I am approaching my 39th birthday in a few days and feeling my age a little. I expect that when I turn 93, I might read this and laugh at the young whippersnapper who has the gall to say that 39 is old. But as is the case with everyone, the age you are makes up 100% of your life, and thus, seems like a lifetime. In theory it is middle age. I'm OK with that. I will only have one 39th birthday, and I look forward to becoming a crotchety old man...
|Secret to long life? A steady diet of whiskey and whores!|
So while I know I can't offer you as much as grandpa could have, he's not here, and probably wouldn't know what to do with a blog if I slowly and painfully explained to him how social media connects the world, and how to put his outdated racist thoughts out there for everyone to read. Also, I kinda hope that if he could work the internet that he'd be surfing porn instead. He deserves it.
So instead, I am going to offer you somethings that I've learned in my 39 years on this planet.
1. A lot of things I know are obvious.
2. Boobs are great!
|Sorry, I lost my train of thought.|
Of course the biological reason for the boob is for mothers to feed their young. If breast feeding propaganda is to be believed, this helps create a bond between mother and child. That coupled with the fact that somewhere deep in men's psyche they are attracted to boobs because they are trying re-capture that bond and are drawn to women in a way that creates a family unit. The family unit is stronger than the individual person as multiple people who are connected by love work as a team. and have more strengths. Those teams dominating individuals have taught us that the group is stronger than the individual, and thus groups of families are stronger than one family. Following this train of thought, by maintaining groups of humans together who have common interests, we've made cities, and countries, and essentially civilization. (Opposable thumbs help as well.) So the next time you are sitting back in your home enjoying a beer, instead of being eaten by a bear.... Thank boobs.
3. Truth is a matter of perspective.
|Sorry, the boobs picture was way better.|
There is such a thing as "The Truth". It is an absolute. It is the way things are, completely and unquestionably right. It has no morals, no reason, and no accountability. It is just the way things are, period. (Was that 'period' necessary?)
We all observe the truth every moment of our conscious lives. (Probably the unconscious parts of our lives as well. I can't say.) We observe it through all our senses. We take it, process it, interpret it, and it becomes our reality.
The issue of perspective comes from the fact that all humans are different and unique. Everyone has a different biological make up, and even those with similar DNA has been shaped by different life experiences. As such no two peoples interpretation of the truth are the same. So while the absolute truth is unwavering, everyone observes it differently based on their perspective, so everyone's personal truth is biased to themselves, and we can NEVER know 'The Truth' even though it exists.
Anyway, my point is this... The next time you are talking to someone who you are sure is completely wrong and a moron, or someone who seems really smart, but has ideas which are completely misguided, remember they see the same truth as you. Their life experiences and genetic makeup has just given them a different perspective on the exact same thing that you have seen. In fact maybe your the moron, because what you 'know' is absolutely wrong. Take some time and listen to everyone's perspective no matter how skewed it is from your own. You'll add to your own experience, and create a more well rounded personal vision of truth.
(Just a quick note, I have my songs on shuffle right now, and I have learned something new. Britney Spears' 'Oops I Did It Again's ending and Skid Row's 'Eighteen and Life to Go's beginning mixes extremely well into each other. It's almost scary.)
4. Britney Spears - Sebastian Bach from Skid Row
|Might be the same person, I'm not sure.|
5. No one can make you happy but you.
|Bad skit, good life lesson.|
I find that most people are always looking for the next thing in their lives, and they forget to enjoy what they have. We look to things, people, events, TV, Movies, books, and all other external stimuli to make them happy. I'm not immune from this either. Most of the pursuits in my life are based on finding things to give me pleasure. (This includes selfish interests such as video games and technology, and selfless things like family and doing things for friends.) Even things I hate doing are generally done to give myself the means to put myself in a position where I will get gratification.
It doesn't matter however what you do, what you have, who your with, or where you are, (or any combination the previous statements.), YOU are always going to be there. You don't have a choice in the matter. You simply can't escape that you are stuck with yourself. No matter what you do to try and escape yourself, the best you can do is maybe alter your ego's perception of yourself.
So you might as well like yourself. Learn to find happiness just being you, and then no matter what you do, at least you'll have yourself to keep you happy. People who have learned this lesson can be more happy with nothing than those who try and fill their emptiness with other things.
People also tend to like people who like themselves. When I was young I tried to be what I thought people wanted me to be. Generally it made me unhappy, and wasn't effective. I then learned that I can be a total goofball spastic geek who is true to myself, and people responded to me much better. Maybe I just attracted other spastic geeks, but if that's the case, I'd much rather hang out with them, then all the 'cool' people in the world. (Did I just call all my friends spastic geeks? Maybe. I don't see that as a negative.)
6. Everyone is Evil.
|I am going to feed on your soul for fun.|
I truly believe that we all have super dark thoughts. Thoughts that are not morally correct. Thoughts that are not politically correct. Thoughts that we could get arrested for if we were to admit them to anyone. I believe that pregidous is natural, and inherent in all life. Morality is a question of perspective and societies perceived 'right' way of doing things. While most of us live by that code, most of us also disagree with a lot of it.
While I don't think I would ever murder anyone, I can't say that it hasn't seriously crossed my mind that it might be an appropriate thing to do. Not even for any good reason. There are many completely inappropriate racist jokes which I happen to find hilarious. I think that recycling is a waste of time, and that we only do it to make ourselves feel better about horrible treatment of nature in the first place. I sometimes think that homeless people are a blight on society, and should be dealt with harshly. I think that the sex trade has a place in our society, and is way more empowering to the workers than anyone will ever admit. I believe that Rebecca Black's 'Friday' is actually a pretty good representation of modern pop culture and should be appreciated as art.
What's more I think that the majority of people agree with me on some of these points and probably a whole bunch more that I can't admit here. However as these subjects are taboo, they can't be mentioned to anyone ever, for fear of judgment and retribution for not having clean thoughts. Even those who have an opposite perspective to yours, they still have thoughts that are just as taboo as yours.
It's comforting to know that there are others who think the same evil thoughts you do. Even if they never admit it. It's natural to think evil thoughts. Just draw the line at acting out on the ones which cross your own personal line of morality.
6. I talk way too much...
|My last lecture.|
My friends with ADD tell me that my stories are way too long. They're a bunch of jerks. They'll never know I wrote that, so I don't feel bad. My friends with normal attention spans tell me my stories are too long. They're probably right. I appreciate them all. I don't listen to them mind you, but at least they are nice people. My friends who have hyper attentiveness tell me my stories are right, and ask for more detail. They are masochists, and I love them all.
I love to give detail, and will go on to the Nth degree about everything if given the chance. Sometimes you need to know when to shut up.