I just wanted to send a quick note to all my American friends now that the Supreme courst approved Obamacare to let them know it's really not THAT bad.
|Known for founding the UN, Universal Health Care,|
and holding pencils like cigarettes.
Anyhow, now that we've had it for a few years, I figured I could give my pals south of the border a little real insite into what Governement Health Care really means to Canadians, and not what you hear on your polarized news networks who pretty much tell you it's the work of the Devil, or a gift from a non-deity based miracle.
|Drink beer and set off fireworks, or I'll send the armada!|
But don't get me wrong, it's not that bad. I'd say at least 75% of all applications are approved, and the other 25% are generally only denied because it's almost tea time, so they are just trying to rush through. You can apply again in 6 months, or as little as 3 if you lose a limb directly due to the denial.
|State of the art transportation and medical care facility.|
If indeed this doesn't resolve your medical emergency, you are given a medical grade Molson Canadian, to take off the pain, and given a cot, and 3 warm blankets. You are then slid into a room with a TV to watch a hockey game or if that's not your taste to listen to Nickleback, Anne Murray, and the Tragically Hip.
The doctor, (his name is Maurice), generally gets to see you in about 7 hours and then fixes you, pats you on the head, gives you a governement approved lollipop and a perscription (in french and english) for medical marjiauna and a case of Molsons and sends you on your way. Obviously, you wife is waiting for you, and you have to get back to your lumberjacking duties.
Now I kow what you're saying... 'Matt, that's all fine and dandy, but all those high tech medical procedures must cost a fortune, and there is no way my Blue Cross will ever approve that, even if the government pays for it.'
|Ed, our extremely friendly tax collector.|
All in all, it's a win/win for everyone, and those evil insurance companies don't make a penny. And really we're not 'Pinko Communists'. We get to own land and start businesses, we can work as hard as you want and make as much money as you want. The great thing is in the north, the sun doesn't go down in the summer, and doesn't come up in the winter, so you work 6 months straight, with 15 minute breaks, and then you get to sleep for 6 months. That's a lot of cash let me tell you!
Anyhow, you can see it's not really that bad. What's more it works. Our average life expectancy is 80.7, yours is 78.7. Our infant mortality rate is 4.6% yours is 6.4%. Our football teams are so healthy they only need 3 downs to make it 9.144 metres, yours needs 4 downs to make it 10 yards. As you can see by these World Health Orginization standard measurements, you need to step your game a little bit to get on the ball. I think Obamacare may give you that edge. It's going to be okay, I promise you. Your little brother in the north is doing just fine with it, and it is not because we only have 400 residents here, it's because the system works. Now you'll pardon me, I have to go take my government sponsored meds, grab some potato chips, and go watch Cheech and Chong. Now that's a great Canadian!
|If he had a medical grade Molson's, he'd be fine.|