbSib8kpoO0v3wwC2bO_uLasJVvGFaChKr_VQO60lGqUGKEfuzUnRDfgxjQodcY6NEs4bVUxsUKggbl8B7lKR0Q90nJ4fTzrMIPUlEJaWjECVE4q4mzv/s1600/Capitalism.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>Capitalism is defined thus: "An economic system in which the means of production and
distribution are privately or corporately owned and development is proportionate
to the accumulation and reinvestment of profits gained in a free market." More or less it equals this... Greed drives society. The pursuit of 'stuff' makes you want to succeed. So you work to make money to get stuff, and that's how stuff gets made and done. The more stuff you have the better you are, and the more stuff you want, the more stuff you are willing to do for it. Take away the desire for stuff, and Capitalism fails. (This is kind of an important fact.) The thing I love about Capitalism is this. The desire for stuff forces people to build better stuff in the hopes that people will buy their stuff. It drives innovation, and ensures that technology moves forward.<br />
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What the protesters don't seem to realise is the solution is very easy. Just like in a democracy, everyone gets a vote in Capitalism, however, instead of everyone person getting a vote to elect a single person to do whatever, in Capitalism, we vote with our dollars. The more dollars we have, the more votes we get. As a result, what ever stuff is making money, the people who produce the stuff will make more of it. This is the reason that every new kids movie is in 3D, and that everything else is a copy of Twilight, Harry Potter, and the Hunger Games.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUpg-oq-mjHPlnhHVbMn7C80NMFQ2n6ebpSvXJtUJGbGIZdbSXfh2omaDTHawGAZKvCQrZBejOXXKE-gFjbZdhpREPMJn3ng4w6H-Xig6_8HWZRKGmt1kDfRC8_U_Lizk8-PyiULxdXWMe/s1600/twi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUpg-oq-mjHPlnhHVbMn7C80NMFQ2n6ebpSvXJtUJGbGIZdbSXfh2omaDTHawGAZKvCQrZBejOXXKE-gFjbZdhpREPMJn3ng4w6H-Xig6_8HWZRKGmt1kDfRC8_U_Lizk8-PyiULxdXWMe/s1600/twi.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, apparently teenage girls are clearly the demographic<br />
Hollywood believes has the most money.</td></tr>
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Just because the 1% has the majority of the money, we forget that they have the least amount of people. The 1% still only has the need of 1% of the population. It is the 99% that purchases most of the goods in this world. They are the ones who allow the banks to charge outrageous fees for the privilege of holding their money. They are the ones who allow the oil companies to raise the cost of gas to non-justifiable fees simply because a bird farted in Texas. They are the ones who control what stuff is produced, and ensure that stuff is profitable by buying it. It really is the best example of how true democracy works. You can't abstain from voting, unless you are willing to go without stuff. (More on that in another blog). <br />
<br />
So I guess my point is this. If the 99% really wants to make an impact, sitting around parks, holding up signs, playing music and smoking weed is doing absolutely nothing except making those who are non-radicals, and the 1% do nothing but laugh at you and dismiss you as dirty hippies. Dirty hippies who want to reinstate the government with Catholic figureheads apparently! No, instead of fighting Capitalism, make it work for you. Bring the corporations who you believe treat the people unfairly to their knees. Stop voting for them and encouraging them with your dollars, and organise protest that they'll have to pay attention to... Protest against their bottom line.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkWkIfp48kKUL8Pv6vDvJ6Zlbw7HoPylqAi7vsqXLloOBk0M6Y7wdj1iLInQShNXrt5M_0GarTICbnu7qx53ksfSUBUhzMQa-kjASl0ObvAELhJpM9d1taaNc50a3rsUAWMY7t7RIiripJ/s1600/boycott-bp-logo-oil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkWkIfp48kKUL8Pv6vDvJ6Zlbw7HoPylqAi7vsqXLloOBk0M6Y7wdj1iLInQShNXrt5M_0GarTICbnu7qx53ksfSUBUhzMQa-kjASl0ObvAELhJpM9d1taaNc50a3rsUAWMY7t7RIiripJ/s320/boycott-bp-logo-oil.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oops! Sorry, our bad.</td></tr>
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For example. Do you guys remember British Petroleum? The company which spilled tonnes of oil into the Gulf Coast creating an ecological disaster? I haven't heard a lot about them on the news lately. I guess I've been distracted about Kim Kardashinans latest marriage exploits. Anyhow, BP is one of those companies which I feel probably is as good as any to target. On the scale of evil companies, they are pretty high on the list. (Citibank, we'll get to you later.) If the 99% were to absolutely boycott all BP products, all gas stations who used it, all products that employed it, and companies who advocate it. Boycott absolutely without question, they would be forced to lower their prices, or risk going out of business. When they lower their prices though, still don't let up. We are not looking for a short term gain, we are looking to send a message to corporations who say 'F*** you, and f*** what you stand for'. If the 99% could organise and do that, it would actually make an impact! It might make others who you feel have done you wrong take notice at the power of the 99%. And if the happy by-product is I get lower gas prices, well then so be it. (Damn I am tired of expensive gas).<br />
<br />
I could go on, and maybe I will, but frankly, this has gone on too long as it is. I probably lost most of my readers up around the cat picture, so I will stop for now. Just also to let you know, I really do believe Capitalism works, and I believe that hard work can pay off in both personal satisfaction and stuff. I also hate when people say something is too hard, when they really mean I am too lazy to put in the effort to do it. I love my country, and I love my world, and I know that I have the right to try and change if I want to. <br />
<br />
If more people looked at the 100% of the world than the 1% of their small piece of life, I really think that we could do something a little more effective.<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading.<br />
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</div>MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-17195965309825763612012-03-28T20:17:00.000-07:002012-03-28T20:17:42.268-07:00The legend of the immortal Joel HigginsHello faithful readers, and welcome to today's instalment of 'The Meandering Mind of Matt'. I thought about what to talk about today and several topics came to mind. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJG43CdE2WThHHL-Iwm6HUxoERW3nqTj1Dgu5smfzFbjM7MOuug7kudft-Ct92W7mdT9JVftzHhFuJgcDU-mafF_KIi3VykQFDBdSkmjhfQ0RYfhm8apYc1U84cGPErhkYGbE4hidUi365/s1600/1984-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJG43CdE2WThHHL-Iwm6HUxoERW3nqTj1Dgu5smfzFbjM7MOuug7kudft-Ct92W7mdT9JVftzHhFuJgcDU-mafF_KIi3VykQFDBdSkmjhfQ0RYfhm8apYc1U84cGPErhkYGbE4hidUi365/s200/1984-1.jpg" width="136" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Was this about communism or fascism?<br />
I can never make up my mind.</td></tr>
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I thought briefly about dwelving into the fact political correctness is just away to eliminate words from the English language. A tactic used in the novel 1984 known as double speak. By eliminating words, you then give people less ability to express themselves, and eventually less ability to think for themselves. However, I'm not in the mood to rant tonight, so sorry rant lovers!<br />
<br />
I thought about going on about the concept of infinity, and what it truly means to have something go on forever. How in an infinite subset there must in turn be an infinite amount of possibilities of combinations, which in turn means that we should have been killed by now by space aliens.<br />
<br />
But no my friends, tonight I do not rant, or wax poetic about infinite probabilities and other mathematical geeky things. Tonight I tell you a story... A story of this man:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNGsLqWAlXeHGEVateiGYU9M6TbyyTUXrlUI5iDBzeAqxKH-UKucVtVT8NySmYaE36Pf8mMj7961i3XUYsxhg32V4Kkapz7jifvzhBpPfW43rHNMDFbCgLVG2CSes_zOOYi_UH7vZQbqXK/s1600/edwardstratton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNGsLqWAlXeHGEVateiGYU9M6TbyyTUXrlUI5iDBzeAqxKH-UKucVtVT8NySmYaE36Pf8mMj7961i3XUYsxhg32V4Kkapz7jifvzhBpPfW43rHNMDFbCgLVG2CSes_zOOYi_UH7vZQbqXK/s320/edwardstratton.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joel Higgins</td></tr>
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Suffice to say, many of you have no idea who on earth this is. Some of my older peers may recognise this man as Edward Stratton III from the sitcom Silver Spoons. The character he played was a lovable man child who owned a toy company and suffered from Peter Pan syndrome. He never really wanted to grow up. One day he found out he had a child, who in Military school had grown up considerably faster than he. The sitcom focused on their adventures together.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6qgfQabFSWqQz_1BXk-T7RhvicqxwVzfj1uDt2CmeYA5oM6CRALvFO_rGF8IQrCiS7FVQJpHtKF_We9ecRPduVMMVCYTD_fl1yGH5U6jpC-Qld1KtzlS75miPme8pkUXftwej92RhbkAL/s1600/silverspoonstrain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6qgfQabFSWqQz_1BXk-T7RhvicqxwVzfj1uDt2CmeYA5oM6CRALvFO_rGF8IQrCiS7FVQJpHtKF_We9ecRPduVMMVCYTD_fl1yGH5U6jpC-Qld1KtzlS75miPme8pkUXftwej92RhbkAL/s320/silverspoonstrain.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> <br />
Also, he drove a kick ass train around his living room.<br />
</td></tr>
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What you don't know however, is that this man whose real name was Joel Higgins, may very well be immortal. At the very least, he is one of four potential immortal people that walk the face of the earth to this day.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9YofR9e1L158ARLFaaEN9Yawh8YotZZEj6h6wa4sAQWNydZUe_U14GrI81KIPhkUhV7_wQRoEDhRuAUJQuwTeAAKSiN3cbyvafrzgydSOK0jOMEVBSu6ky6FCTwdB5Z2d04QMHbJfuUq5/s1600/SeventhSignThe_EST_175.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9YofR9e1L158ARLFaaEN9Yawh8YotZZEj6h6wa4sAQWNydZUe_U14GrI81KIPhkUhV7_wQRoEDhRuAUJQuwTeAAKSiN3cbyvafrzgydSOK0jOMEVBSu6ky6FCTwdB5Z2d04QMHbJfuUq5/s1600/SeventhSignThe_EST_175.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Plus, Demi Moore's boobies...<br />
So there's that!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Please allow me to explain. You see, when I was younger I watched this movie called <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096073/">The Seventh Sign.</a> In this movie, the main bad guy was a legendary person by the name of <span dir="auto">Cartaphilus. Cartaphilus according to Christian legend struck Christ at the crucifixion and was cursed to wander the earth forever until revelation happened. (The second coming of Christ). So as the movie followed the book of Revelation pretty accurately, then if the Bible is to be believed, then <span dir="auto">Cartaphilus must still be wandering around somewhere on the earth. As it happens it occurred to my good friend Rob and I that there was a pretty good chance that it might very well be Joel Higgins. We realised this because it had become our ritual to watch Silver Spoons at lunch during high school, and whenever we saw Joel on the credits we both acknowledged him as the immortal Joel Higgins. It all made sense.</span></span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZxl3iSJAjOeSJ-2XDws0dYKHTMY3F19T8qLbKWg4QKM3cCSBE4xkq3c_pi9_eTul839_lA1XnHFY62QNWuHdQ841l116YRc8-6T-2oLiEVYcmPCvyx_cgNlqgVYTn1h9o_U8NdmNBzgmK/s1600/the+immortals.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZxl3iSJAjOeSJ-2XDws0dYKHTMY3F19T8qLbKWg4QKM3cCSBE4xkq3c_pi9_eTul839_lA1XnHFY62QNWuHdQ841l116YRc8-6T-2oLiEVYcmPCvyx_cgNlqgVYTn1h9o_U8NdmNBzgmK/s320/the+immortals.png" width="308" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Behold the immortal 4</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span dir="auto"><span dir="auto">Now, having said that, there were also 3 others that we had acknowledged may be immortal. The first was Elvis. I mean, the guy kept getting seen at K-Marts, and on park benches. No way that guy was dying. Mel Ott, the famous shortstop for the New York Giants. He had obvious faked his death in 1958 after a hall of fame career. Rob and I knew the truth, he lived at the end of Rob's street, and constantly had heart attacks that could never kill him. We were sure of it. Rounding out the 4 was Lester Elsary. He was our grade 10 history teacher, one of the most hilariously abusive and sarcastic teacher I ever had. Also he was rather brilliant in the field of history, and possibly my favourite teacher of all time. A perfect cover for a man who was well over 2000 years old! I'm pretty sure that our legend was built around the biblical Cartaphilus, and the plot of the highlander as I'm sure we talked of their legendary combat against one another, and each was sworn to kill the others on sight! In the end, the fellow we thought was Mel Ott actually did die. Elvis lives on. Mr. Eslary went on to teach at other schools, and now, unless the Internet lies, <a href="http://www.omss.ca/pages/show2010p2.html">makes historical models.</a> But Joel... Joel is a completely different enigma.</span></span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPKmHaqrbCAbi56I-hsC7urNxpj899MPM-vpX4DdkyyYOy5m6g70GxEyYuEwMgdvDpjZ7js56kKupJEM-zPR6z76v4nitXdJ8-AEQzZmNjwOXeRsyV9AzGvbDWF_Zf2Qg9PrXNEdttMcpz/s1600/turtle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPKmHaqrbCAbi56I-hsC7urNxpj899MPM-vpX4DdkyyYOy5m6g70GxEyYuEwMgdvDpjZ7js56kKupJEM-zPR6z76v4nitXdJ8-AEQzZmNjwOXeRsyV9AzGvbDWF_Zf2Qg9PrXNEdttMcpz/s1600/turtle.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's right, I'm immortal bitches!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span dir="auto"><span dir="auto">Rob and I went on a rampage trying to one up each other to find Joel Higgins memorabilia in the days before the Internet was mainstream. I bought CD's with the Silver Spoons theme song on it. Rob researched and found that Joel had co-written a play called 'The Fields of Ambrosia' which ran for 23 nights in London before it closed. He had ordered a copy of the CD, and played it proudly. (Joel actually did a lot of Broadway, and had quite the set up pipes!) I named my pet turtle Joel Higgins, and then ordered the VHS movie "First Affair" which Joel Higgins played the starring role. (This was before people ever really bought movies, so it was quite expensive, but well worth the look on Rob's face.) Rob and my other friend Chris, who was begrudgingly in on the joke sang the Silver Spoons theme song as part of the best man speech at my wedding making me laugh uncontrollably, and the rest of the audience look at each other uncomfortably. It was glorious!</span></span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxRE5Kf3Vlosz7QR7QpmAMwEMvg-NUo5UrtAhy5iy3FgdquF7NrPdGBhTvRf9NKJ9bHWQVwskT_iiJKEaXvpgXtCrpJRbhRM0EuZKv2aPOTNYeSmdnAsyqeuCyYRo1YR7_vhbpJX4Q2gLI/s1600/silverspoonsbook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxRE5Kf3Vlosz7QR7QpmAMwEMvg-NUo5UrtAhy5iy3FgdquF7NrPdGBhTvRf9NKJ9bHWQVwskT_iiJKEaXvpgXtCrpJRbhRM0EuZKv2aPOTNYeSmdnAsyqeuCyYRo1YR7_vhbpJX4Q2gLI/s320/silverspoonsbook.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A must have for anyones library.</td></tr>
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<span dir="auto"><span dir="auto">That's when the Internet stepped things up a notch... We both agreed that the winner would be the one who could actually get Joel Higgins to visit us. (Spoiler alert, nobody has won so far but we are talking immortality here, so we have some time to settle the score!) What I did do is manage to find a Silver Spoons forum where people openly talked about their love for the 80's sitcom. I having researched the episodes was able to speak with some level of authority on it. I spouted my opinions, glorified Joel, and slammed down others who sought to say that Rick Schroeder was the true star of the show. Oh sure, Ricky was a cute little kid and all, but Joel was f***'n immortal! I met on the forum a lady by the name of Judith Moose. Judith was uncommonly knowledgeable about Joel personally. She was writing a book on Silver Spoons, and spoke as if she spoke for him. I often wonder how she knew him. (I've recently found the she founded the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2219990/">JM Media Group and Signing Stars Publishing.)</a> In December 2003, she published her first book, "Together: A Sitcom Lover's Guide To Silver Spoons". She introduced me to Joel's Official fan page to which I was the first one to post on his guest book. I gushed about how awesome he was, and how immortal he was, and how I spent my life looking for him on there, in a way that only a deranged lunatic could. Then in December of 2001 the ultimate thing happened... I'm pretty sure I have Judith A. Moose to thank for it. I received an email from Joel Higgins himself wishing me a Merry Christmas and thanking me for the kind words on his fan site. Now it is quite possible that it was Rob playing a prank on me, but I choose to think the immortal one actually acknowledged my existence.</span></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPIgLxBkhbKx8RQAvpxrG2SuDrH0xXSTbhLaPKhBKGi1GecabMGExwUOiCQFUp_SNkNHELMDTtqYsRNAvaRFQq5izJBX8nH5aGkevDqzVW655_Yf7M7bFyBQNSR2RELqBIBMK8PKsXDWHS/s1600/Joel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPIgLxBkhbKx8RQAvpxrG2SuDrH0xXSTbhLaPKhBKGi1GecabMGExwUOiCQFUp_SNkNHELMDTtqYsRNAvaRFQq5izJBX8nH5aGkevDqzVW655_Yf7M7bFyBQNSR2RELqBIBMK8PKsXDWHS/s1600/Joel.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I will never die!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span dir="auto"><span dir="auto">I never wrote him back which was kind of an idiot move on my part. Life moves too fast, and I had other things to worry about, and Joel got moved to the back burner of my life. (Who am I kidding, I got a girlfriend, and sex became way more important than chasing down the immortals.) I never got a chance to thank Joel for the letter, or the awesome times and laughs in my life that he unknowingly created. I never got a chance to thank Judith for actually creating that thrill for me. I found her on facebook recently, and have attempted to add her as a friend, but I doubt she'll remember me. So i decided to write this blog to hopefully spread the word, and who knows. Maybe one of them will see it and know that they are appreciated.</span></span><br />
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<span dir="auto"><span dir="auto">Cheers Joel and Judith!</span></span></div>
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</div>MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-22787497313193632872012-03-15T20:58:00.001-07:002012-03-15T20:59:07.777-07:00More controversial stuff from my brain...<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6cDsnFeFi5OavjKI8oXutcpzsbERk3iyBW5SuGGL332Bmaov1TyueF9kF7NRi2-7oChzI0q_-T1zTUHabtMxbc-BJhBhhbunmB_VwP9aX_VBD59v8H4islGQ65CWW0qBIYV0l3b3R57Gd/s1600/surfing+unicorn+2.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6cDsnFeFi5OavjKI8oXutcpzsbERk3iyBW5SuGGL332Bmaov1TyueF9kF7NRi2-7oChzI0q_-T1zTUHabtMxbc-BJhBhhbunmB_VwP9aX_VBD59v8H4islGQ65CWW0qBIYV0l3b3R57Gd/s320/surfing+unicorn+2.PNG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This picture kicks almost too much ass</td></tr>
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I often want to sit down and do another blog, because frankly I really do enjoy writing. I never know what's going to end up on this page until it spills from my fingers, and then I'm off to a magic place known as... Well I don't know what it's known as. If I knew I guess I could go there more often. The only thing I'm sure of is there is probably surfing unicorns there. I actually photoshopped this picture together myself, I'm quite proud of it. One day I wanted to see a surfing unicorn, and much to my disappointment, there was no images of surfing unicorns on Google. So I took matters into my own hands. Thus the surfing unicorn was born. I still think it would be a kick ass t-shirt, and may still get around to that.<br />
<br />
So I actually got quite a few comments on my last blog: <a href="http://themeanderingmindofmatt.blogspot.com/2012/02/atheists-and-other-beliefs.html" target="_blank">Atheists and Other Belief's</a>. Not so many written on the page itself, but people who approached me personally. It is nice to know I'm being read, in fact it is quite a rush. It's also pretty cool that I'm actually getting people who I don't know reading it. All the stats show I've got lots of American readers, and some as far away as Russia and New Zealand. (But I know my NZ friend, but still it's cool to see you here Jenn.)<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiotH4J_buUMllJJB-kuDgDCUp7KQ321GeYNkMLLWv_HmAZl5LIhd5sYvZSlE5cKb14soV8ddW0Ahak_dxuiMqykpwr_U4V4Ef5hDBRdzwC9NraC0DZMBqHBSekNUEkVuuPbrarjTCJYJuM/s1600/strawberry-shortcake1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiotH4J_buUMllJJB-kuDgDCUp7KQ321GeYNkMLLWv_HmAZl5LIhd5sYvZSlE5cKb14soV8ddW0Ahak_dxuiMqykpwr_U4V4Ef5hDBRdzwC9NraC0DZMBqHBSekNUEkVuuPbrarjTCJYJuM/s1600/strawberry-shortcake1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Strawberry bitches!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
One of the things most people asked me is what I was going to write about next, and gave me lots of ideas for controversial topics. Political correctness, Joseph Kony, abortion, racism, and which is better: Chocolate or Vanilla? (The answer by the way of course is Strawberry) While I do have many opinions to share, and some are indeed against the norm. Hell most are against the norm. I kind of thrive on playing devils advocate... I don't really want to be known as the controversial guy. I'm just a guy who spits out his thoughts, and hopefully gives you a chuckle as I have low self esteem and validation for my thoughts is what I crave more than anything. (LOOK AT ME, COMPLIMENT ME, LOVE ME!!!) As such, I also need to please everyone so here are my short answers to the controversies. <br />
<br />
Political Correctness: Full of crap and censorship of the worst kind. To be able to tell anyone that they can't say something because they might offend someone takes away a basic human right. They have the right to say it, and you have the right to be offended. You don't have the right to shut someone up if you don't like what they say, but you have the right to not like it, and not listen to it.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZCtzPwft4T-IlpA6Y5av30ArdfL4NHscxubPWspSWH-K9vgROf5R65kqNrP6MgbfduMm6wmF7T1RRdlPuGrDPk_iee2eliakdQ0YAQz8Q_cqzDTGalpp1EUlGC8Kqn0CEMCs8WO5IZKK0/s1600/controversy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZCtzPwft4T-IlpA6Y5av30ArdfL4NHscxubPWspSWH-K9vgROf5R65kqNrP6MgbfduMm6wmF7T1RRdlPuGrDPk_iee2eliakdQ0YAQz8Q_cqzDTGalpp1EUlGC8Kqn0CEMCs8WO5IZKK0/s320/controversy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Controversialy stolen from someone else's blog...<br />
I gave them a thumbs up, so it's OK.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Joseph Kony: Horrible horrible person, but as I understand it, probably just as horrible as what he's fighting against. The Ugandan government doesn't have a stellar human rights track record either. There is no clear solution to the issue save the Ugandan people need to make that decision of what they want and take it.<br />
<br />
Abortion: This ones tough... No one has the right to tell you what to decide to do. I don't believe that it should be used as a birth control method, but neither do I believe that a child should ever be raised by someone who can't support it. I'd like to say that adoption would be the best solution in my opinion, but I don't have, nor do I want the right to tell you what to do.<br />
<br />
Racism: The only way to truly abolish racism is to deny it's existence, because in a truly racism free society, no one would look at anyone as anything more than a human. The thought of anyone being different wouldn't exist. However, we must acknowledge that it does exist to be able to stop acknowledging it. Strange one. <br />
<br />
Chocolate vs. Vanilla? See the above picture.<br />
<br />
Well see there I went being all controversial again! I really don't want to be that guy.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8FCZ9hDGuwPf-xc3fbmPlflOzheheAB8CsslGc4ywCD4p1THiGuSVFs93kfFJJfvjboO3CZbJA0BE8XZ4Z9KQmAl0Bdp_WBNxFE7o378YTzfV0ZfIon194NLP-UTbohoHVjbFwkKXC-x9/s1600/Record_Player.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8FCZ9hDGuwPf-xc3fbmPlflOzheheAB8CsslGc4ywCD4p1THiGuSVFs93kfFJJfvjboO3CZbJA0BE8XZ4Z9KQmAl0Bdp_WBNxFE7o378YTzfV0ZfIon194NLP-UTbohoHVjbFwkKXC-x9/s320/Record_Player.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A broken record player which keeps playing <br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGF5ROpjRAU">The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins</a> by Leonard Nemoy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I want to make you laugh, and if I can't then what's the point of doing this after all. OK, people stop asking me to write about politics. I'd much rather write about the movie I just saw. Thor. It was good. I really thought the way Loki wrestled power away from Odin and Thor was symbolic of the way Steven Harper beat the Liberals and NDP... Damn it. OK, that was a cheap joke, I'm better than that. I'm like a sad clown... A washed up satirist... A broken down record player, just spinning the same track over and over and over.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvzHlOJi6i-jRQnQC5yra8t8weT9bPb0OmkYYvGUqOxupAIsDgRe9R-Xrjr0U-_3Ew5OZ1Ys61-mzPxs8OAHRA0mHutl3i4h9vBOX4gBVhIcKuo70TSfIF-6jsYQHT-LfTOz4jJ9DDKdEU/s1600/starwars01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvzHlOJi6i-jRQnQC5yra8t8weT9bPb0OmkYYvGUqOxupAIsDgRe9R-Xrjr0U-_3Ew5OZ1Ys61-mzPxs8OAHRA0mHutl3i4h9vBOX4gBVhIcKuo70TSfIF-6jsYQHT-LfTOz4jJ9DDKdEU/s320/starwars01.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I always thought he got a bad rap.</td></tr>
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You know it's a funny thing, just listening to that song once makes me feel better about myself. I mean I know Spock made a lot more money that I can ever dream of, and he's considered famous the world over. I'll probably never achieve those levels of success, but on the other hand, I'll never have to endure the humiliation of knowing that I wrote that song. It kind of makes me feel good about myself actually. I'm an OK guy. Who cares if people like me. I can hold my head high and know that the worst contribution to music I'll ever make is a bad rendition of Wanted Dead or Alive at Karaoke. I mean I guess someone could tape it and put me on YouTube, and I could become the next Star Wars Kid or something, but I think that's pretty unlikely.<br />
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OK... I'm good. I'll write again, but I don't think I'll try and please you next time. No more surfing unicorns, no more statements of political whateverness, no more needless Spock references. I'm just going to write about what I want to write about! Which will probably be about unicorns, politics, and maybe turtles. But for now, I'm hungry... I'm gonna go eat!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisjs_rLU0vFPmLSYzlkHGt-JYcLkF6v6xG9JpxchQn2jhhg6dib_HhcPDhRlrSA9PMQ5NDoqrwpWbd4ZyE4d_7wr9J2FLZRpQonqV74Z2SLgFh8eo2Rw4hrcl35IZxEAGTWqpCyH4EwR4I/s1600/galleryimage1405318189-mar-13-2012-600x699.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisjs_rLU0vFPmLSYzlkHGt-JYcLkF6v6xG9JpxchQn2jhhg6dib_HhcPDhRlrSA9PMQ5NDoqrwpWbd4ZyE4d_7wr9J2FLZRpQonqV74Z2SLgFh8eo2Rw4hrcl35IZxEAGTWqpCyH4EwR4I/s320/galleryimage1405318189-mar-13-2012-600x699.jpg" width="274" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seasoned with salt water, rainbows, and tears of small girls.</td></tr>
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</div>MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-55014795848813707582012-02-27T21:34:00.000-08:002012-02-27T21:36:42.822-08:00Atheists and other beliefs.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqqm-LDGNlzEY4NdBIx92E7NDaWBkVim5DSkqRD3zBJVuBH5yJA3j4Cxa5QhxrqasFiQkVywox6VAkWrJWG-6ClJh0cSeyR-Q8J-RknFPSmc75sB8YccACSq72zbLw5-1yfzq5iwRr4Lgr/s1600/JesusDarwin1(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqqm-LDGNlzEY4NdBIx92E7NDaWBkVim5DSkqRD3zBJVuBH5yJA3j4Cxa5QhxrqasFiQkVywox6VAkWrJWG-6ClJh0cSeyR-Q8J-RknFPSmc75sB8YccACSq72zbLw5-1yfzq5iwRr4Lgr/s320/JesusDarwin1(1).jpg" width="320" /></a>So recently I've been thinking a lot about what people believe in, and consequentially, what people don't believe in. I go on YouTube and find arrogant Christians telling me what questions that I can ask Atheists to mess them up, and videos of Atheists telling me questions I can ask Christians to mess them up... All the questions and points they made seemed to support their sides, and basically pitted science vs. faith, and ultimately made the people on the video look douchey and close minded.<br />
But as I continued to look through my videos having a good laugh at everyone involved. I noticed something rather interesting. Each side was very specific. The Christians seemed to always target the Atheists and vice versa. Then I started to wonder to myself, where the hell are the other religions, and why aren't they represented? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtFVwA0t3abU-TfsxyAczvvFvU3_tXif8jsTgsp7XHRxMGTC-FguzHeuWlrjZPvrurYVijlqqfdLcp9j9GwDrqD-iHvDlIdX6WctYpUcluo9Zwg10h4ISIJZC_AizDDnVt0Yt6q8uplbA4/s1600/Religious+pics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtFVwA0t3abU-TfsxyAczvvFvU3_tXif8jsTgsp7XHRxMGTC-FguzHeuWlrjZPvrurYVijlqqfdLcp9j9GwDrqD-iHvDlIdX6WctYpUcluo9Zwg10h4ISIJZC_AizDDnVt0Yt6q8uplbA4/s320/Religious+pics.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Surely there must be someone hardcore fundamentalist Christians who were making videos saying that Buddha had it all wrong, and screw the path to enlightenment, and there must be some Atheists who claim that Confucius says nothing, cause he's full of shite! But it wasn't there. Or at least I didn't see it. I mean lets face it, I didn't look that hard. If it's not in my face, why bother researching. So I'm just going to assume that it doesn't. At least not in great enough numbers to garner my attention.<br />
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It's probably fair to tell you that in my youth I was part of a youth group that was quite fundamentalist. I'm not saying that I ever marched around with a "God Hates Fags" sign or anything like that, but there were those who did believe quite literally that the Bible was the word of God. I wasn't quite worldy enough to ask if they thought the world was only 5000 years old, or if dinosaurs ever existed, or even if they thought it might be OK to kill people who didn't share their beliefs.<br />
<br />
<em>"Then I heard the LORD say to the other men, "Follow him through the city and kill everyone whose forehead is not marked. Show no mercy; have no pity! Kill them all – old and young, girls and women and little children. But do not touch anyone with the mark. Begin your task right here at the Temple." So they began by killing the seventy leaders. "Defile the Temple!" the LORD commanded. "Fill its courtyards with the bodies of those you kill! Go!" So they went throughout the city and did as they were told." </em> (Ezekiel 9:5-7 NLT)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWW3qKmOHIL6UQlepW5ZBKeVrr1_AyZKv28bn-EuezJ0tmXHScka78qWiMku5VTvGX16ULLZ06GvPBXBBMRqwR_W9Kw6wBvwQKN2M4ABOnQyXmjW0UERMErt-3TOLNy1bjCnQBgvs6nHxA/s1600/hipster-christianity-jesus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWW3qKmOHIL6UQlepW5ZBKeVrr1_AyZKv28bn-EuezJ0tmXHScka78qWiMku5VTvGX16ULLZ06GvPBXBBMRqwR_W9Kw6wBvwQKN2M4ABOnQyXmjW0UERMErt-3TOLNy1bjCnQBgvs6nHxA/s320/hipster-christianity-jesus.jpg" width="320" /></a>Frankly I have read the bible since, and am pretty shocked at some of the stuff in there. I really can't take it litereally, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have some really good points as well. The old testament is pretty harsh, but Jesus had some really good ideas, and while I can't agree with everything the bible preaches, I can choose to listen to the relevant parts of it's philosophy. That last quote paints a very unfair picture I know, but I think my point is proven. I truly beleive that <u>most </u>Christians in their heart have good intentions, and honestly TRY and do the right thing. Some are just misguided, as we all are at times. The fundamentalist group that I was a part of really just wanted there to be more love in the world, and thought the best way to do that was to spread the word of Christ. The underlying intention was quite noble.<br />
<br />
I have since given up my "born-again" ways as I grow to understand that there is more than one way to reach whatever it is that we don't truly understand as God or god if you prefer. I do beleive in many of the Christian ideas however.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjixtDGMZpw0qF2Ub3qmGtnEZO1TFrfMaAr75_50Z6Vmww7s_Im0UhRRF6Tz8ly9KXpjsZ_utw0V2fugY3OH-OeBBJs8TVbdrfjxBsVi6M0A7tSDqZ97WedwyPQitpuMlRTcHOcQ1K1RtKR/s1600/Trash_Religion_T-shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjixtDGMZpw0qF2Ub3qmGtnEZO1TFrfMaAr75_50Z6Vmww7s_Im0UhRRF6Tz8ly9KXpjsZ_utw0V2fugY3OH-OeBBJs8TVbdrfjxBsVi6M0A7tSDqZ97WedwyPQitpuMlRTcHOcQ1K1RtKR/s320/Trash_Religion_T-shirt.jpg" width="256" /></a>The atheists however make the argument that you can't choose which parts of the Bible are good and bad, if you say it's God's word, then it all must be true, and then go ahead and pick holes in its stories, thusly proving that it all must be absolutely wrong. What a pretensious load of horseshit! Where in the world do we look at anything with one or two mistakes in it, and then decide that all its ideas must be false? This argument ONLY holds true for people who beleive that the entire Bible is the absolute word of God unchanged over the years. Beleive me when I tell you that this is a VERY small segment of the Christian population. The rest of us know that it's bad to eat babies, that probably evolution is a very valid thing, and that the idea of loving your neighbour, not murdering and stealing, and doing unto others is probably not such a bad guideline to live your life by. By no means do I agree with everything that the church has done, but that's a whole other blog.</div>
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So still though, there are people so strong minded in their beleifs about not having beliefs in a magic sky man that they feel they have to form groups, make videos, and ultimately prove a very small segment of a small population of the earth wrong. (Albeit a sometimes very vocal small segment.) Whilst doing this, they acknowledge that the rest of religion is wrong as well, but tend to ignore that as a whole and focus on the fundie Christians.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFz78RtSdn8hwBGihEIgvVSK1mhFZ4HrbGXlZYOWOFwQGI8p-rifZ_Thdz0QkpxBxLC1wanqzgCAh56cg8e5MU1_YczhpX5CQPNZ5nO9gHLx-SX9C7sE37UkpzhfxcDZTvm_6TeWYwe2b/s1600/self+absorbed..png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFz78RtSdn8hwBGihEIgvVSK1mhFZ4HrbGXlZYOWOFwQGI8p-rifZ_Thdz0QkpxBxLC1wanqzgCAh56cg8e5MU1_YczhpX5CQPNZ5nO9gHLx-SX9C7sE37UkpzhfxcDZTvm_6TeWYwe2b/s320/self+absorbed..png" width="320" /></a>Perplexed, I asked one of my atheist friends, who I consider to be very smart about what she thought about why it seems that most online atheist content only attacked Christians, and were there equally vocal atheists perhaps that I wasn't aware of in other societies that I might be too unworldy to know about. She looked thoughtfully at me, and suggested that she agreed, it was strange, and offered that other societies sometimes don't have words and phrases which are nearly so self important as ours. For some reason it's a very ethnocentric idea that we need to define ourselves as much as we do, and indeed perhaps Atheists in other societies may not feel the need to define themselves as such because their beliefs, or lack there of, just are; and don't need a name. Consequentially those who beleive in other religions in those societies may not feel the need to push it in other's faces as much as certain segments of our population, just because what they beleive is, and that's all they need. I kind of like that idea.</div>
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Maybe Atheists and Christians can get along. Maybe we need to stop worrying about "Me" and start worrying about "We". I can't tell you what or what not to beleive anymore than I can tell you how you should feel. </div>
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It just is.</div>
<br />MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-46402014223957896172012-02-19T06:56:00.000-08:002012-02-19T06:56:49.604-08:00Rainbows and LollipopsGood morning all! <br />
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I had fun last time I did this so I thought I'd better blog again. I wish I had much more time in my life. Frankly though between work, commuting, family, friends, and the little amount of sleep I get, writing blogs just isn't in the cards as much as I'd like. <br />
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I actually fancied myself a person who could write quite well. At least I can make a lot of words spill out of my fingers. I think that there is a novel in me somewhere. I've had the first sentence in my head for a while. To put it in perspective, I haven't smoked in probably 15 years, but...
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Holy crap, ADD moment here, Madelyn is watching Peter Pan on the TV.
They just got captured by the savage indians. Racisim is so funny when we didn't care about it. Ah Disney, you and your family entertainment. Good job putting those redskins in their place. Did you know that indians have red skin because they kissed a girl and blushed, and now they all blush?<br />
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Alright, back to my point about having a novel in me... So like I said, I haven't had a cigarettte in 15 years, so the opening line must have been around since before that. It opens with: "Jack pulled the matche's head slowly against the long black stip of..."<br />
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Hmmm, I'm not sure if I wanted it to be a wooden match or paper match. If it was paper then the strip would be black. If it was wooden, it might be red and gold. I wonder why they use different colours for different types. Sorry, ADD'ing again.<br />
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So where was I. Oh yes... "Jack pulled the matche's head slowly against the long black stip watching it briefly spark, and then explode in a bright white and orange flare on the bright read head of the match. A whiff of sulfur permated the air..."<br />
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I used to love the smell of matched. Maybe everyone does. Sulfur is one of the stinkiest things, but on a match, it's enthralling. I wonder what other horrible smelling things do smell great when burning. Skunk comes to mind.<br />
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So back to the opening of my story. "A whiff of sulfur permated the air as Jack put the match to the tip of his white cigarette and pulled deeply..."<br />
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You know, I still get the occasional craving for a cigarette. Not often, and not nearly enough to ever light one up... Just enough for my brain to say. "You know, a cigarette would taste really good right now."<br />
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I guess that feeling never quite goes away. If they made cigarettes that were good for you, or at least weren't that bad for you, I'd probably still smoke. I wonder if they'll ever figure out a way to make non-addictive smokes out of brocolli. When they do sign me up.<br />
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Oh, so back to my novel. I really am ADDing a lot today. Perhaps I just need a coffee to concentrate. So where was I. "A whiff of sulfur permated the air as Jack put the match to the tip of his white cigarette and pulled deeply and the sweet smoke gently filled his lungs taking the edge off the morning hangover. He hadn't even been drinking that night, but..."<br />
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Wow, was I a drinker back then. I did love me some beer! Wow, I'm pretty bad ass. I'm almost ashamed to admit it, I drank Bud back then. I would probably still drink a Bud if it was all that was offered, don't get me wrong. I'm not that much of a snob. I'm just saying I couldn't ever see buying it otherwise. I'm looking forward to beerfest this year mind you. It is one of the great highlights of the beer drinking year. It was where I was introduced to Beau's Bog Water. Still my favourite beer to this day. It's a shame that only make it around Christmas. I stocked up this year. I bought Dundurn out a couple of times this year, and introduced many of my friends to it. Most loved it. Some didn't. (You know who you are.) Anyway, get yourself some Beau's of any stripe, it is delicous!<br />
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Um yeah, so my story. I don't know why I never got past the first paragraph. I'm pretty sure it would have been awesome. I have to go though, Peter Pan I think is about to slap some women around. I think I'd better turn that off.<br />
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Cheers all!<br />
MattieMattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8455728262357157615.post-30390351935373483072012-01-23T21:19:00.000-08:002012-01-23T21:19:18.739-08:00Blogging?Wow, I never thought that I would write a blog. I mean what really do I have to say that would hold anyones interest accepting maybe my own, and a few close friends. True I love to write and make observations about the world, but really how egotistical of me to think that any of it was worth publishing.<br />
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I mean I'm not conceited or anything, I just have a lot of reason to be. (Credit to Dave Burg on that one. (Double credit to you if you know who Dave Burg is without the help of Google.)) (By the way, I really enjoy parenthesis. I often embed them into each other. I'm never sure however if I should use square brackets as suggested by my math teacher in grade 9.)<br />
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It always kind of a fantasy of mine that I could write an email that would go viral and my friends would forward, and then someone would eventually send it back to me with someone else having taken credit. In a fit of irony I wrote beautiful and eloquent emails telling people that hoax emails were indeed just the 90's version of the chain letter, and that they should be ignored. I urged my friends not to forward them, thinking that people would understand my sarcasm and beautiful wit. That perhaps my ingenious use of reverse psychology would prevail. I never knew if it ever got forwarded, but I never got one back. I like to assume that its still navigating the globe and one day will return to my inbox like a prodigal son. Maybe however they actually did some good, and people took them to heart and stopped forwarding emails that promised me true love if only I would forward their poem to 72 friends. I certainly don't receive as many of those anymore.<br />
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I suspect that no one ever got it though, and perhaps my words sit discarded as so many 1's and 0's in an Exchange servers backup tapes somewhere. Perhaps people took me literally. They do that quite a bit. Maybe the world is not ready for my meandering mind, and maybe it never will be.MattClaushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459822048391183804noreply@blogger.com1